And the point
I'm making is that, although awesome, you are also a total dumbass.
I don't think you're awesome because you happen to like some of the same stuff as me (although that gains you extra bonus points), I think you're awesome because you're a strong, funny and intelligent person who I wish I knew in real life. And I'm not under any illusions about the people who post on here - I just know how to see their good side, because all of us in here have one, just mental illness tends to make us forget that. And I challenge you to find any other corner of TSR/the whole damn internet that contains such a great collection of supportive, generous and all-round fabulous people. I know mental illness can bring out the worst in people, but I've also seen that it can make you a kinder, more sympathetic and generous person, and in fact bring out the best in you too when you get together to support other people. I think I'm a much nicer person for having had depression. Doubt I'd have actually chosen the trade-off, but it happened and here I am.
Really and seriously, you need to stop hating yourself.
You are a good person. You've been given a pretty ****ty deal in terms of life events, but I do believe you're strong enough to prevail eventually. You're not destroying anybody's life, you're a positive influence in the lives of many, and if you could accept that I think it would help you in your recovery which is
totally going to happen.And I know exactly how you feel in terms of being a waste of space, cos I've been there too. However looking back, I know that I wasn't contributing much to society during that time of space wastage, but overall in my life I've been at least moderately awesome. I put it to you that the sum total of you is and will be awesome too. Especially when you take into account the many awesomenesses of Sultana's Life Yet to Come.