IBD and me

Awww lovely xx just saw it thank you lovely xxx awh no it is ok, i feel stupid for being bothered about it tbh but in all honesty i feel like they are right bc i value the opinions of strangers more so feel like they are more objective. Tis all very well my mum saying things but she has rose tinted glasses looool whereas strangers dont hold back lol still would like them to keep their comments to themselves tho :/

I don't know how I've only just found this thread but I also have UC and was diagnosed last year just before my AS exams. I was too embarrassed to open up about the symptoms so suffered through the pain, the blood and the fatigue for months on end before I decided to tell someone. At this point, I was in a pretty bad state so got admitted, straight on biologics and even had a blood transfusion because I was so dangerously anaemic. Not a single family member nor friend had heard of either UC or IBD in general so I felt very isolated and alone at first. The symptoms really get you down and no one ever sees you at your worst and thus we're incredibly misunderstood. I don't go out when I'm flaring so whenever my friends see me, I'm in remission and somewhat normal and this is the perception that needs to be changed.

I've been managing okay recently on pentasa and iron infusions. I met a few friends on a facebook support group (you've probably come across it before if you have IBD) who are the same age as me so it's nice to have someone to talk to when you're in a flare; someone who actually knows what you're feeling and how unbearable it can be sometimes. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me

You have no idea how pleased I am about you posting this. It's hard being open even the slightest, so thanks so much! I think we may have been diagnosed around the same time...? My anaemia was very horrible then as well, and my nurse suggested that I should have a blood transfusion but I refused to have it. Have you got an IBD nurse, and are you in paediatrics? I'm gonna be PMing you loads of questions, so I'm sorry if you find me annoying - its just that when you finally get to know someone who's experiencing the same things as you are, I feel like wanting to know more - if that makes sense? Thank you!

Yeah, I feel exactly the same! It's great to have someone to talk to who genuinely understands what you're going through and doesn't jump to conclusions or make assumptions.

I have an IBD nurse yeah, she's amazing and I even have her on facebook so whenever I have a problem I can talk about it informally without having the added pressure of having to go to appointments or make phone calls. I'm not in paediatrics though even though I am 17, never really thought about it much! I think it may have helped when I was in hospital for those first few weeks because it was pretty lonely. Are you?

And yeah we must've been diagnosed at around about the same time. I always had tummy bugs a lot as a kid so it does cross my mind that perhaps I've had mild UC (or proctitis) for a while but in a way my diagnosis was a relief because bowel cancer runs in my family so my best hope was that it was indeed UC.

How were you diagnosed? You can PM me if you prefer!

x

All these emotional posts today got me like


...
Another great post rav!

How my weight loss changed everything

I would first like to say thank you to everyone who has posted on this blog, and for those who have offered me support, listened to my whining and for just being there in general.

This blog post will be on on how the drastic weight loss I experienced changed everything. I used to love taking pictures with my friends and family because I loved how I looked. I had a glow on my face, I would always smile, loved my petiteness (and no doubt - still do) and wasn't so bone-y. All that really stopped when I was in Year 11, because as you all may have read before, my condition began flaring. It was all so sudden. My weight decreased a hell of a lot and I just hated the way I looked. I would look at myself in front of the mirror and think 'What happened? Why?' My weight loss changed everything. The glow on my face disappeared. The smile I had disappeared. I thought I looked horrible.

The pictures that I loved taking with my friends? They all stopped. Not only the pictures, I stopped talking to them as well. As they took selfies in one corner of the room, I'd be sitting in the other corner not saying a word, looking at the displays they had up since the beginning of the school year and was constantly thinking about what I did wrong to deserve something like that. It got to a point where my friends thought I was annoyed with them. I was embarassed to tell them what I was experiencing. How could I have explained something when even I didn't know what was going on? When one girl would ask 'ravioli, what's up?' another would say 'I think she's annoyed with us, she's not talking to us.' Until I acctually told them what it was - after hospital and so, is when they understood.

I used to love doing PE at school, enjoyed trampolining even though I wasn't good at it. Of course, that stopped too. I didn't want it to, but it did. I had lost so much weight that the trampoline wouldn't bounce when I jumped on it. It was embarassing. My final year of secondary school was just so embarassing. You would think that 15/16 year old girls were mature, but clearly not. What did they do? They laughed. 'Omg, ravioli why are you so skinny ?' I didnt know what to reply to that, so of course I just laughed with them. Like I said before, what could I have said if I didn't know what was going on myself? Even the girl, whom I had known for four years and is with my at my new sixth form, laughed. And I don't blame her. How I looked like, how skinny I was - I really don't blame her. I was laughing myself. Another friend of mine, who was supposed to be with me this year, was the only that didn't laugh. She looked at me and said instantly 'I know you're really not laughing'. The girl who I didn't even talk to much said that to me. She seemed to understand me more than anyone.

