Boyfriend checks my following list on instagram

So I (22F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21) for just over a year. I don’t follow any random guys (random or previously dated) on instagram, i have made the effort to remove all of them at some point after getting with my bf as i didnt want stuff like this to interfere with our relationship and i wanted to set boundaries. However tbh I have had a history where i have cheated once on my bf and hid it, as well as keeping contact with someone who was clearly into me, proposing days out and that was talking bad about my bf, without really thinking about what i was doing. All of these things have made my bf feel insecure and this is the reason he uses as to why he sometimes checks my following list and questions me whenever i start following another guy. Rn i only follow new guys for work, and this stalking from my boyfriend is starting to make me uncomfortable, yet I do understand where he comes from. Any opinions or tips?

Reply 1

username5955039

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I (22F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21) for just over a year. I don’t follow any random guys (random or previously dated) on instagram, i have made the effort to remove all of them at some point after getting with my bf as i didnt want stuff like this to interfere with our relationship and i wanted to set boundaries. However tbh I have had a history where i have cheated once on my bf and hid it, as well as keeping contact with someone who was clearly into me, proposing days out and that was talking bad about my bf, without really thinking about what i was doing. All of these things have made my bf feel insecure and this is the reason he uses as to why he sometimes checks my following list and questions me whenever i start following another guy. Rn i only follow new guys for work, and this stalking from my boyfriend is starting to make me uncomfortable, yet I do understand where he comes from. Any opinions or tips?

Personally no offence but you only have yourself to blame, your boyfriend cannot trust you and he has a good reason to why he shouldn’t trust you see in bold too. You have had history in the past where you go behind his back and you cheated on him? Firstly what kind of girlfriend are you? If you truly loved your so called “boyfriend” you wouldn’t do that, secondly how would you feel if he did that thirdly that goes to show you could cheat multiple times without him noticing and you’ll get away with it hence the need to check who you follow. Next you keep in contact with a boy that’s into you make your mind up it’s your boyfriend or the guy that’s into you because you’re just a player and he deserves better. Lastly you follow guys for work what do you do as a living that requires you to follow boys especially for work okay I can understand group related discussions maybe but you see the reasons to why he’s insecure. And why do you feel uncomfortable for when you’re the one to blame for not maintaining and earning his trust.

Reply 2

StriderHort

21

Possibly best breaking up. He obviously doesn't feel able to rebuild trust and that is reasonable, you keep going behind his back with other guys. Some people never seem to understand that you can't just beg for trust back, it might just be gone.

Reply 3

username5955039

21

Original post by StriderHort

Possibly best breaking up. He obviously doesn't feel able to rebuild trust and that is reasonable, you keep going behind his back with other guys. Some people never seem to understand that you can't just beg for trust back, it might just be gone.

Not might just be gone has been gone cheating behind his back, talking to a guy who may like her, working purposes that the OP yet specified.

Reply 4

zero333

4

Original post by Anonymous

So I (22F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21) for just over a year. I don’t follow any random guys (random or previously dated) on instagram, i have made the effort to remove all of them at some point after getting with my bf as i didnt want stuff like this to interfere with our relationship and i wanted to set boundaries. However tbh I have had a history where i have cheated once on my bf and hid it, as well as keeping contact with someone who was clearly into me, proposing days out and that was talking bad about my bf, without really thinking about what i was doing. All of these things have made my bf feel insecure and this is the reason he uses as to why he sometimes checks my following list and questions me whenever i start following another guy. Rn i only follow new guys for work, and this stalking from my boyfriend is starting to make me uncomfortable, yet I do understand where he comes from. Any opinions or tips?

i mean this in the nicest way possible, but this little 'discomfort' is nothing compared to the hurt and betrayal your bf probably went through. Maybe he's decided to stay with you, but he hasn't forgotten what you've done. You've hurt him more than you can imagine, and he would be quite foolish if he wasn't cautious when trusting you.

The only tip i can give you is to answer his questions, and show him that he has nothing to worry about, get over your 'discomfort' and maybe don't cheat again? or break his trust?

Reply 5

username5955039

21

Original post by zero333

i mean this in the nicest way possible, but this little 'discomfort' is nothing compared to the hurt and betrayal your bf probably went through. Maybe he's decided to stay with you, but he hasn't forgotten what you've done. You've hurt him more than you can imagine, and he would be quite foolish if he wasn't cautious when trusting you.

The only tip i can give you is to answer his questions, and show him that he has nothing to worry about, get over your 'discomfort' and maybe don't cheat again? or break his trust?