I truly believe being a short man is one of the worst traits to have

Original post by Primary_eye1893

It is one of the only traits that cannot be physically changed so no matter what a shirt guy does, there's nothing that he can do physically to increase his attractiveness.

Hey! Woman here.

Height is absolutely not the handicap you think it is. I guarantee you.

Yes, for a small amount of women height is a dealbreaker. Call it 20% at a high estimate. But consider that being super tall as a woman (6ft+) is equally a dealbreaker for some men, and yet loads and loads of men would date a tall woman with no problem. It’s the same thing with short guys—while some women aren’t going to be into them, the vast majority really couldn’t care less.

Your dating pool has been reduced by a small amount, then, but if someone is going to reject you off of something as shallow as height, chances are you wouldn’t want to date them anyway.

I’m guessing you’re posting something like this because you feel down about your dating options? My guy, you’ve heard this before but what’s holding you back is definitely not your height. You seem to be really insecure about this and that’s alright, we’ve all got our deep insecurities and it’s okay. But you need to understand you’re more than that. I’d guess your confidence isn’t great atm? That might be the big thing. By confidence, all that means is acting comfortable in your own skin—no constant self-deprecation, or jokes that put yourself down all the time. The more you start acting confident in yourself, the sooner you actually trick yourself into believing it. And it works! Seriously. When you’re more sure in yourself, people like it. Your height isn’t the problem, just how you feel about it.

I wish you all the best of luck. I am sure you are a really lovely guy with a super nice personality and you’re anxious about your height when the first two things are so so much more important. Height is at the bottom of the list for any reasonable person’s dating scale. It’s okay.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 5

unfortunately life is unfair. How tall are you?

I am in a similar spot, I’m 5’8, so not super short but shortish, and for the longest time I’ve blamed my height (among other things) for a lot of things in my life, even outside women. But whilst it’s important to recognise your strengths as a person, I don’t think it’s healthy to dwell on things that you can’t change. All you can do is play the cards you’ve been dealt with.

I’d recommend combat sports. Nothing gives you more confidence than being to handedly mess up 99% of these bums on the street, not that you should go around looking for that but it’s a game changer. You’ll become more confident, attractive. You’d be playing the best hand you’ve gotten this way.

Make as much money as you can, and take part in self-care. If you’re using drugs or alcohol, stop abusing them right away.

Reply 6

Original post by CelticNord

Assume the worst and the majority of women prefer taller men. That's fine you do not have to associate with them or necessarily cooperate with them. Its just yet another reason for to leave the west and opt for oriental women instead.

“You do not have to necessarily cooperate with them”. Dude, can you hear yourself? At what point did you stop treating people like human beings? ”Cooperate” with them? Come on.

I doubt “the majority of women prefer taller men” as you seem to have assumed—it’s just that they don’t want to hang around with someone who considers communicating with a normal woman as “cooperation”.

Also whatever’s going on with your fixation on “oriental women” and your username… really rancid vibes there, mate.

Reply 7

Original post by mousespine

Hey! Woman here.

Height is absolutely not the handicap you think it is. I guarantee you.

Yes, for a small amount of women height is a dealbreaker. Call it 20% at a very high estimate. v But consider that being super tall as a woman (6ft+) is equally a dealbreaker for some men, and yet loads and loads of men would date a tall woman with no problem. It’s the same thing with short guys—while some women aren’t going to be into them, the vast majority really couldn’t care less.

Your dating pool has been reduced by a v small amount, then, but if someone is going to reject you off of something as shallow as height, chances are you wouldn’t want to date them anyway.

I’m guessing you’re posting something like this because you feel down about your dating options? My guy, you’ve heard this before but what’s holding you back is definitely not your height. You seem to be really insecure about this and that’s alright, we’ve all got our deep insecurities and it’s okay. But you need to understand you’re more than that. I’d guess your confidence isn’t great atm? That might be the big thing. By confidence, all that means is acting comfortable in your own skin—no constant self-deprecation, or jokes that put yourself down all the time. The more you start acting confident in yourself, the sooner you actually trick yourself into believing it. And it works! Seriously. When you’re more sure in yourself, people like it. Your height isn’t the problem, just how you feel about it.

I wish you all the best of luck. I am sure you are a really lovely guy with a super nice personality and you’re anxious about your height when the first two things are so so much more important. Height is at the bottom of the list for any reasonable person’s dating scale. It’s okay.

unfortunately height is rather significant. You can’t tell him that his dating pool has been reduced by a very small amount. It depends how short he is, but women typically care about height a lot.

I’m 5’8, practice combat sports, in shape and I’ve still heard silly comments from women about my height🤣 The cards are stacked against you more as a shorter dude.

not trying to kill this guy’s hope, because life is worth living short or not. But don’t lie to him.

Reply 8

Original post by Anonymous

unfortunately height is rather significant. You can’t tell him that his dating pool has been reduced by a very small amount. It depends how short he is, but women typically care about height a lot.

I’m 5’8, practice combat sports, in shape and I’ve still heard silly comments from women about my height🤣 The cards are stacked against you more as a shorter dude.

not trying to kill this guy’s hope, because life is worth living short or not. But don’t lie to him.

