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English Language (9-1) Creative Writing Examples!

Reply 60

ehsan7855

4

Original post by Balkaran

Rate my story haseeb has already rated it on a different post but I want some other opinions as well.

who used this and adpated it for there exam?

Reply 61

distination

1

Original post by haseeb_jarral

Hi, all!
I thought it would be a good idea to have one place where you could find examples of the big 40 marker on paper 1 - creative writing.
Feel free to include your own examples (I've added one too :smile:

).

DRUGS (can you analyse this and give me adive on how i can improve on my creative writing pretty please)
The euphoric sensation of being overdosed by the bittersweet taste of the harmonious painful past. Reminiscences sluggishly swallowed by one huge gulp. Everything vanishes. No pain, no recollection, no drama.
Inhale. Exhale. A quick solitary breathe can really flash a life time of regrets.
‘Who, what, where am I?’, never becomes old news to him. He was set in autopilot. He was continuously in retrograde mode. Sad memories become happy memories, happy memories into sad memories.
Nothing matters now anyhow.
Wandering with the possibilities; an endless dream in constant replay. Who was continuously stuck in his own trap of his pretend world, never wanting to leave, became his medication nevertheless alike all medication there were at all times side-effects. His body was reaching it limits, terminating him to the bones and skin decomposing his inside and outside thoroughly. The once shiny, beautiful, flaxen brown smooth hair were now a darker greasy shade and had dandruff that could be mistaken for snowflakes. His long-ago skin was the colour of sweet caramel however left with no traces, instead was met with a sickly pale bland colorization. The white pearly teeth became washed away from the smoking instead of mouth wash alcohol rinsed his foul mouth, ultimately failing to hide yesterday’s drunken battle with depression.
He built a wall so high that it had no boundaries an illusion for he was too low to even try to be set an apart, it was mockery to even being with. An obvious disguise hidden right in front of their eyes. Yet no one took the time to notice that his walls were crumbling down like heavy snowfall, just like poorly constructed clay and dirt that had hundreds- no millions of cracks, a clear invisible message crying out for help in bold font exclamation marks.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 62

mtawafi

14

Thank you sooo much, you inspired me to write a story at 3 AM and that is the one I used in the exam today, I was really happy with it...Thanks again and you should keep writing FR! Your stories really drew me in like an actual book

Reply 63

Seni007

13

Original post by distination

DRUGS (can you analyse this and give me adive on how i can improve on my creative writing pretty please)
The euphoric sensation of being overdosed by the bittersweet taste of the harmonious painful past. Reminiscences sluggishly swallowed by one huge gulp. Everything vanishes. No pain, no recollection, no drama.
Inhale. Exhale. A quick solitary breathe can really flash a life time of regrets.
‘Who, what, where am I?’, never becomes old news to him. He was set in autopilot. He was continuously in retrograde mode. Sad memories become happy memories, happy memories into sad memories.
Nothing matters now anyhow.
Wandering with the possibilities; an endless dream in constant replay. Who was continuously stuck in his own trap of his pretend world, never wanting to leave, became his medication nevertheless alike all medication there were at all times side-effects. His body was reaching it limits, terminating him to the bones and skin decomposing his inside and outside thoroughly. The once shiny, beautiful, flaxen brown smooth hair were now a darker greasy shade and had dandruff that could be mistaken for snowflakes. His long-ago skin was the colour of sweet caramel however left with no traces, instead was met with a sickly pale bland colorization. The white pearly teeth became washed away from the smoking instead of mouth wash alcohol rinsed his foul mouth, ultimately failing to hide yesterday’s drunken battle with depression.
He built a wall so high that it had no boundaries an illusion for he was too low to even try to be set an apart, it was mockery to even being with. An obvious disguise hidden right in front of their eyes. Yet no one took the time to notice that his walls were crumbling down like heavy snowfall, just like poorly constructed clay and dirt that had hundreds- no millions of cracks, a clear invisible message crying out for help in bold font exclamation marks.

Ive been doing research, and examiners do not like stories that have to do with drug abuse. Im not saying its bad, its amazing, but im just dropping it here (they also do not like murder, rape, teen pregnancy,fairytales dream endigs and a few more)

Reply 64

miquitafrompe

2

has anyone got any essays about anything other than the weather which would be good examples of question 5 40 mark essays for paper one lang cheers lol x

Reply 65

kaitlyn181

1

its really good btw :smile:

Reply 66

KingE21

1

I can't even start to talk about how AMAZING u are. How did you learn to write like that?? I literally wish that you wrote books. Hve you ever considered it?!

