I don't like my dad's attitude

Extremely domineering. Insisting on looking over every contract I would sign. Recently struggling to look for a room in the town due to the serious housing crisis and lucky enough to be offered a room by a friend of a friend staying in a house, which I viewed thoroughly and with whom I chatted for an extended time. I did all the background check and received guarantee from my friend about her character.

Theoretically, I could have already signed a contract and moved in, but because of my dad's manner, things are still getting stuck as she is still preparing a contract that could satisfy him.

I am a 26-year old adult and my dad doesn't even live in the UK. He believes in random YouTubers more than his son who has lived here for years. I hate being denied agency and the idea that someone not even living here has the exclusive power to decide how I should live my life.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone else having had similar situations?

Reply 2

Muttley79

20

Original post by Anonymous #1

Extremely domineering. Insisting on looking over every contract I would sign. Recently struggling to look for a room in the town due to the serious housing crisis and lucky enough to be offered a room by a friend of a friend staying in a house, which I viewed thoroughly and with whom I chatted for an extended time. I did all the background check and received guarantee from my friend about her character.

Theoretically, I could have already signed a contract and moved in, but because of my dad's manner, things are still getting stuck as she is still preparing a contract that could satisfy him.

I am a 26-year old adult and my dad doesn't even live in the UK. He believes in random YouTubers more than his son who has lived here for years. I hate being denied agency and the idea that someone not even living here has the exclusive power to decide how I should live my life.

You are an adult -- ignore him.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Muttley79

You are an adult -- ignore him.

I really hate what's happening

Reply 4

ageshallnot

21

Original post by Anonymous #1

I really hate what's happening

Then DO something about it.

Reply 5

username6622642

9

I can understand where you are coming from and sometimes it not easy or even possible just to ignore it, no matter what age we never want to see a "disappoint" to our parents.
Sometimes this act of "domineering" comes from a place of deep anxiety and fear, some parents do worry that much that they end up "controlling" unintentionally (a deep rooted cause) and of course on the other end you do have some parents who have the need to control the child no matter what the age

So some words of advice:

1.

Just nod at what you dad tells you but do you own thing

2.

When it comes to contracts simply state you are living with someone instead and there is no contract in place directly for you.

3.

Do not tell you dad about any contracts or living arrangements.

Of course I say this on the assumption your dad isnt paying for it or providing you with financial support.

Reply 6

Surnia

20

If your dad doesn't even live in the UK, how is he getting sight of the contracts; you have to be sending them to him, so stop doing that? However, if he is funding the accommodation then he's entitled to see what his money is being spent on.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by undefined

If your dad doesn't even live in the UK, how is he getting sight of the contracts; you have to be sending them to him, so stop doing that? However, if he is funding the accommodation then he's entitled to see what his money is being spent on.

My mum can simply pay for it since the rent is not too expensive, but he is kind of control freak and that's why it happens

Reply 8

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous #1

My mum can simply pay for it since the rent is not too expensive, but he is kind of control freak and that's why it happens

How is he seeing the contracts, though? Why don't you just say no to him?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I simply don't understand the lack of trust in me. They simply don't believe I would spend money properly even though I spend 99% money on basic necessities. I don't travel, don't buy GUCCI, Hermes or so.

I don't like my dad's attitude

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