For a couple years, I've been distancing myself from God and I haven't prayed in so long and I just don't feel like doing all of this. I still believe God exists and I made dua for my family and belive in Heaven and Hell but I just don't want to be a Muslim. Yes I understand that this necessarily isn't a good thing but hearing about death penalties for apostasy and my mum forcing religion into every conversation is so incredibly exhausting. People judge me for not wearing a hijab and so on and I have no one to talk about this. I know I most likely will go to Hell and all I can hope for is that Allah can forgive me. I don't want to pray and I don't want people to keep nagging me about being religious, I just want to have freedom and wear what I want and do what I want and not be judged for it, I desperately wish I was born in another religion or just not one at all. Please give me advice on what to do because I'm incredibly depressed and I never go out with my sister or mum because I think people will judge me for nor wearing a hijab and my mum/sister wearing one and thinking I'm stupid. I genuinely have no hope for my future because even if I go live by myself or go to uni my mum will still push me to be religious and no one I know would understand me and I just feel like ending tbh because there's no hope but I'm hoping there is and a opportunity will show. Please send some advice.