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marriage

Hi, I am Sara and I am originally from Pakistan, and I would like to ask a question. I am not really religious, but I grew up in a very conservative family and society. And I am virgin and a respectful person due the conservative Pakistani society. As we all know, Pakistani society is very patriarchal, and I am unable to get along with the mindset of people over here. It's really hard to have a healthy family over here. Are foreigners interested in marrying girls from Pakistan and respecting them as their soul mates. Thank you
course, were all humans at the end of the day
Hi Sara,
I am Pakistani, and have been living in the UK since I was born.
A lot of my friends have married girls from back home and truly do love them so I believe it is definitely possible, however, within some of my family friends and relative families, I have found it is quite disliked and they do not treat these girls properly.
You should just be careful and see what the family is like.
You mention you are not fairly religious, which I understand but maybe look into praying when making such decisions!
Yes, many British guys who date secular asian women are open to marriage with secular women born in Pakistan.
Almost all of my secular female friends born in Pakistan are married to non-religious uk based asian or caucasian guys whose families do not have any ties to Pakistan.
Good luck!
Reply 4
Original post by londonmyst
Yes, many British guys who date secular asian women are open to marriage with secular women born in Pakistan.
Almost all of my secular female friends born in Pakistan are married to non-religious uk based asian or caucasian guys whose families do not have any ties to Pakistan.
Good luck!

Thank you for your response. How did they find those guys and how did they settle? Were they raised in UK or they were typically from Pakistan?
Its perfectly fine. Guys have nothing against it. Some even like it. (I tend not be attracted to promiscuous people in general, for instance).

However you should be careful about guys who do not reciprocate the same values as you, but who pretend that they do. Some men know that women from that part of the world tend to be more 'conservative', 'submissive', 'monogamous' or however else people like to describe it, and target those women because they want to exploit those traits of theirs, whilst those men feel entitled to flirt with and hookup with other women.

Equally (though less frequently), there are some women who target men in a similar way. I had a minor row with one of them on this forum few months ago. Some of them have an 'awakening' around their 30s and decide overnight that they want a 'serious partner' despite not demonstrating almost any of the same traits that they expect of the other person. Such a lifestyle change takes time & investment, and is something which these sorts of people rarely have the patience for or commitment to accomplish. Instead they want to 'snap their fingers' at the age of 30 and latch onto another person who has accomplished what they themselves failed to. It is parasitic.

If you are someone who desires a monogamous relationship, you should expect any man whose in a relationship with you to behave the same way. Don't ever compromise or listen to someone's excuses if you end up a relationship with a guy who feels entitled to a monogamous woman, but wants to flirt & hook up with other women. Just leave.

And use your common sense: a person's past choices are reflective of their values, regardless of what some people will tell you. If someone has a track record of partying and hooking up all over the place, it likely says something about them. It is not 'irrelevant' either for men or women. Most of the people I've known who were obviously promiscuous had quite 'flexible' morals, and for instance saw little wrong with bulsh*tting their way into someone's bedroom (usually for men), or bullsh*tting people into buying them a free dinner or free drinks on a night out (usually for women). People can grow out of this mindset and lifestyle, sure, but like I already said it takes time and is not a 'snap of the fingers'. Entering into a serious relationship with someone like this is dangerous: they are not trustworthy. If you lent someone £5 and they didn't return it, would you lend them £500 and trust them to return it? No.

I probably answered more than you asked for. UK 'dating culture' and relationships work very differently to Pakistan. It is a lot more liberal, and its worth being aware of its downsides. The upside is of course, you are usually free to leave abusive / exploitative relationships with people like this, or avoid people like this altogether, unlike in some parts of the world.
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by kiara2020
Thank you for your response. How did they find those guys and how did they settle? Were they raised in UK or they were typically from Pakistan?

Most met at work or uni, at conferences or on holidays.
Most of the women were born in Pakistan and raised in England or Scotland, a few born & raised in London or Essex.
Original post by kiara2020
Hi, I am Sara and I am originally from Pakistan, and I would like to ask a question. I am not really religious, but I grew up in a very conservative family and society. And I am virgin and a respectful person due the conservative Pakistani society. As we all know, Pakistani society is very patriarchal, and I am unable to get along with the mindset of people over here. It's really hard to have a healthy family over here. Are foreigners interested in marrying girls from Pakistan and respecting them as their soul mates. Thank you

Thank god someone else has noticed and not a dude as well. I'm a white English guy and society over here is a mess. A result of white women here trying to slice it and dice it another way to try and get more for themselves I'm afraid. The results as you've noticed are some what less than stellar.

