Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Is this a good Xmas present for my boyfriend? Or have I gone overboard?

My boyfriend and I live quite far apart but he's coming to stay with me just after Christmas for a few days and I thought I would surprise him even though we said no Christmas presents, just each other's company sort of thing.

We haven't been together for very long (couple of months) but I booked a superior room in a five star hotel, a massage, romantic dinner at a top restaurant and some nice underwear (hehe). In my head it was a great idea, but he's a bit of a "no-fuss" person (which is why we said no presents) and we haven't even been together that long and I know it sounds stupid, but I'm worried he'll be like "WHAT THE F**K?" And I'm panicking loads!

So my question is, if you're a boy (or a girl, I guess) would you be freaked out and think woah, overboard! Jesus! or would you think it was just a nice gesture?

(I don't think my boyfriend has TSR, but hope you like it if you have :wink:

)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Panda Vinnie

Although that's a great gift and I'm sure he will really enjoy it, I think he might end up feeling bad that you got him something and he didn't get you anything (which would be your fault if you're going against the no presents agreement).

Also it may be a bit much this early in the relationship, but it might go down well with him. You never know he might like it that it shows you're taking the relationship seriously or something.

I think everything you've organised would be more than usual for a couple who had agreed to exchange presents, let alone one who agreed on no presents! But it is what it is, you went with what you're happy to do and if it's your choice then go for it! Best of luck :yy:

Reply 2

NOBODY MOVE!

honestly? if it was agreed that there was to be no exchanging of gifts then i'd feel a bit crap about it... :|

Reply 3

Analbeauty

I think he'll be happy that he clearly has the best girlfriend ever.

Reply 4

Riso

It's a lovely gesture but if you'd previously agreed not to exchange gifts, then it's likely that he'll feel guilty for not getting you something. Plus it sounds like you've spent a lot, which will probably rub salt in the wound.

Great gift idea though, it sounds like he's a very lucky chap.

Reply 5

KrispyKatieKreme

He won't feel like crap when he's ****ing you in the spa room.

But you will feel like crap when he buys you a box of brownies and a bottle of peri peri sauce.

:erm:

Reply 6

silverbolt

be in the underwear first and he will surely forgive all

Reply 7

ChrisBan

I'm also a none fuss kind of guy. I'd probably be annoyed at first. But after the first minute or so I'd be looking forward to the nice underwear and events that follow on that kingsized bed :wink:

I'd probably feel bad for not getting you a present and feel under pressure to do so, so just make it totally clear you honestly 100% aren't bothered about a present!

Reply 8

Cuckoo91

I'd probably say just try be confident during the whole situation. If you appear really nervous and unsure about the whole thing he might question the purpose of such an awkward un-agreed event.
Whereas if you're generally happy and up for it, and assure him not to worry about what he got you and to just enjoy himself, then I don't see why there should be any problems.

Reply 9

FormerlyFrisbeeFan

If I was him I would feel touched, but uncomfortable because whatever I gave you (if anything at all) would not be anything like as good. And I'd be worried about if you could actually afford to spend all that money.

Reply 10

jess.

When it was Valentines Day, me and my then boyfriend said we weren't going to get each other anything and he got me a present anyway. I felt really bad that I hadn't gotten him anything but I still thought it was really sweet of him because the present had a lot of thought gone into it. So you may make him feel bad, but that doesn't mean he wont like your presents (though that is a LOT of money to spend when you said you weren't going to get anything).

Reply 11

EskimoJo

Original post by ChrisBan

I'm also a none fuss kind of guy. I'd probably be annoyed at first. But after the first minute or so I'd be looking forward to the nice underwear and events that follow on that kingsized bed :wink:

I'd probably feel bad for not getting you a present and feel under pressure to do so, so just make it totally clear you honestly 100% aren't bothered about a present!

Absolutely everything ChrisBan has said here. Except exchange guy for girl.

Reply 12

mrnightcat

I have to agree that whilst it is an absolutely wonderful present and gesture, and I'm sure he'd love you for it, it may make him uncomfortable if he's agreed with you not to get anything. If it was something smaller the impact probably wouldn't be much and would be brushed off, but whoa...all that must have cost a LOT of money. Crikey, I don't know how I could afford that given that finances can get hard enough at uni... (no offense, I'm impressed and happy for you both in fact, that's a great night coming up).

Perhaps you could make the risk of discomfort less by briefly mentioning that you "broke the rule a little bit", but reassure him in an honest and sincere tone of voice that you do not ask or want him to reciprocate (unless you want him to). No need to give away any ideas of the gift, just to let him know that there will be something waiting for him. Just my idea though.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 13

HumanNature1992

Couple of months?! Really? O_o

Reply 14

DontBuyTheSun

He won't mind when he's hanging out the back of you.

Reply 15

Jake22

I'm sure he'll like it, hell, if he doesn't I'll come with!

It may be a bit overboard in terms of cost if you haven't been together that long but as long as you are comfortable paying for it then I am sure it will be fine.

I was once in your fella's position, my girlfriend wanted to book a surprise trip away for valentine's day and even though we were living together and had been with each other a while, it still bothered me that it made my £1.99 card and petrol shop bought flowers look like total crap in comparison.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 16

HarryA

I would be quite upset that you went and did all that while all I would have done is got you a good/normal present considering the relationship has only been going for a few months.