Reply 67

phico

1

hey any long storiezs and tips to write so creatively with such a fluent and facinating style

Reply 68

Tolgash

21

Original post by miquitafrompe

has anyone got any essays about anything other than the weather which would be good examples of question 5 40 mark essays for paper one lang cheers lol x

Yes, I do. If you want it, message me because I have a hell of a time uploading any files on TSR. I have a creative writing piece from a mock paper that I did which achieved full-marks for both AOs in writing. It was with Edexcel though (if that makes a difference).

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 69

phico

1

Original post by Tolgarda

Yes, I do. If you want it, message me because I have a hell of a time uploading any files on TSR. I have a creative writing piece from a mock-paper that I did which achieved full-marks for both AOs in writing. It was with Edexcel though (if that makes a difference).

i want them please email me i have edxcel igcse paper in jan

Reply 70

Tolgash

21

Original post by phico

i want them please email me i have edxcel igcse paper in jan

First, you have to DM me. Secondly, I'm not sure if my GCSE exemplars would be very helpful for IGCSE.

Reply 71

darrencoxon

12

have a look here: http://examinershead.com/gcse/section-b-aqa-english-language-how-to-take-a-boring-photo-and-write-an-interesting-response/

may help!

Reply 72

Ruzivo Gwata

5

Write The Opening About A Place During A Storm:

The heavens opened up like curtains at a Broadway show before the big reveal. Needles of rain plummeted onto the hard rock surface of the earth. The trees grew more and more depressed as bullets of rain shot their branches. Flickers of white light swiftly invaded the sky before disappearing as fast as it had come. The heaven’s crying dragged on, until eventually a puddle of tears rolled down her face. The tarmacked roads were wet with her liquid. Cars skidded across the road like skaters on an ice-rink. The towering buildings frowned as a cold eerie wind sailed triumphantly through the air. Street lamps flickered wildly as traffic lights started to malfunction. Then a pitch black blanket sheathed the sky. No clouds floated in the air. No drops of rain were present anymore. Nothing seemed to be happening except for the vile movement of the wind. It continued to caress buildings perversely and plant its sinister kisses on her smooth walls. Silence was broken by the thundering roar that stemmed from the heavens. A roar so fierce it pierced deeply into the ears of the citizens. It’s ear-splitting, menacing, aching roar echoed throughout the city. Buildings started to draw into themselves like frightened cats upon hearing a loud racquet. Once proud, tall, confident buildings began to shudder. Their windows tried to rebel against the menacing wind but their fight was in vain- soon their crystal-clear glass broke into thousands of shards. The wind started to hiss violently as it strengthened its clutch on the sleepless city, and with every movement of the wind its hiss became more and more sinister. People fled from their cars as they witnessed a wave of dust rise high and mighty into the air before bashing blindly against the bumpers of their beloved vehicles. Civilians covered their mouths, eyes, ears, nostrils. The storm continued to display its sinister dance. It continued to grow fierce like a forest fire. It made a mockery of the once steady, strong, statues scattered across the city. The storm left his evidence everyone, almost as though he wanted the people of the town to know who did it. Who caused this outrageous carnage, destruction. He wanted to sow his seed of fear and terror in them- and so he did. Eventually the storm faded into oblivion and left the face of the town open and bruised like an apple left in the open unattended to for far too long.

Reply 73

Ruzivo Gwata

5

Original post by phico

hey any long storiezs and tips to write so creatively with such a fluent and facinating style

I sent one at the bottom of the thread. Check it out and I shall send another one in a few more minutes.

Reply 74

Ruzivo Gwata

5

Original post by phico

hey any long storiezs and tips to write so creatively with such a fluent and facinating style

No way to really say it so here read this instead.Reading helps lol

Create A Sense Of Character And Motivation:

