Rescued from a forced marriage in Pakistan

It's dreadful that "arranged" marriages still take place.

Reply 3

The_Internet

OP

20

Original post by neal95

Usually guys aren't forced into a marriage it's the girls. Haven't watched it is it good?

Guys are to . Its pretty good. Highlights some issues

Reply 4

The_Internet

OP

20

Original post by Skip_Snip

It's dreadful that "arranged" marriages still take place.

Arranged marriages aren't for me but there's nothing wrong with arranged marriages. There's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages

The documentary also talks about the law and what it means ie: 77% of people wouldn't want to incriminate their family members

Reply 5

Original post by The_Internet

Arranged marriages aren't for me but there's nothing wrong with arranged marriages. There's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages

The documentary also talks about the law and what it means ie: 77% of people wouldn't want to incriminate their family members

Sure, I've heard them compared to fix ups.

But with a fix up, there's no real expectation, it's a case of "maybe they'll hook up!" not "they should get married!"

Reply 6

moment of truth

I saw this earlier today. Forced marriage is terrible, but I don't see it stopping anytime soon. It is now a criminal offence in the UK so hopefully the amount of forced marriages in the UK goes down. I feel so bad for all the girls that are victims of this. :sad:

Reply 7

Original post by moment of truth

I saw this earlier today. Forced marriage is terrible, but I don't see it stopping anytime soon. It is now a criminal offence in the UK so hopefully the amount of forced marriages in the UK goes down. I feel so bad for all the girls that are victims of this. :sad:

so is FGM, but there's all those squillions of cases in that Birmingham (surprise) hospital, with no talk of arrests...

Reply 8

moment of truth

Original post by Skip_Snip

so is FGM, but there's all those squillions of cases in that Birmingham (surprise) hospital, with no talk of arrests...

The problem with it, which I saw in the programme, is that the girls that are being used for the forced marriages are reluctant to tell the authorities if there is a chance that their family may be put in prison for the crime.

Reply 9

Original post by moment of truth

The problem with it, which I saw in the programme, is that the girls that are being used for the forced marriages are reluctant to tell the authorities if there is a chance that their family may be put in prison for the crime.

You're probably right to be fair. But they could grow a backbone and make an empty threat.

Reply 10

Iqbal007

Original post by Skip_Snip

You're probably right to be fair. But they could grow a backbone and make an empty threat.

That's even worse, cos then they know their up to something.

They usually do a few things, particularly emotional blackmail.....the other being oh we are going on holiday, etc.
Empty threat can lead to violence or make it worse.

If their parents are serious, best way to get out is quietly without them thinking she's against it.

Reply 11

Original post by Iqbal007

Empty threat can lead to violence or make it worse.

Trying to force someone to marry against their will, and being physically violent ... they don't love their daughter. Get the ****ers arrested.

Reply 12

Veggiechic6

14

I watched this. I find it so hard to understand the mindset of people who put family 'honour' and image over the safety and wellbeing of their own flesh and blood. I heard on the programme that some parents do it because they don't want their daughter becoming too westernised. It begs the question; why on earth did they come to live in a western culture in the first place, if they don't want their children to be part of the culture all around them?

Reply 13

bittr n swt

criminalising it in the UK is a good idea but realistically, i don't think the numbers of girls complaining to the police will suddenly rise. Family is crucial and pretty much above everything in asian populations

Reply 14

Iqbal007

Original post by Skip_Snip

Trying to force someone to marry against their will, and being physically violent ... they don't love their daughter. Get the ****ers arrested.

A lot of people are unwilling to confront it.......also doesn't affect girls only,does happen to guys quite a bit as well.
Some girls are able to leave quietly with the support of other family members, etc

As long as they don't leave the country they should be safe.

Reply 15

Iqbal007

Original post by Veggiechic6

I watched this. I find it so hard to understand the mindset of people who put family 'honour' and image over the safety and wellbeing of their own flesh and blood. I heard on the programme that some parents do it because they don't want their daughter becoming too westernised. It begs the question; why on earth did they come to live in a western culture in the first place, if they don't want their children to be part of the culture all around them?

I have heard that.............but the bigger reasons I think is this whole "but what will they think", it's all about how others will perceive them back home rather than doing the right thing. The next issue after that is also related to the first reason I gave which is ""other family", this emotional blackmail and family blackmail and parents get caught up into it and do the marriage to the relative thing.

Reply 16

Veggiechic6

14

Original post by Iqbal007

I have heard that.............but the bigger reasons I think is this whole "but what will they think", it's all about how others will perceive them back home rather than doing the right thing. The next issue after that is also related to the first reason I gave which is ""other family", this emotional blackmail and family blackmail and parents get caught up into it and do the marriage to the relative thing.

Well, if a parent's unconditional love for their daughter can't overcome all these issues, it's a very sorry state of affairs indeed. I also would have thought that in these families, most likely the mother would have also had a forced marriage when she was younger. You'd think she'd empathize and do what it took to stop her daughter going through the same experience. As an outsider looking in, I find it very hard to understand, it's at odds with my understanding of love and family.

Reply 17

matthewduncan

12

its their culture and their women its not my business as far as im concerned

Reply 18