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Without biomedical scientists, doctors and hospitals would not be able to function properly; I would like to be part of the system that supports such a major organisation. This is why I feel studying biomedical sciences would be the best option for me.
My passion for the sciences and understanding the world around us and how it all works has only been enhanced by studying the subjects that I have chosen at A level, primarily biology and chemistry. Salters chemistry is a challenging course, however I find that it has increased my interest in the subject by applying itself to many aspects of real life situations, especially medicine and the production of drugs. By studying biology,. I feel that I have much better comprehension of the living organisms around us and the intricate and elegant systems that make us able to survive in the world we live in. Outside of school I like to further my scientific knowledge and keep up to date with the latest scientific news by reading journals such as New Scientist and the Student BMJ.
Studying maths at AS level has helped my approach and deal with situations in a more logical way, which is essential when wanting to study such a scientific course at university. Also studying history in depth at A Level has increased my critical thinking skills, especially when approaching sources of information and research. By studying a humanity I believe that I am offered various different perspectives that I may not have previously considered.
The modules I would be most interested in studying are psychology and neuroscience, and would be hoping to specialise in these areas either after my first year of study or after my degree. I would also be interested during the course to take on a language module. As I already speak Romanian fluently, I would love the opportunity to speak another modern language, for example, Spanish. Not only are modern languages very important, but it would also be a challenge to manage on top of my degree, however I feel that I would be able to handle it well.
This year at school I am history prefect. As prefect I try and encourage the younger years (years 7-8) to attend the lower school history club. I have also set up my own history media club for the GCSE years where we watch historically related films and discussing them, comparing them to the actual historical event. On a weekly basis I also attend a debating society available to those in the sixth form; this allows me to develop several key skills which are essential in life such as the ability to communicate clearly.
I have gained work experience in several medical environments, including ten days at Kings College Hospital in the general medical ward, working mainly with the student nurses and the health care assistants to help look after patients but also, I shadowed a consultant and observed several colonoscopies and endoscopies as well as spending a morning observing on the diabetic foot clinic.
Another hospital I went to for several days was St. Thomas’ Hospital where I was on the Lane Fox respiratory unit. There I observed several bronchoscopies, and also shadowed the technicians, learning about the equipment that was being used on the intensive care unit. In addition to this I worked at a GP surgery for a week, working with different staff, including the reception staff, the nurse and also sitting in with the doctor during sessions and going on home visits. They were all valuable experiences that led me to observe the doctor-patient relationship in hospitals and in primary care. I also noticed and observed the importance of the technicians other staff on the wards, and how the whole team worked together efficiently to maximize the recovery of the patients.
Being simultaneously interesting and diverse, biomedical sciences is a course I would love to study as it would further develop and fulfill my already inquiring mind with regard to the sciences.
Comments
General Comments:
Overall, this PS is poor. It is plagiarized in places and It doesn’t really show the impression that the applicant is aware of what a biomedical science degree involves. They also show clear interests in psychology, neuroscience, history and medicine, which would make the admissions tutors question their dedication to biomedical science. Their academic interests in biomedicine are not expanded on, nor the laboratory side of things. This should be the main focus of the PS. The academic parts that are discussed are obvious and not necessary, as they don’t set the applicant apart at all. There is no expansion on the question ‘why?’: why is this subject interesting? Everything needs to be related specifically back to biomedicine, with the exception of a small paragraph on extra-curricular activities. The wording is also verbose in many places and there are grammatical mistakes.
Comments on the statement:
Without biomedical scientists, doctors and hospitals would not be able to function properly; 'True, but this sounds a bit OTT. Instead, you should focus on why biomedical science interests you and has clearly been taken from the nhs website http://www.nhscareers.nhs.uk/explore-by-career/healthcare-science/careers-in-healthcare-science/careers-in-life-sciences/biomedical-scientists/ plagerisim could get you blacklisted from university and is not worth the risk' I would like to be part of the system that supports such a major organisation. This is why I feel studying biomedical sciences would be the best option for me. This sentence seems redundant as the applicant is just rephrasing the previous sentence. This paragraph also needs more added to it expanding on why the applicant wants to do this course from an academic point of view.