The result is really stable relationships hard to find. Lots of women wanting it all or wanting to jettison the man after him getting her pregnant and going it alone herself. I personally think we're going to be in a real bad place when all those single parent kids grow up in a decade or so's time.

I'm not sure from your question though who you wish to meet when you state foreigners?
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Thank god someone else has noticed and not a dude as well. I'm a white English guy and society over here is a mess. A result of white women here trying to slice it and dice it another way to try and get more for themselves I'm afraid. The results as you've noticed are some what less than stellar.

The result is really stable relationships hard to find. Lots of women wanting it all or wanting to jettison the man after him getting her pregnant and going it alone herself. I personally think we're going to be in a real bad place when all those single parent kids grow up in a decade or so's time.

I'm not sure from your question though who you wish to meet when you state foreigners?

Hello, I will try to explain . All I am trying to say women are usually kept hidden , people mostly are conservative from this part of world .During adulthood when these girls start going to school for education . While receiving education, they start questioning themselves and start thinking freely , like any other girl.They tend to realize how backward the society is, and acknowledge the injustice . Some even leave Religion or become secular .With the help of education they figure out rights and wrongs of Islamic society, after getting liberated , they finally understand women's freedom and the injustice towards women . The whole world knows Pakistani society is extremely patriarchal, They want to leave the society and marry a less conservative and liberal guy, but they respect the norms and family values , they understand how a house wife should be. They tend to stay virgin till marriage . it's just that they are no longer into Pakistani men , and a society where equal rights are impossible to achieve is a big turn off . A extremely patriarchal male dominant society, where a male is given all rights , scares them . Everyone live once . All they want is less conservative , respectful and appreciating partner but from western part of world . And they are more into democracy and western society. Attracted towards respectful white men. Thank you
(edited 9 months ago)
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Thank god someone else has noticed and not a dude as well. I'm a white English guy and society over here is a mess. A result of white women here trying to slice it and dice it another way to try and get more for themselves I'm afraid. The results as you've noticed are some what less than stellar.

The result is really stable relationships hard to find. Lots of women wanting it all or wanting to jettison the man after him getting her pregnant and going it alone herself. I personally think we're going to be in a real bad place when all those single parent kids grow up in a decade or so's time.

I'm not sure from your question though who you wish to meet when you state foreigners?

Hello, I will try to explain, All I am trying to say women are usually kept hidden , people mostly are conservative from this part of world .During adulthood when we girls start going to school for education . While receiving education, we start questioning themselves and start thinking freely , like any other girl.We tend to realize how backward the society is, and acknowledge the injustice . Some even leave Religion or become secular .With the help of education they figure out rights and wrongs of Islamic society, after getting liberated , We finally understand women's freedom and the injustice towards women . The whole world knows Pakistani society is extremely patriarchal, They want to leave the society and marry a less conservative and liberal guy, but they respect the norms and family values , they understand how a house wife should be. They tend to stay virgin till marriage . it's just that they are no longer into Pakistani men , and a society where equal rights are impossible to achieve is a big turn off . A extremely patriarchal male dominant society, where a male is given all rights , scares them . Everyone live once . All they want is less conservative , respectful and appreciating partner but from western part of world . Thank you
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by kiara2020
Hello, I will try to explain, All I am trying to say women are usually kept hidden , people mostly are conservative from this part of world .During adulthood when we girls start going to school for education . While receiving education, we start questioning themselves and start thinking freely , like any other girl.We tend to realize how backward the society is, and acknowledge the injustice . Some even leave Religion or become secular .With the help of education they figure out rights and wrongs of Islamic society, after getting liberated , We finally understand women's freedom and the injustice towards women . The whole world knows Pakistani society is extremely patriarchal, They want to leave the society and marry a less conservative and liberal guy, but they respect the norms and family values , they understand how a house wife should be. They tend to stay virgin till marriage . it's just that they are no longer into Pakistani men , and a society where equal rights are impossible to achieve is a big turn off . A extremely patriarchal male dominant society, where a male is given all rights , scares them . Everyone live once . All they want is less conservative , respectful and appreciating partner but from western part of world . Thank you

What type of person are you looking for?

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