I don't wish to have an arrange marriage

I'm nearly 34 and they chose me last on the list.

My sister's friend is very selfish and without asking me intelligent questions, they say "why not her"

I could just say no and don't care

They will argue, because she's 33, needs to get married off, find someone suitable

They will say I don't have a gf and this, that, I need to get a women when I have (which they don't know)

Then say show us then

I don't want to marry her

What can I do here?

Reply 1

Andi.0k

14

Original post by Anonymous

I'm nearly 34 and they chose me last on the list.

My sister's friend is very selfish and without asking me intelligent questions, they say "why not her"

I could just say no and don't care

They will argue, because she's 33, needs to get married off, find someone suitable

They will say I don't have a gf and this, that, I need to get a women when I have (which they don't know)

Then say show us then

I don't want to marry her

What can I do here?

You're a grown adult. Yeah peer pressure sucks but you should be fully independent and able to say no to your parents. Try to explain why you don't want to get married and if that doesn't work then just don't. If you're in the UK there are charities for forced marriage victims but these are for people who were young not adults.

Reply 2

Kschu

12

Original post by Anonymous

What can I do here?

They can’t really force you to marry anyone so I suggest you give them a stern NO not interested. They can argue all they want, you have the final say.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Think you answered your own question there.

Just say no, and that’s it. Whatever they might say is up to them, just ignore it. Clearly nothing better to do if they’re so focussed on your life.

Marry someone on other people say so is not a good idea, ever. For either of you. You’ll just end up waiting each others time, probably resenting each other and potentially divorcing or staying married for the sake of it. If you would then have kids then you’ll just be screwing them over by having two parents who basically hate each other.

Related, if you’re with someone and don’t want to marry them, I’m guessing you don’t see it going anywhere, so surely a waste of time too for you? Also, if you’re not serious about them and you’re having arguments with your family already about marriage, maybe stop bring them up unless you actually do intend to marry them. Saves that extra bit of headache on both side.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I'm nearly 34 and they chose me last on the list.

My sister's friend is very selfish and without asking me intelligent questions, they say "why not her"

I could just say no and don't care

They will argue, because she's 33, needs to get married off, find someone suitable

They will say I don't have a gf and this, that, I need to get a women when I have (which they don't know)

Then say show us then

I don't want to marry her

What can I do here?

If you are in a country where this is illegal to force a marriage, tell them no, move out. If they try to force you call police