I ****ed up my GCSE English retake and now I am lost

I had the exam a few weeks ago. It was horrible, I know I failed. I needed 34 marks to get a C because of the coursework. I ****ed up on the speaking and listening which is why it is so high. Next year will be much harder for everyone, all exams, straight and if I fail I will have to 3 years worth of work in to 1. I dont think I will be able to do that. The only other subject I am doing which is not that bad is BTEC L3 engineering. I did revise and practice a lot for the exam but the exam was just too hard. I didnt understand the text and I ended up feeling light headed. I am useless at everything. It was hard for me to get motivated to revise and practice. At the start when we were just doing course works and I skipped lessons because I didnt feel motivated. But I managed to get through it and finished all my course works on time. Then it was the speaking and listening exam. I did something about fighter jets and I got a very low mark. One of the few people who did really bad and it was on the board and anyone can see it. I have no passion no motivation. I am useless at everything. I am really stupid , bad at sports, ugly and short. I have no job and where the **** will they employ a retard. I dont do any extra-curriculum activities. No university will accept me because I failed english like I can even afford university anyway not to mention the BTEC Engineering is just course work, we dont learn ****. It will be too hard for me to do it in university anyway. I dont even know what type of engineering I wanna do. I cant do apprenticeship because again they need a c in english otherwise it is going to be a crappy one which I wont get far in. Im useless and theres nothing that I can do in this ****ing world. There is nothing I am good at.
I know no one is going to be reading this like the other post I made before the exam but no one still havent responded to it. Thank you if you read it though, I am truely lost and theres nothing I can do. oh and I am also socially akward so I cant do sales picking up calls I tried I failed.

You do a good job in putting yourself down. If you failed, then take it again and dont skip lessons. If you are weak, then do extra study so you become strong. Surely all the motivation you need is that you nee the qualification to move forward? When you start improving slowly then you will be encouraged.

The thing is next year it will be very different. They are going to be doing exams straight, and I will have to write stories and other crap that I definitely wont be able to do. It was the last year for this exam.

This is where skipping lessons get you! May be fun to skip the lesson, but the consequences are not fun at all! I'm sorry to hear about this OP, but this could've been evaded if you actually turned up to your lessons and studied!

However, take it as a life lesson; you only learn from your mistakes!

I only skipped lessons when we were doing coursework. I was ahead of most the people in my class so the teacher took it slow. By the rules he is only allowed to mark it once and then we are allowed to improve on it. I had already done that with all of my 3 course works. They were still on their second. And like I said the only reason I FAILED IS BECAUSE OF SPEAKING AND LISTENING WHICH I OBVIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. The real exam was hard because I found it hard to understand the text. It was really messed up and a lot of other people had thought the same. But they didn't need 34/50 they only needed 25 and some 15-19. They did well on the speaking and listening which didn't make sense at all. I did revise a lot. It was the first time doing that paper because last year I did another exam board. I was also ahead in my engineering class. I was revising so much on English that I fell behind and now people are like two units ahead. I managed to catch up afterwards anyway.

Still, skipping lessons should never be justified if you actually WANTED to do well. This may have all been avoided if you actually turned up to lessons, as I said...