My passion over-used word in PSs for the sciences and understanding of the world around us and how it all works Wordy, could be condensed. Also, this statement is too vague. What aspect of how the world works? There is more to how the world works than medicine has only been enhanced by studying the subjects that I have chosen at A level, primarily this is unnecessary biology and chemistry. While it may help you understand things, it doesn’t automatically mean you are interested in it. The focus should be on the interest in these subjects and their relation to medicine Salters Chemistry is a challenging course, however a sentence doesn’t work well with ‘however’ in the middle I find that it has increased my interest in the subject by applying itself to many aspects of real life situations, especially medicine and the production of drugs. This needs to be more specific By studying biology, remove the full stop – proofread your PS so that it makes sense grammatically! I feel that I have much better comprehension of the living organisms around us and the intricate and elegant Choose one, you don't have that much space!systems that make allows us able to survive in the world we live in. The most important question to answer is ‘why?’. Why is this interesting? You need to be interested in it if you’re going to study it for 3 years! Outside of school, comma needed here I like to further my scientific knowledge and keep up to date with the latest scientific news The applicant is repeating themselves by reading journals such as ”New Scientist” and the ”Student BMJ”. The titles of publications should have “ around them. This should also be expanded on, to talk about articles of interest and why they are interesting. The “Student BMJ” is more aimed at doctors, so it may be good to talk about something more science-based
Studying maths at AS level not necessary has helped me approach and deal with situations in a more logical way, which is essential when wanting to study such not necessary a scientific course at university. Also, studying This word has been used a few times now, should be replaced with a synonym history in depth at A Level has increased my critical thinking skills, especially when approaching sources of information and research. By studying a humanity, comma needed here I believe that I am offered sounds too passive various different perspectives that I may not have previously considered. I’m not sure what different perspectives A Level History would add to biomedical science. Applicants often feel the need to mention all of their school subjects and say how relevant they are to their degree - they don't. The uni will be well aware that the exam syllabus of history means applicants will improve their critical thinking skills etc, they don't need to be told this as every applicant with a level history has too. Unless their school subjects are overly relevant to the degree (e.g.: coursework) then it doesn’t need to be mentioned.
The modules I would be most interested in studying are psychology and neuroscience, This begs the question ‘so why isn't the applicant doing dual honours in those?’ Also, be careful that all your chosen unis offer modules in these, otherwise they’ll wonder why you are applying to them and whether you are interested in their course and would be hoping to specialise in these areas either after my first year of study or after my degree. This doesn’t sound like the applicant knows what is involved in a biomedical science degree I would also be interested during the course to take on a language module. As I already speak Romanian fluently, I would love the opportunity to speak another modern language, for example, Spanish. Not only are modern languages very important, but it would also be a challenge to manage on top of my degree, however I feel that I would be able to handle it well. Irrelevant to biomedical science
This year at school I am history prefect. As a history prefect overly wordy I try to encourage the younger years (years 7-8) no need to be specific to attend the lower school history club. Is this all the applicant's responsibility as a history prefect? What skills has the applicant gained from this i.e. communication skills I have also set up my own history media club for the GCSE years, comma needed here where we watch historically related films and discussing them by comparing them to the actual historical event. All this talk on being a history prefect makes me wonder why they aren’t applying for a history degree! On a weekly basis, comma needed here I also attend a debating society available to those in the sixth form; not necessary this allows me to develop several key skills which are essential in life focus on why it’s important for the degree such as the ability to communicate clearly. This is overly wordy
I have work experience in several medical environments, ten days at Kings College Hospital it isn’t necessary to name the hospital in a general medical ward, working mainly with the student nurses and the health care assistants to help look after patients but also, I shadowed a consultant and observed several colonoscopies and endoscopies as well as spending a morning observing on the diabetic foot clinic. This sentence is too long. What did you learn from this related to biomedical science? [merged paragraphs – this one is too short and all similar things should be together]Another hospital I went to for several days, was St. Thomas’ Hospital where I was in the Lane Fox respiratory unit. There I observed several bronchoscopies, and also shadowed the technicians, learning about the equipment that was being used on the intensive care unit. How does this relate to biomedical sciences as opposed to medicine? What sort of tests were run? How did the ward interact with the pathology laboratory? In addition to this, comma needed here I worked at a GP surgery for a week, working with different staff, including the reception staff, the nurse and also sitting in with the doctor during sessions and going on home visits. All of this experience seems to point to the applicant wanting to study medicine, but seeing it as too competitive. The admissions tutors don’t want to be seen as ‘second choice’, so this would be best removed, or focusing on the laboratory testing side of things They were all valuable experiences that led me to observe the doctor-patient relationship in hospitals and in primary care. As a biomedical scientist you will not be involved in primary care – this is unnecessary I also noticed and observed the importance of the technicians other staff Other than who? on the wards, and how the whole team worked together efficiently to maximize the recovery of the patients. This needs more of a biomedicine spin on it.
Being simultaneously interesting and diverse, biomedical sciences is a course I would love to study as it would further develop and fulfil my already inquiring mind with regard to the sciences. This conclusion is weak and needs expanding and is rather clichéd.