My form room was on the second floor of the school building amd there was only on way of getting there, which is quite a long route (it was the furthest form room in the building from the school entrance). It would take me forever to walk up the stairs because I needed support. I had to take every step with ease because I couldn't walk up without the handle. I found my school bag heavy. I found the school textbooks heavy ffs. Everything I held I found heavy.

After my surgery and all, I was prescribed with steroids for ten weeks. These little suckers made me gain SO MUCH WEIGHT. Literally. When I had my surgery, I was 39kg, and after my ten week treatment of steroids, I was 55kg. I became super chubby Everyone noticed my weight gain, and that was something I feared most. I went to an all girls school with judgmental snobs. Well, those were the sort of girls in my class anyway. When I was skinny af, they would laugh at me and question me. When I gained a bit weight, they would laugh at me and question me. Like wtf? Really?

On bright side, I became more confident in myself. I enjoyed taking pictures, and I took so many pictures on the last two days of school with a big smile and my chubby cheeks. I didn't care. I was getting better, and thats what counted the most. Should I care about what others thought? NO. I was happy. I was happy. And, I'm going to be one hundred per cent honest, I'm actually happier now than I've ever been before.

So yeh.

Thanks for reading.

ravioliyears xx

x

x

y

How my weight loss changed everything

I would first like to say thank you to everyone who has posted on this blog, and for those who have offered me support, listened to my whining and for just being there in general.

This blog post will be on on how the drastic weight loss I experienced changed everything. I used to love taking pictures with my friends and family because I loved how I looked. I had a glow on my face, I would always smile, loved my petiteness (and no doubt - still do) and wasn't so bone-y. All that really stopped when I was in Year 11, because as you all may have read before, my condition began flaring. It was all so sudden. My weight decreased a hell of a lot and I just hated the way I looked. I would look at myself in front of the mirror and think 'What happened? Why?' My weight loss changed everything. The glow on my face disappeared. The smile I had disappeared. I thought I looked horrible.

The pictures that I loved taking with my friends? They all stopped. Not only the pictures, I stopped talking to them as well. As they took selfies in one corner of the room, I'd be sitting in the other corner not saying a word, looking at the displays they had up since the beginning of the school year and was constantly thinking about what I did wrong to deserve something like that. It got to a point where my friends thought I was annoyed with them. I was embarassed to tell them what I was experiencing. How could I have explained something when even I didn't know what was going on? When one girl would ask 'ravioli, what's up?' another would say 'I think she's annoyed with us, she's not talking to us.' Until I acctually told them what it was - after hospital and so, is when they understood.

I used to love doing PE at school, enjoyed trampolining even though I wasn't good at it. Of course, that stopped too. I didn't want it to, but it did. I had lost so much weight that the trampoline wouldn't bounce when I jumped on it. It was embarassing. My final year of secondary school was just so embarassing. You would think that 15/16 year old girls were mature, but clearly not. What did they do? They laughed. 'Omg, ravioli why are you so skinny ?' I didnt know what to reply to that, so of course I just laughed with them. Like I said before, what could I have said if I didn't know what was going on myself? Even the girl, whom I had known for four years and is with my at my new sixth form, laughed. And I don't blame her. How I looked like, how skinny I was - I really don't blame her. I was laughing myself. Another friend of mine, who was supposed to be with me this year, was the only that didn't laugh. She looked at me and said instantly 'I know you're really not laughing'. The girl who I didn't even talk to much said that to me. She seemed to understand me more than anyone.

My form room was on the second floor of the school building amd there was only on way of getting there, which is quite a long route (it was the furthest form room in the building from the school entrance). It would take me forever to walk up the stairs because I needed support. I had to take every step with ease because I couldn't walk up without the handle. I found my school bag heavy. I found the school textbooks heavy ffs. Everything I held I found heavy.

After my surgery and all, I was prescribed with steroids for ten weeks. These little suckers made me gain SO MUCH WEIGHT. Literally. When I had my surgery, I was 39kg, and after my ten week treatment of steroids, I was 55kg. I became super chubby Everyone noticed my weight gain, and that was something I feared most. I went to an all girls school with judgmental snobs. Well, those were the sort of girls in my class anyway. When I was skinny af, they would laugh at me and question me. When I gained a bit weight, they would laugh at me and question me. Like wtf? Really?

