Forced to wear Pakistani clothes in a western country
I’m 14 years old and my older sister is nearly 17 and for most our life we have been locked in our house with no freedom ever since we turned about 10 we are not allowed to go out. our house is really small 2 bedroom house for 8 people and we stay home cleaning all day or taking care of the baby and other siblings while kids our age are out with friends having fun . when we do go out to like the park we have to go with our parents and are forced to wear a hijab and south Asian clothing it’s so embarrassing because every other kid wears jeans and t shirts and other normal clothes . My parents are extemely traditional saying girls should stay home and clean while boys can go out and wear what they want.
Content warning: mention of family member with suicidal thoughts / s/h
Right now she goes to 6 form and complains about what she is forced to wear , my parents swear at her and say she is trying to impress boys and is being a **** , they also threaten to take away her education and get her married off in Pakistan. my mother says she wants us to die and says she hates the day we were born she also says she is embarrassed to have ugly daughters like us and before anyone says that I should tell family , I can’t because my whole family lives in Pakistan . I can’t take it anymore I want to run far away .
Content warning: mention of family member with suicidal thoughts / s/h
Spoiler
Right now she goes to 6 form and complains about what she is forced to wear , my parents swear at her and say she is trying to impress boys and is being a **** , they also threaten to take away her education and get her married off in Pakistan. my mother says she wants us to die and says she hates the day we were born she also says she is embarrassed to have ugly daughters like us and before anyone says that I should tell family , I can’t because my whole family lives in Pakistan . I can’t take it anymore I want to run far away .
I understand some of how your feel. 
I grew up in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable adults who never left me alone or allow me any privacy.
I'm not asian or religious.
My mother is very violent, for the rest of my life I will be wearing layers of heavy makeup to cover up the injuries from my childhood and early life when living with parents.
Are you living in England or another part of the UK?
If you live in England, there are several specialist charities with a lot of experience in providing free confidential advice and practical support to people suffering domestic abuse via controlling & coercive behaviour and those at risk of violent honour abuse or forced marriage.
The most experienced charities are Karma Nirvana and Savera UK.
Karma Nirvana can be contacted via website, email or telephone.
Email address is [email protected] and the phone number is 0800 5999 247, (phone line open Mon to Fri 9am-5pm).
Website is here - https://karmanirvana.org.uk.
Savera UK's phone number is 0800 107 0726 (10am- 4pm, Monday to Friday).
Their website is here
If you are based in Scotland, the best charity to contact is Hemat Gryffe.
Their website is here.
Always put your health and safety first.
Trust your gut instinct.
Never lose hope of gaining your freedom.
Plan how to build the happy future life that you want.
Try to maintain a positive mindset based on your ambitions and focus on finding coping strategies that help you while you have to live with horrid relatives.
Remember that while you are in the UK you have all the same legal rights as every other person your age in the uk- no matter how many lies or threats your relatives bombard you with.
Make sure that your older sister knows this too.
Stay strong and take care of yourself.
I grew up in a toxic and controlling household, surrounded by unreasonable adults who never left me alone or allow me any privacy.
I'm not asian or religious.
My mother is very violent, for the rest of my life I will be wearing layers of heavy makeup to cover up the injuries from my childhood and early life when living with parents.
Are you living in England or another part of the UK?
If you live in England, there are several specialist charities with a lot of experience in providing free confidential advice and practical support to people suffering domestic abuse via controlling & coercive behaviour and those at risk of violent honour abuse or forced marriage.
The most experienced charities are Karma Nirvana and Savera UK.
Karma Nirvana can be contacted via website, email or telephone.
Email address is [email protected] and the phone number is 0800 5999 247, (phone line open Mon to Fri 9am-5pm).
Website is here - https://karmanirvana.org.uk.
Savera UK's phone number is 0800 107 0726 (10am- 4pm, Monday to Friday).
Their website is here
If you are based in Scotland, the best charity to contact is Hemat Gryffe.
Their website is here.
Always put your health and safety first.
Trust your gut instinct.
Never lose hope of gaining your freedom.
Plan how to build the happy future life that you want.
Try to maintain a positive mindset based on your ambitions and focus on finding coping strategies that help you while you have to live with horrid relatives.
Remember that while you are in the UK you have all the same legal rights as every other person your age in the uk- no matter how many lies or threats your relatives bombard you with.
Make sure that your older sister knows this too.
Stay strong and take care of yourself.
Original post by Haaaaaaaaa
I’m 14 years old and my older sister is nearly 17 and for most our life we have been locked in our house with no freedom ever since we turned about 10 we are not allowed to go out. our house is really small 2 bedroom house for 8 people and we stay home cleaning all day or taking care of the baby and other siblings while kids our age are out with friends having fun . when we do go out to like the park we have to go with our parents and are forced to wear a hijab and south Asian clothing it’s so embarrassing because every other kid wears jeans and t shirts and other normal clothes . My parents are extemely traditional saying girls should stay home and clean while boys can go out and wear what they want.
Content warning: mention of family member with suicidal thoughts / s/h
Right now she goes to 6 form and complains about what she is forced to wear , my parents swear at her and say she is trying to impress boys and is being a **** , they also threaten to take away her education and get her married off in Pakistan. my mother says she wants us to die and says she hates the day we were born she also says she is embarrassed to have ugly daughters like us and before anyone says that I should tell family , I can’t because my whole family lives in Pakistan . I can’t take it anymore I want to run far away .
Content warning: mention of family member with suicidal thoughts / s/h
Spoiler
Right now she goes to 6 form and complains about what she is forced to wear , my parents swear at her and say she is trying to impress boys and is being a **** , they also threaten to take away her education and get her married off in Pakistan. my mother says she wants us to die and says she hates the day we were born she also says she is embarrassed to have ugly daughters like us and before anyone says that I should tell family , I can’t because my whole family lives in Pakistan . I can’t take it anymore I want to run far away .
Hi,
Sorry you are going through this.
Just reaching out to you as I wanted to let you know there is support available out there that may be of use:
- NSPCC
Please call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected]. Please note that you still have the option to request anonymity via call or emails.
- Childline
Childline is free to contact on 0800 1111. Childline counsellors are here to take calls 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from children and young people under 19. Childline counsellors are also available to speak to online through 1-2-1 chat and via email.
- Refuge - Anyone, domestic violence
Website: https://www.refuge.org.uk
- Relate - Anyone, relationship support,
Tel: 0300 0030 396 (need to book appointment for counselling)
Live chat: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationsh...hat-counsellor
Website: https://www.relate.org.uk
Hope you find this useful and please come into ATCS if you have any further questions.
Please look after yourself
Best wishes,
TSR Support
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