not sure if this counts as a gap year but unsure what to call it!
I did my A levels in 2021 and did well. Got to uni and I think it might have been the living completely independently that basically resulted in everything. I think I’m a massive people-pleaser (but like chronically) so living my like for me and not because I want to make someone else proud or because I’m trying to avoid disappointing someone was intense. I wasn’t looking after myself. I just didn’t have any motivation to live for myself - if I don’t eat, it doesn’t affect anyone else so why do it? If I go to lectures, no teacher is going to get angry at me for not making pretty notes. It sounds like I’m being ridiculous and attention-seeking but please try not to invalidate - I’ve learned that it’s something that happens to many others too.
For the first time in my life, I struggled with school - but not because I found it hard. That’s the most frustrating thing. Long story short, I ended up getting an ADHD diagnosis at the end of first year as well as depression and anxiety.
I did part of second year but I was still struggling with my mental health a lot so ended up withdrawing temporarily to work on my health and get treatment. The ADHD is definitely more manageable now with meds and therapy + ADHD coaching but living with my family again for the first time since I was 16 has …reminded me why I was so eager to leave at 16😂 so in some ways that’s been a bit of a nightmare - mental health wise but therapy is the current plan.
Recently realised that my previous course wasn’t what I wanted, it was what I thought I wanted because I liked how proud it made everyone feel. Currently just extended the temporary withdrawal for another year while applying via UCAS to other unis as well as waiting for the current uni to lmk if they can transfer me to a different department.
I’m doing much better overall and I’m finally excited to be studying my new subject at uni because I’ve always loved it, just never let myself see it as anything more than a personal interest in the past.
I am slightly concerned though about the fact that I’m now 21 years old applying for the first year of undergrad to start in sept. 2024. I’m technically a mature student but literally only just so where do I even fit in?
Is it weird to be surrounded by 18 year olds at 21? I’m also not experienced at life to be with the other ‘adults’ who have actually done things with their lives before returning to education.
Where do I fit in? Also can’t really drink because of ADHD meds so how on earth do I form a social life this time?
I haven’t seen anyone in a similar predicament on here so if anyone relates at all (even partly) please let me know!