Age Gap - Are looks a factor?

This thread was partly inspired by the now somewhat infamous story about the 17 year old going out with her 46 year old driving instructor which, to say the least, provoked a bit of a reaction.

My question is this: when there is a significant age gap between two people - let's put the boundaries from, say, 18 - 23 and late thirties - 40+ - do you think the way either person looks matters? In particular, the older person in the relationship. For example, let's say there are two couples. In couple A, we have the younger person who looks their age more or less, and we have the older person, who looks really good for their age. If you didn't know them, you wouldn't class them as much older than 30 at the most.
In couple B, we have the same younger person, but the older person is visibly middle-aged, and there does look to be a large age gap between them.

After having found out their ages, would this impact on how "right"/ "wrong" it is, in your opinion? I get a little grossed out by the thought of such a big age gap like the driving instructor one, but I find it's because I'm picturing someone who's still pretty much a school girl with the typical image of an overweight, middle-aged, balding guy who looks like her father.

Your thoughts?

Reply 1

bex285

20

I definitely don't think it's as bad if the older person looks and/or acts younger. Prime example is my 36 year-old friend who is engaged to a 21 year-old. She looks and acts younger, so it doesn't seem as bad.

my best friend is nearly 27 and her other half is in his mid sixties

she looks her age more or less, and he looks maybe early fifties. Full head of hair and beard - greying.

I'm used to seeing them together so it doesn't look weird to me - no idea if it does to other people.

Reply 3

CapnHooch

10

I suppose older people are more experienced and some people want that?

Reply 4

IlexBlue

OP

2

Original post by bex285

I definitely don't think it's as bad if the older person looks and/or acts younger. Prime example is my 36 year-old friend who is engaged to a 21 year-old. She looks and acts younger, so it doesn't seem as bad.

If I'm right in thinking it's the woman that's older (that's what it sounded like) d'you think it'd be the same if roles were reversed?

One thing I've noticed is that younger girls + older guys is generally more taboo than younger guys + older girls.

Reply 5

bex285

20

Original post by IlexBlue

If I'm right in thinking it's the woman that's older (that's what it sounded like) d'you think it'd be the same if roles were reversed?

One thing I've noticed is that younger girls + older guys is generally more taboo than younger guys + older girls.

Yeah, didn't make that clear did I :p:

I definitely agree; whenever I see an older man with a younger woman I can't help but think "daddy complex", "money grabber" etc.....how very prejudiced of me :colondollar:

Reply 6

IlexBlue

OP

2

Original post by bex285

Yeah, didn't make that clear did I :p:

I definitely agree; whenever I see an older man with a younger woman I can't help but think "daddy complex", "money grabber" etc.....how very prejudiced of me :colondollar:

Haha, most people do think that tbh - at least you're honest! :tongue:

I just find it interesting, 'cause you're right - it is usually "daddy issues...!" or" gold digger" when that's the case, but it's like "LAAAAD!" if it's an attractive older woman.

The looks thing is also kind of interesting because no one thinks badly of crushing on celebrities in their mid 40s like Johnny Depp, because they're considered attractive... if it's someone not so youthful-looking it's automatically wrong.

Reply 7

bex285

20

Original post by IlexBlue

Haha, most people do think that tbh - at least you're honest! :tongue:

I just find it interesting, 'cause you're right - it is usually "daddy issues...!" or" gold digger" when that's the case, but it's like "LAAAAD!" if it's an attractive older woman.

The looks thing is also kind of interesting because no one thinks badly of crushing on celebrities in their mid 40s like Johnny Depp, because they're considered attractive... if it's someone not so youthful-looking it's automatically wrong.

SO TRUE! I have a thing for 46 year-old Rob Lowe :colondollar:

Reply 8

Law123mus

11

Doesn't matter how old or young a person looks. They are the age they are. I mean would it ok be for a girl that looks 21/22 but is 13/14 to go out with a guy that looks 21/22 but is really 35?

Reply 9

oodlesofpoodles

14

Original post by IlexBlue

If I'm right in thinking it's the woman that's older (that's what it sounded like) d'you think it'd be the same if roles were reversed?

One thing I've noticed is that younger girls + older guys is generally more taboo than younger guys + older girls.

Really? I've always thought the opposite. I think its more common to find couples where the man is older than the woman. Whenever I see an older woman with a younger man it always makes me think that he's out for something, if you get what I mean or that the woman needs to grow up.

Reply 10

xfactorfan

7

Original post by Law123mus

Doesn't matter how old or young a person looks. They are the age they are. I mean would it ok be for a girl that looks 21/22 but is 13/14 to go out with a guy that looks 21/22 but is really 35?