I'm so sorry. Please try to remember that academics aren't the be all and end all of life -- whenever I've spent some time away from school, eg. programming during the summer, it helps me keep perspective and realise that not doing school is viable. You could take a gap year and reapply, and you could have a fun gap year doing work experience, which would be an excuse to be away from home -- if you could find the funding. I really hope it's okay, sending my very best wishes