There was nothing that was going to stand in his way. Day after day. Night after Night. Thomas trained his soul out, nothing was going to distract him from the victory line he had drawn for himself since a mere child. His mind was always focused and his spirit never wavered in times of adversity. He pressed on like a warrior no matter what was thrown at him, it came to the extent that he would often sever ties with friends in order to concentrate on reaching the other side- the side of glory. Thomas was an athlete, a very dedicated athlete. Rumours circulated throughout the city that he was doping but it turned out to be false. He was merely a machine when it came to sprinting. Some said he trained for hours without a single break; others said he did not need to train at all. Everyone seemed to have his name in their mouths. From the local doctor to the farmer at the edge of his small town. People often said he was doing it all for one thing and one thing only- money. Word spread around the town of how Thomas stemmed from a poor ragged family. He was the child of a single mother who was hardly ever home, she spent her nights in the local tavern with a group of strangers playing poker- Well that’s what was said. When Thomas came bolting across the street in the middle of a sizzling summer afternoon heads turned. His eyes stayed lock ahead and only ahead. Pedestrians watched in amazement as the young athlete jolted through the streets like a bolt of lightning. Thomas was so extreme he challenged drivers, random pedestrians, and even little eager kids to race him. His passion grew with each race. He was like a bottle of wine- he only got better with time.
[justify]But when fall came Thomas vanished without a trace. Until one day a local news reporter went to his house to garner an interesting story for her television show dubbed ‘Athletes of tomorrow’. Thomas was home bashing the bruised punching bag that hung from his chipped roof. Then he skipped rope immediately after his set with bag, then he transitioned into doing push-ups. His adrenaline levels were off the charts. In all that time he didn’t even notice a whole camera crew was observing him in awe, their mouths fell to the floor like loose jeans when they saw him speed on the treadmill. He moved elegantly yet so swiftly. Then they all stopped to stare at the enormous colourful portrait that hung high and centre on his gym wall a few metres beyond him. It was the only thing that was priceless in the home. His bedroom was crooked, most of the house’s walls were chipped and cracked and bleeding with old foul looking paint. [/justify]
[justify]“Excuse me, is that your mother?” Shouted a camera-man[/justify]
[justify]Thomas stopped the treadmill before locking his gaze on the man. Silence entered the room as Thomas continued to stare at him with a blank expression. “ 1923.” Thomas said sternly.[/justify]
[justify]The camera-man listened attentively whilst he readied his camera. Thomas paused his monologue to stare at the portrait.” She’s the reason I do this.” He said, ” It’s always been for her.” He continues. Then abruptly he slams the ‘on’ button of the treadmill before hopping onto it once more. This time he made sure the settings are higher than before. He eases himself into the new speed effortlessly, then he puts his ego on full display. He started rolling his shoulders back and forth then gave a gesture to convey what he’s doing is not even a challenge to him. The camera-crew smile and cheer like a group of drunken upon seeing this display of showboating. Thomas cocked his head up at the portrait once more but this time he stayed staring at it with brooding eyes. The longer he stared the more he picked up the pace. “There’s only one way to the top.” He said boldly,” hard work and dedication.” He continued.[/justify]
[justify]The cameramen’s ears perked up when he said this and their lenses zoomed in his now sweating back.[/justify]
“Name’s Thomas. Thomas Green, make sure to remember the name.” He said

ps I don't know why it's saying Justify everywhere. Ignore that

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 75

Rockyd123

9

Rebecca, your short piece is outstanding; it reads like a published novel. I would personally say it is the best composition in this thread. Haseeb, yours was equally sophisticated; however just some advice that as a narrative, you are not only marked on description, but also plot development and characterisation. Whilst your piece was great on the descriptive side, it slightly lacked in some of the other areas. You can view the CIE 2019 mark scheme here: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=2ahUKEwic5bSo1PfeAhVrDsAKHR7cBMAQFjABegQICBAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cambridgeinternational.org%2FImages%2F360831-2019-specimen-paper-3-markscheme.pdf&usg=AOvVaw3yt8xFsKF7BMrwQmk6KU_u

Reply 76

Tolgash

21

Original post by Rockyd123

Rebecca, your short piece is outstanding; it reads like a published novel. I would personally say it is the best composition in this thread. Haseeb, yours was equally sophisticated; however just some advice that as a narrative, you are not only marked on description, but also plot development and characterisation. Whilst your piece was great on the descriptive side, it slightly lacked in some of the other areas. You can view the CIE 2019 mark scheme here: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=2ahUKEwic5bSo1PfeAhVrDsAKHR7cBMAQFjABegQICBAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cambridgeinternational.org%2FImages%2F360831-2019-specimen-paper-3-markscheme.pdf&usg=AOvVaw3yt8xFsKF7BMrwQmk6KU_u

Are you an examiner?

agree

Original post by haseeb_jarral

Sorry for leaving this late ...

Based on what my English teacher taught us b4, it's recommended to use 'two' instead of 2. He says u get marked down because of that. Still, nice sensory description thou!