I guarantee you most women do not make decisions about long-term dating based on height. Being a short bloke is not an advantage but it’s certainly not the “worst quality anyone can have” as OP suggested.

And sorry to hear that, genuinely! You sound like a great guy. At least the stupid comments let you filter out the wronguns. Wouldn’t be worth dating anyone who cares that much about something so trivial.

Reply 9

Original post by mousespine

“You do not have to necessarily cooperate with them”. Dude, can you hear yourself? At what point did you stop treating people like human beings? ”Cooperate” with them? Come on.

I doub

“the majority of women prefer taller men” as you seem to have assumed—it’s just that they don’t want to hang around with someone who considers communicating with a normal woman as “cooperation”.

Also whatever’s going on with your fixation on “oriental women” and your username… really rancid vibes there, mate.

The majority of women do prefer taller men. Why are you gaslighting? I’m not addressing the other person’s comments or supporting, but cmon now you’re just straight lying.

it seems whenever a woman gives advice on dating, they want less desirable men to play their game… sad

Reply 10

Original post by mousespine

I guarantee you most women do not make decisions about long-term dating based on height. Being a short bloke is not an advantage but it’s certainly not the “worst quality anyone can have” as OP suggested.

And sorry to hear that, genuinely! You sound like a great guy. At least the stupid comments let you filter out the wronguns. Wouldn’t be worth dating anyone who cares that much about something so trivial.

Unfortunately it’s not trivial. I don’t have hang ups anymore about it since becoming more physically capable. But it does matter

Why should less desirable men just accept that they should be long term partners? Everybody knows that in this day and age, the man who enters the long term relationship is typically seen as a clown. You’re ultimately the one she settled for after she has fun with the countless attractive dudes in her youth. It isn’t fair. It’s not all women like this, but a LOT.

I think women are way too comfortable with convincing men be the beta boyfriend. It’s not right.

Reply 11

Original post by Anonymous

The majority of women do prefer taller men. Why are you gaslighting? I’m not addressing the other person’s comments or supporting, but cmon now you’re just straight lying.

it seems whenever a woman gives advice on dating, they want less desirable men to play their game… sad

I think there is an obvious and stark difference between a preference and an outright dealbreaker. Majority of men don’t prefer flat-chested women and yet having a flat chest is not a dealbreaker for the majority.

I am not saying being short is an advantage. Only that it is not the reason that the majority of women would turn you away.

and what’s this whole “play their game”, c’mon my guy. You think I’m saying this as some sort of weird manipulation tactic? I wouldn’t type out massive textblocks encouraging random internet strangers as a lie, it’d be a waste of time. I do wish you well going forwards—good luck w the dating, and I’m sure you’re really nice irl.

Reply 12

Original post by mousespine

I think there is an obvious and stark difference between a preference and an outright dealbreaker. Majority of men don’t prefer flat-chested women and yet having a flat chest is not a dealbreaker for the majority.

I am not saying being short is an advantage. Only that it is not the reason that the majority of women would turn you away.

and what’s this whole “play their game”, c’mon my guy. You think I’m saying this as some sort of weird manipulation tactic? I wouldn’t type out massive textblocks encouraging random internet strangers as a lie, it’d be a waste of time. I do wish you well going forwards—good luck w the dating, and I’m sure you’re really nice irl.

I’ll try to phase it another way:

If you’re short, or shorter than average, it can be either a dealbreaker or a disadvantage, depending on how short you actually are.

You can compensate up till a point with money, charisma, athleticism, becoming physically capable etc but ultimately it’ll be held against you, and typically quite significantly.

I don’t know where you’ve gotten your stats from, but it’s only like 77% of women who would accept a 5’10 man, which is literally most men😂😂

so, if you’re 5’6 your dating pool is reduced a lot. No matter how well you do in other areas that you can control, a good amount of women would just flat out reject you. Simply because of your height.

When you’re short, people imply things about your competence. Especially women, it can be physical, mental, whatever it is, typically you are doubted.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve received comments about my height from girls, even ones I’ve slept with or find me attractive. And other dudes, typically untrained people who are like puppies to anyone with a modicum of training in a legitimate martial art, love to test you in places where alcohol is abundant.

at the end of the da, preference/something being a dealbreaker is not important. You have to compensate a lot if you’re short, and sometimes it won’t even be enough.

Reply 13

Original post by mousespine

I think there is an obvious and stark difference between a preference and an outright dealbreaker. Majority of men don’t prefer flat-chested women and yet having a flat chest is not a dealbreaker for the majority.

I am not saying being short is an advantage. Only that it is not the reason that the majority of women would turn you away.

and what’s this whole “play their game”, c’mon my guy. You think I’m saying this as some sort of weird manipulation tactic? I wouldn’t type out massive textblocks encouraging random internet strangers as a l it’d be a waste of time. I do wish you well going forwards—good luck w the dating, and I’m sure you’re really nice irl.

