The Student Room Group

South Asian Male and clubbing

Disclaimer: might sound like I have insecurity issues and yes I definitely do but they don’t really consume my life so it’s all good.

Hello all!

Not sure if this is the right place but needed a bit of advice. I’m a short male (5’6), 21 years old, and am South Asian. I wouldn’t say I’m ugly but I’m not good looking either (I’m a chubby guy that was a lot better looking before).

I can make friends anywhere I go and am a very social person. When I’m at the pub, I’m able to talk to anyone and usually this is other men. I’m currently at my summer internship and have been able to automatically be friendly with everyone. University has been very easy making friends. Socially, I’m not bad at all.

Clubbing is different as I know men are looking to find someone to hook up with/get with and women are either wanting to have fun with their friends, or having a dance with strangers, or don’t mind finding a guy to get on with.

This makes it kind of harder to make friends. I always kind of stay away from women in pubs and clubs as I don’t want them to think I’m trying to get with them and then have them find me gross, etc, (not helpful for my own mental health but also don’t want to ruin their time in case they do think that). But when I’m in a small group of friends and some are girls, they can get it on with a lot of other guys.

All my guy friends are pretty much tall and could probably easily have fun with others so it kind of just leaves me. Not to mention I’m South Asian and a lot of people tend to just not like South Asian men/have negative views on them (this is only really true if you’re short. My tall South Asian friends are completely fine) so I don’t actually know how to socialise in these situations.

How do you make friends as a guy when clubbing without people thinking I’m being creepy, etc?
Just ask the girl if she wants a drink, and buy them one. If not move on and find someone new to talk to. The buying of the drink helps build a foundation to talk/dance etc.

Also I'm 6'2 south asian, chubby as well...there's no negative connotations with it, unless you choose to have them.

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