i can relate, it just feels like my friends don’t actually care as much as they make out they do. like i’ll express my feelings some way or another through my phone & they’ll see it & be like, ‘oh, you okay?’. but then in reality i can be in a really bad mood & they’ll be oblivious to it. & when i’m in a bad mood, i don’t exactly do a lot to ‘hide’ my feelings. if i’m annoyed, i’ll look like an annoyed person. if i’m mad, I’ll look mad. so they have no excuse of, ‘oh, you didn’t look angry/ sad/ annoyed’. but say the roles were flipped. i’m always the one trying to ensure everyone is happy. if i notice someone looks sad, I’ll ask them if they’re okay or at least message them later on being like ‘oh, today you looked sad, just wanted to check your okay’ or something like that.
but your totally right, it seems like there’s nobody else like that. nobody else that values kindness & just being nice. i mean, i’d love for someone to be checking up on me if i was in a bad mood, but nah, that doesn’t happen. perhaps that’s partially my fault though, I said i’ll express my feelings, because yes, I will. But I won’t elaborate, i’ll Just be like ‘yeah, i’m mad’ & won’t explain why. but I don’t think my unwillingness to explain should have any impact on whether they actually care about my wellbeing.