Would a church wedding be a dealbreaker for you?

Just a question. My boyfriend and i aren't engaged yet but have been discussing getting married. My boyfriend is very anti-religion and will not consider getting marrried in a church, I'm not too bothered by this, i would like to get married in a church having been brought up Christian but its not essential for me, i don't mind having a civil ceremony rather than religious one, but it is for my mum. She is insistant that he is being very unfair by not letting us get married in a church and though it may not matter to me now it will matter in the future.

Now i don't see why it should matter to me in the future if it doesn't matter now. I'm also of the opinion that it is his wedding too and if he doesn't want to marry in a church i won't make him. I think it doesn't matter whether you marry in the eyes of god or the eyes of the law, it is still a commitment made in love. It has the same meaning for the couple.

I just wanted to know if your boyfriend didn't want to get married in a church would it bother you, would it be dealbreaker? Also for those who are married did you or did you not get married in church and how do you feel about your wedding? Could it have been better had it been done in church?

Reply 1

Hippysnake

19

Is this a toilet? If not, then marry wherever the hell you want to marry. Your mother is bound to show up anyway.

Reply 2

DisgruntledMoth

14

I don't care as long as we get to dress up as Jedi.

Reply 3

Turdburger

16

I personally wouldn't get married in a church, that is my own belief set, and would hope my future's (/current's :redface:

) mother wouldn't be short sighted as to call deeply held beliefs as "selfish"

Reply 4

Spinnerette

16

You could always have a blessing in a church later in life if you want to compromise somehow. Personally I'd like to get married in the Autumn outside but that's just me neither my or my boyfriend are religious.

Reply 5

dreamyeyed

11

My family are all church goers so therefore i'm pretty certain a church wedding would be a definite for me.

Reply 6

didgeridoo12uk

16

if she wanted to get married in a church, i really woulndnt mind at all. doesn't bother me in the slightest.

although i would far prefer to get married at a huge lodge in the middle of the okavango delta... but well thats never gonna happen

Reply 7

didgeridoo12uk

16

if she wanted to get married in a church, i really woulndnt mind at all. doesn't bother me in the slightest.

although i would far prefer to get married at a huge lodge in the middle of the okavango delta... but well thats never gonna happen

Reply 8

oodalallyoodalally

2

I was raised a scrict christian but i'm not too attached to the idea (nice as it would be) In a way churches are kinda boring. Last year i went to one at night in a field. It was lit by hundreds of fire torches. Cost the bride and groom £100. That's how i'd like to do it. Tbh though i think he's being a wee bit selfish but as you say it's his wedding too. Don't feel pressured by your mum to make it her dream wedding.

Reply 9

getinthevan

15

I don't think I'm allowed to get married in a church because I haven't been christened.. is that right? I've been told that, anyway.

To be honest, if your boyfriend is uncomfortable with the idea of being married in a church, I'd do as Spinnerette said and suggest the compromise of a blessing - that should appease your Mum.

Reply 10

shorty.loves.angels

16

My boyfriend's family have always been church-goers, although he hasn't been quite so much and I don't think even he is completely sure how he feels religiously.

I am quite sure that it would mean a lot to his family if we married in a church. My parents probably wouldn't mind either way and to be honest I wouldn't rule it out as I'm quite on the fence :smile:

I actually like the idea of marrying in a church rather than a hall... but it's not really for religious reasons, and is therefore probably for wrong reasons.

To answer your question, for me it would not be a dealbreaker.

Now you got me thinking about where my first choice to get married would be...

Reply 11

CharlieDon'tSurf

DisgruntledMoth

I don't care as long as we get to dress up as Jedi.

I doubt you're invited you freaking weirdo

Reply 12

missygeorgia

18

It's not a big deal to me. I'm not a smidgen religious so the obvious choice for me woud be a civil ceremony, my boyfriend was brought up a Christian though and would prefer a church wedding which I don't really mind. It's all about the compromise. E.g. christian wedding in exchange for very unchristian debauchery on your honeymoon.

Reply 13

jammythedodger

12

A Non-Church Wedding is very much a dealbraker for me.

I will get married in a Church and nothing else.
It's too important for me to not take me vows "in front of God" so to speak.

Reply 14

DisgruntledMoth

14

CharlieDon'tSurf

I doubt you're invited you freaking weirdo

Wow.

I really felt the pure hatred in that one.

Reply 15

CharlieDon'tSurf

DisgruntledMoth

Wow.

I really felt the pure hatred in that one.

I'm intolerant of homosexuals, blacks and Jedi's.

Reply 16

Laconic

I'm a pretty militant atheist, but I don't think this would be too much of an issue for me. As long as we could keep the spiritual nonsense to a minimum, I think the actual surroundings and ambiance create quite a nice atmosphere in which to get married.

Reply 17

Annaconda

17

no. being married in a church may be a deal breaker though.

Reply 18

typiin

The only way I'd get married in a church (or ever enter one) is if I got to burn it down BEFOREHAND.

Reply 19

Sabertooth

20

I used to have like a church and **** picked out but then I thought er...wtf I don't believe in god why would I marry in a church? :/ I know my mother would very much like me to (as well as having any kids baptised) but ah **** it, it would be my wedding not hers - anyway she got married in a church and just got divorced, guess it doesn't make a difference after all :p:

Would a church wedding be a dealbreaker for you?

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