how to reconnect with my roots as a brown girl living in the UK

Basically what the question says but for a bit of context, I'm an 18yo Pakistani girl living in England. I was born and raised in this country with English as my first language due to my parents' families speaking different languages. I can hold a casual convo in my dad's language but I want to learn my mum's language now (Urdu) as I feel like it's far more prevalent and allows one to communicate with others from different parts of Pakistan as it's the national language of the country. I can understand it a little but I can barely speak it and it's hardly spoken in my family so I've recently started watching Pakistani dramas* for about an hour a day to try and gain more exposure to the language and just to get more comfortable with it in general. It doesn't really feel like enough though, so if anyone has any tips on how to gain fluency quickly (ideally, I'd like to be able to hold proper convos and talk about different topics within 6 months to a year without sounding like a complete coconut 😭😭) that would be much appreciated.

Another thing is just the culture in general - I don't want to switch to wearing asian clothes full-time or anything but I do feel kinda bad that pretty much the only time I wear them is on Eid. I just don't know what to do about it since I like the more flashy outfits, I find the simple ones kinda boring and plain and I hate the floral/patterned salwar kameez. I also feel like I don't really listen to enough desi music (despite having a whole playlist dedicated to it lol) but that's not a huge issue for me tbh. I'd also love some recommendations for (female) Pakistani - or just desi in general - YouTubers who actually talk about their culture and heritage without completely bashing it. I used to watch Lilly Singh when I was younger but now thinking back her vids seem to be catering to the 'white gaze' if that makes sense in the sense that it feels like she just constantly pokes fun at her brownness. I also watched browngirlproblems1 and I LOVED her vids but she seems to have stopped uploading a while ago soo yeah, if you know of any entertaining YouTubers who are proud of their culture please do let me know The one thing I can say about myself though is that I LOVE south-asian food, I'd like to think I'm very cultured in that aspect ahaha.


*Sidenote about the dramas - I don't know if it's just me but I'm kinda sick of the whole 'innocent girl gets mistreated by awful family members and accused of really bad things and just suffers quietly for a very long time until suddenly things turn around and she gets her happy-ever-after whilst the bad people get their karma' trope sooo if anyone has any recommendations that don't involve that (or romance!!) then please do let me know because it's exhausting watching that kinda stuff repeatedly. I'm not being funny but those scenes where a strict dad flips out on his daughter without even listening to her (and similar scenes) stress me out sm, they're literally scarier than any horror film I swear.

I am also 18 living in the uk and I know it can be hard but try to speak more with your mum in urdu so that you get fluent at it

I do try to speak to her in Urdu or at least say things that I pick up in Urdu to her but she usually just laughs at my mistakes and corrects me and that's it (she doesn't laugh in a mean way btw, it's just because I usually make grammar mistakes that make what I say sound funny ig?) but it just feels like it's not enough. Last night I did binge-watch Pakistani dramas for several hours because I couldn't sleep tho and my confidence does seem to increase a bit whenever I watch the dramas but it just feels like really slow progress. I want to be able to speak Urdu properly so that I can speak to my future family without being laughed at or judged and so I can teach my children the language as well one day so they can grow up in a bilingual household.

Also I don't know if you're Pakistani/South Asian but if you are, do you have any other tips on how to just 'get more cultured'?

I am from Pakistan and no I wouldn't know how to be more cultured. But maybe try to wear the clothes or jewellery so you feel more connected. This doesn't have to be everyday, maybe like every Friday or something.

Do you have siblings who you practice talking to?

Every week you can start off with a new topic like basics, greetings, family, friends… etc. And google free Urdu resources along those topics or YouTube topics. I recently find that kids Urdu shows is helpful too for learning words like colors. I find that texting to other Urdu Pakistanis really help integrates it. I don’t mind if we can text regulalry in Urdu because I’m also trying to learn my mothers tongue it’s embarassing not knowing.

Basically what the question says but for a bit of context, I'm an 18yo Pakistani girl living in England. I was born and raised in this country with English as my first language due to my parents' families speaking different languages. I can hold a casual convo in my dad's language but I want to learn my mum's language now (Urdu) as I feel like it's far more prevalent and allows one to communicate with others from different parts of Pakistan as it's the national language of the country. I can understand it a little but I can barely speak it and it's hardly spoken in my family so I've recently started watching Pakistani dramas* for about an hour a day to try and gain more exposure to the language and just to get more comfortable with it in general. It doesn't really feel like enough though, so if anyone has any tips on how to gain fluency quickly (ideally, I'd like to be able to hold proper convos and talk about different topics within 6 months to a year without sounding like a complete coconut 😭😭) that would be much appreciated.

