I suffer from BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), AMA

No I cannot, I only feel okay with myself for a period after I've had cosmetic procedures performed.

If I look bad to myself in the mirror, I legitimately feel DIRTY no matter how clean I am. Like how you might feel leaving the house without having showered in a week with gross unkempt hair and not shaved. Exact same feeling. I'm legitimately uncomfortable to be out in public.

Then I get more procedures to fix the thing which is making me feel dirty (which might be, for example, a slope on my nose).

Sometimes I enjoy the way I look after having stuff done to myself, then feel good about my looks for a while. Although it's very shakey and if, for example, even one girl is not interested in me, I may melt down and think I'm deformed again. I may also melt down if I see a guy who looks better than me, be it in real life, or sometimes even on TV comparing myself to them.

Thanks for the reply.

How has it affected relationships? Romantic ones I mean.

I have BDD and severe OCD and it got worse with my boyfriend throughout our relationship. It was tough at first (arguments), but I found explaining my thought processes in general about myself / explaining how I can't control myself during a panic attack really helps. He has been SO supportive to understand and know what is best for the certain situation.

Although - If i was single now (as it has worsened) god knows how I would ever get into dating or begin a relationship... it definitely puts a strain and especially if the other person does not understand!7

For those who do not know what BDD is:

"Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a distinct mental disorder in which a person is preoccupied with an imagined physical defect or a minor defect that others often cannot see. As a result, people with this disorder see themselves as "ugly" and often avoid social exposure or turn to plastic surgery to try to improve their appearance."