On bright side, I became more confident in myself. I enjoyed taking pictures, and I took so many pictures on the last two days of school with a big smile and my chubby cheeks. I didn't care. I was getting better, and thats what counted the most. Should I care about what others thought? NO. I was happy. I was happy. And, I'm going to be one hundred per cent honest, I'm actually happier now than I've ever been before.

So yeh.

Thanks for reading.

ravioliyears xx

How my weight loss changed everything

I would first like to say thank you to everyone who has posted on this blog, and for those who have offered me support, listened to my whining and for just being there in general.

This blog post will be on on how the drastic weight loss I experienced changed everything. I used to love taking pictures with my friends and family because I loved how I looked. I had a glow on my face, I would always smile, loved my petiteness (and no doubt - still do) and wasn't so bone-y. All that really stopped when I was in Year 11, because as you all may have read before, my condition began flaring. It was all so sudden. My weight decreased a hell of a lot and I just hated the way I looked. I would look at myself in front of the mirror and think 'What happened? Why?' My weight loss changed everything. The glow on my face disappeared. The smile I had disappeared. I thought I looked horrible.

The pictures that I loved taking with my friends? They all stopped. Not only the pictures, I stopped talking to them as well. As they took selfies in one corner of the room, I'd be sitting in the other corner not saying a word, looking at the displays they had up since the beginning of the school year and was constantly thinking about what I did wrong to deserve something like that. It got to a point where my friends thought I was annoyed with them. I was embarassed to tell them what I was experiencing. How could I have explained something when even I didn't know what was going on? When one girl would ask 'ravioli, what's up?' another would say 'I think she's annoyed with us, she's not talking to us.' Until I acctually told them what it was - after hospital and so, is when they understood.

I used to love doing PE at school, enjoyed trampolining even though I wasn't good at it. Of course, that stopped too. I didn't want it to, but it did. I had lost so much weight that the trampoline wouldn't bounce when I jumped on it. It was embarassing. My final year of secondary school was just so embarassing. You would think that 15/16 year old girls were mature, but clearly not. What did they do? They laughed. 'Omg, ravioli why are you so skinny ?' I didnt know what to reply to that, so of course I just laughed with them. Like I said before, what could I have said if I didn't know what was going on myself? Even the girl, whom I had known for four years and is with my at my new sixth form, laughed. And I don't blame her. How I looked like, how skinny I was - I really don't blame her. I was laughing myself. Another friend of mine, who was supposed to be with me this year, was the only that didn't laugh. She looked at me and said instantly 'I know you're really not laughing'. The girl who I didn't even talk to much said that to me. She seemed to understand me more than anyone.

My form room was on the second floor of the school building amd there was only on way of getting there, which is quite a long route (it was the furthest form room in the building from the school entrance). It would take me forever to walk up the stairs because I needed support. I had to take every step with ease because I couldn't walk up without the handle. I found my school bag heavy. I found the school textbooks heavy ffs. Everything I held I found heavy.

After my surgery and all, I was prescribed with steroids for ten weeks. These little suckers made me gain SO MUCH WEIGHT. Literally. When I had my surgery, I was 39kg, and after my ten week treatment of steroids, I was 55kg. I became super chubby Everyone noticed my weight gain, and that was something I feared most. I went to an all girls school with judgmental snobs. Well, those were the sort of girls in my class anyway. When I was skinny af, they would laugh at me and question me. When I gained a bit weight, they would laugh at me and question me. Like wtf? Really?

On bright side, I became more confident in myself. I enjoyed taking pictures, and I took so many pictures on the last two days of school with a big smile and my chubby cheeks. I didn't care. I was getting better, and thats what counted the most. Should I care about what others thought? NO. I was happy. I was happy. And, I'm going to be one hundred per cent honest, I'm actually happier now than I've ever been before.

So yeh.

Thanks for reading.

ravioliyears xx

Amagaaad ravioli I only just discovered your blog( and that too because you tagged me) ;_;

I'm terribly sorry for you. 😢 I'm.. Emotionally drained.

I said that before, but without really knowing anything about you, but now I do.. Hodor is always there for his ravioli ravioli

Great blog, fantastic post! ily so much <4

@ravioliyears such an emotional read
You are really brave to talk about it ; and you shattered my heart when you said you didn't blame people for laughing at you .. You are so mature !

I was really glad to see you writing "I am happy" . I'm truly happy that you are

You are fabulous ravioli, and you inspire us