Another thing is just the culture in general - I don't want to switch to wearing asian clothes full-time or anything but I do feel kinda bad that pretty much the only time I wear them is on Eid. I just don't know what to do about it since I like the more flashy outfits, I find the simple ones kinda boring and plain and I hate the floral/patterned salwar kameez. I also feel like I don't really listen to enough desi music (despite having a whole playlist dedicated to it lol) but that's not a huge issue for me tbh. I'd also love some recommendations for (female) Pakistani - or just desi in general - YouTubers who actually talk about their culture and heritage without completely bashing it. I used to watch Lilly Singh when I was younger but now thinking back her vids seem to be catering to the 'white gaze' if that makes sense in the sense that it feels like she just constantly pokes fun at her brownness. I also watched browngirlproblems1 and I LOVED her vids but she seems to have stopped uploading a while ago soo yeah, if you know of any entertaining YouTubers who are proud of their culture please do let me know The one thing I can say about myself though is that I LOVE south-asian food, I'd like to think I'm very cultured in that aspect ahaha.


*Sidenote about the dramas - I don't know if it's just me but I'm kinda sick of the whole 'innocent girl gets mistreated by awful family members and accused of really bad things and just suffers quietly for a very long time until suddenly things turn around and she gets her happy-ever-after whilst the bad people get their karma' trope sooo if anyone has any recommendations that don't involve that (or romance!!) then please do let me know because it's exhausting watching that kinda stuff repeatedly. I'm not being funny but those scenes where a strict dad flips out on his daughter without even listening to her (and similar scenes) stress me out sm, they're literally scarier than any horror film I swear.

Oh to add to the context about myself, I don't have any extended family or cousins/aunts etc that I can see or talk to and whilst I do have south asian friends, many are quite uncultured icl or have very different cultures to mine 🥲 I also haven't been to a wedding in about 5 years and have no chance of going to any soon, and haven't been back home since I was 12 either so idk I just miss those experiences ig and feel really distant because of it and I want to change that because I miss the sense of belonging. Also not at uni, so can't go to any type of asian society 😅 But despite all that I still want to make an effort to feel more on touch with my culture so if anyone has any tips, preferably from other desis, that would be great 😁

well considering you dont have too much family maybe try duolingo - he cant kidnap when there isnt enough to make kidnapping worthwhile 😂

Basically what the question says but for a bit of context, I'm an 18yo Pakistani girl living in England. I was born and raised in this country with English as my first language due to my parents' families speaking different languages. I can hold a casual convo in my dad's language but I want to learn my mum's language now (Urdu) as I feel like it's far more prevalent and allows one to communicate with others from different parts of Pakistan as it's the national language of the country. I can understand it a little but I can barely speak it and it's hardly spoken in my family so I've recently started watching Pakistani dramas* for about an hour a day to try and gain more exposure to the language and just to get more comfortable with it in general. It doesn't really feel like enough though, so if anyone has any tips on how to gain fluency quickly (ideally, I'd like to be able to hold proper convos and talk about different topics within 6 months to a year without sounding like a complete coconut 😭😭) that would be much appreciated.

Another thing is just the culture in general - I don't want to switch to wearing asian clothes full-time or anything but I do feel kinda bad that pretty much the only time I wear them is on Eid. I just don't know what to do about it since I like the more flashy outfits, I find the simple ones kinda boring and plain and I hate the floral/patterned salwar kameez. I also feel like I don't really listen to enough desi music (despite having a whole playlist dedicated to it lol) but that's not a huge issue for me tbh. I'd also love some recommendations for (female) Pakistani - or just desi in general - YouTubers who actually talk about their culture and heritage without completely bashing it. I used to watch Lilly Singh when I was younger but now thinking back her vids seem to be catering to the 'white gaze' if that makes sense in the sense that it feels like she just constantly pokes fun at her brownness. I also watched browngirlproblems1 and I LOVED her vids but she seems to have stopped uploading a while ago soo yeah, if you know of any entertaining YouTubers who are proud of their culture please do let me know The one thing I can say about myself though is that I LOVE south-asian food, I'd like to think I'm very cultured in that aspect ahaha.


*Sidenote about the dramas - I don't know if it's just me but I'm kinda sick of the whole 'innocent girl gets mistreated by awful family members and accused of really bad things and just suffers quietly for a very long time until suddenly things turn around and she gets her happy-ever-after whilst the bad people get their karma' trope sooo if anyone has any recommendations that don't involve that (or romance!!) then please do let me know because it's exhausting watching that kinda stuff repeatedly. I'm not being funny but those scenes where a strict dad flips out on his daughter without even listening to her (and similar scenes) stress me out sm, they're literally scarier than any horror film I swear.