Hi guys, was just wondering if someone could quickly take a look at my Language paper 2 Question 5 answer and give it a rough mark
This was the question: Young people are not responsible enough to drive cars until they are at least twenty-one years old.' Write an article for a broadsheet newspaper in which you explain your point of view on this statement'.
Intelligence. Care. Sympathy. In an ideal world, our youth would display these imperative qualities when beginning to drive that would indubitably guide us to a happier and safer nation. However, recklessness, lunacy and utter stupidity have become the prevailing dark forces dictating the way in which the younger generation are driving in today’s world. Should this remain incessant, the mortality rates will inevitably increase as a result of the potentially fatal consequences of our adolescents’ disregard towards fellow drivers. Having worked at nine different workplaces throughout my career as a paediatric neurosurgeon, I have been able to see first hand the dire consequences that often occur when we see such young boys and girls carelessly driving around the streets. I would often have to travel a distance of two hours per journey to reach the hospital at which I worked, and almost every day, without fail, I would witness a man or a woman on the ground swarmed by a plethora of paramedics aiming to help them regain their consciousness. It is a minute of spontaneity, a minute of mania, which causes these immature acts that so often end as a tragedy. Simply put, this must stop. This must stop now.
Of course, you might contend that driving at a younger age installs our teenagers with a sense of responsibility, a sense of responsibility that will allow them to flourish later on in life, be it in their professions or at home looking after their family. What’s more, alongside this responsibility, they will also be given a fantastically convenient method of transportation, which can be universally used to get from A to Z, whenever and wherever they want. To these critics I say this: there is nothing that driving teaches, which other, much less dangerous and much more befitting activities can teach to our youth just as well. Take, for example, charity work. By working together as a team in a charity organisation, we will not only be providing our younger generation with experience for future workplaces, but also, much like driving, a strong sense of responsibility to ensure they are keeping up to date with their specific roles within the organisation. Driving is often deemed to be symbolic of the first steps to adulthood, but the inescapable reality is that it has no place for such a young group of people. Albeit, I may be seemingly over passionate and degrading young drivers entirely, but it must be understood that this is not my intention. Instead, I merely wish to convey the importance of acknowledging this contemporary issue as well as the steps we can take to resolve it.
It is also outrageous that young drivers are immediately permitted to drive on densely populated areas straight after gaining their licence, including motorways and dual carriageways. A recent survey conducted in York revealed that approximately 56% of fatalities that have occurred with younger generations driving, have taken place in these regions. Were you aware of this? Did you ever stop to think or perhaps even acknowledge the existence of this issue? The likely answer is no. With the average speed of cars on the motorway conventionally being 60 mph, it is completely understandable that such a great deal of deaths by car accidents are occurring on a daily basis. After having experienced around 20 lessons with a driving instructor who was probably focused on their next client and maximising their income, of course these young people will not be ready for the road. It is not enough. It is often said that, ‘with age comes experience’ and the exact same principle applies to driving for younger generations. Being faced with adversity, with challenges, is what moulds a human being to ensure they do not make mistakes in the future, but if these young people have never been exposed to these challenges, the chances of failure when it comes to driving in real life, will have already multiplied.
It is unequivocally evident that this is true.
However, not all hope is lost; like resilient seeds amidst barren soil, it sprouts the potential for transformation inspiring to rise above this contemporary issue in our society and catalyse the change needed for a better future. And here, the change will come in the form of a careful review of the current legislation around the age you must be to be able to start driving- I believe you must be at least 21 years old to start. Currently, teenagers as young as 17 are legally allowed to start driving. You must agree that this is complete and utter lunacy. Young boys and girls, who have just started college, who are still undergoing puberty, who are still finding their way in life, are allowed to drive such a complex machine as a car. Do you genuinely think this is right? To quote the famous and honourable Barack Obama- ‘we are the change that we seek’. So, let us. Let us be that change. Let us work collectively as a joint unit, and protest so that we can make a permanent change to the age restrictions of driving. Let us prevent adding another number to the casualties, causing another mother to endlessly weep over the loss of their child caught in the midst of a dangerously busy road. Most of all, let us never hear of the death of a young man or woman by a car accident ever again. Let us make a change.