And maybe I was a little harsh but typically women love to recommend and give advice to guys, guys who are seeking dating advice and telling them to be the completely opposite of what they are TRULY attracted to.

They recommend men become the safe option, whilst they sleep with attractive dudes who don’t care about them that much during their prime years. It’s sad to see when men are gaslightedlike this. Maybe I feel strongly because women are given a lot of game from a young age, and men have to figure out dating all by themselves.

Reply 14

Original post by Anonymous

Unfortunately it’s not trivial. I don’t have hang ups anymore about it since becoming more physically capable. But it does matter

Why should less desirable men just accept that they should be long term partners? Everybody knows that in this day and age, the man who enters the long term relationship is typically seen as a clown. You’re ultimately the one she settled for after she has fun with the countless attractive dudes in her youth. It isn’t fair. It’s not all women like this, but a LOT.

I think women are way too comfortable with convincing men be the beta boyfriend. It’s not right.

See, I can get where you’re coming from, and I respect it. Body standards for men are messed up. I maintain that their worst effect is on self-esteem, though, not for the most part others’ perception of you. But I get it.

Still, I have no idea what you’re talking about with a man in a long-term relationship being seen as a clown? This sounds like a deeply immature outlook. Long-term relationships are where strong, loving, emotional connections can be developed and maintained, and a partner can actually get to understand you. Isn’t that important? What’s clownish about that? Men don’t get enough positive reinforcement as is. Avoiding long-term emotional connection is just going to worsen that, isn’t it? How on earth is it “beta” to allow yourself to actually form attachments with someone?

I don’t mean this to come across as an attack—I’m just genuinely baffled as to how this could be the case.

Reply 15

Original post by Anonymous

And maybe I was a little harsh but typically women love to recommend and give advice to guys, guys who are seeking dating advice and telling them to be the completely opposite of what they are TRULY attracted to.

They recommend men become the safe option, whilst they sleep with attractive dudes who don’t care about them that much during their prime years. It’s sad to see when men are gaslightedlike this. Maybe I feel strongly because women are given a lot of game from a young age, and men have to figure out dating all by themselves.

A little confused by this, if I’m honest. All I’ve recommended is “can’t change your height, so be more confident in yourself”. Are women not attracted to confidence? Is confidence the “safe option”? That’s news to me.

And really I think confidence is the clincher here. It’s the common factor between the chill guys who easily get dates and the more unpleasant ones. Difference is that the former’s dates last.

Reply 16

Original post by mousespine

See, I can get where you’re coming from, and I respect it. Body standards for men are messed up. I maintain that their worst effect is on self-esteem, though, not for the most part others’ perception of you. But I get it.

Still, I have no idea what you’re talking about with a man in a long-term relationship being seen as a clown? This sounds like a deeply immature outlook. Long-term relationships are where strong, loving, emotional connections can be developed and maintained, and a partner can actually get to understand you. Isn’t that important? What’s clownish about that? Men don’t get enough positive reinforcement as is. Avoiding long-term emotional connection is just going to worsen that, isn’t it? How on earth is it “beta” to allow yourself to actually form attachments with someone?

I don’t mean this to come across as an attack—I’m just genuinely baffled as to how this could be the case.

Yes, long term relationships are beautiful. But today’s what women don’t understand is that it’s almost impossible to have a meaningful relationship as a man in this day and age. By virtue of how most women live their lives or play the dating game, it’s almost impossible and I’ll explain why.

Firstly, just look at the divorce statistics. Women initiating up to 70-80% of divorces, and the laws are stacked against the men. Men don’t have an incentive to marry anymore, it’s simply too much of a risk.

Secondly, most women have a very limited ability to pair bond. Unless you’re marrying your HS sweetheart, she’d have had typically quite a few sexual encounters by the time you get into a relationship with her. Which is fine, people can do what they want, but the statistics, and the age-old wisdom do not lie. Promiscuous women do not make good wives, and even after a partner count of let’s say, 5, their chances of initiating divorce go up massively! In my own experience, women with no or few previous partners seemed like better people.

lastly, why should men just be comfortable with the fact that they are the “settled-for” option? It’s a sad reality. You are unattractive, but are a good “provider” type. The girl who wouldn’t even look your way at university now is happy to be provided for by you, after she’s had a dozen or few dozen sexual partners and realise that those attractive dudes wouldn’t commit to them😂😂 it’s not a win for a man to get a relationship with a low quality, promiscuous women.

it’s not childish or sexist. You can look up the partner count and divorce stats, its very real.

Reply 17

Original post by mousespine

A little confused by this, if I’m honest. All I’ve recommended is “can’t change your height, so be more confident in yourself”. Are women not attracted to confidence? Is confidence the “safe o

? That’s news to me.

And really I think confidence is the clincher here. It’s the common factor between the chill guys who easily get dates and the more unpleasant ones. Difference is that the former’s dates last.

of course confidence matters but confidence comes from how you’ve been treated throughout your life. Or if you work very hard to become confident by becoming someone of value.

I will agree though, being charismatic and pleasant is important for a man. I’ve always been a hot head and cynical, and it 100% has put some women off.

Reply 18