Marriage, Islam

Hi, so I have recently had a marriage proposal the guy is a few years older than me. He comes from a good hard working family, he’s educated, has a good job but I feel like my heart not in it. My whole family has said he’s good, and that I’ll be happy so I said yes to the proposal also had an engagement but I still don’t feel happy or content. I feel like I’m missing out and because f our age gap I’m 22 and he’s 29.

Hi, so I have recently had a marriage proposal the guy is a few years older than me. He comes from a good hard working family, he’s educated, has a good job but I feel like my heart not in it. My whole family has said he’s good, and that I’ll be happy so I said yes to the proposal also had an engagement but I still don’t feel happy or content. I feel like I’m missing out and because f our age gap I’m 22 and he’s 29.

Salaam sister I hope you are well why are you accepting a marriage proposal to a marriage that you don’t necessarily don’t feel content at. Age gap maybe an issue to you, have you considered financial stability between the both of you and how that would work in terms of life after marriage also have you considered maybe doing Istikhara Salah (Prayer) and seeing whether this marriage tie is for you or not? Please don’t feel peer pressured to accepting something unless your heart is at it.

Who you marry is the single most important decision of your life. And you're asking for advice on this based on his age, a broad imprecise description of his family, him having a "good" job (whatever that is), a broad imprecise description of your feelings on the matter, your family approving of him - without any details of how well your family knows him and how successful your family have been in picking their marriage partners.

Do you understand the core ingredients that go into creating a long and happy marriage? A lot of it is counter-intuitive to surface logic and social conditioning.

Always trust your gut instinct and put your own health & ambitions first.

Do not waste your own time or any man's by agreeing to a marriage that you do not want.
Particularly not one solely based on your family members approval of his background or friendship with his relatives.
It is your life, your future and your right to decide whether you are willing to get married & if so when and to whom.

Marriage is a very serious lifelong commitment and making the wrong choice of spouse can have devastating consequences.
If you feel that marriage is a part of your future plans, decide upon your marriage dealbreakers that you need any potential husband to be compatible with and a few dealbreakers of things that you will never tolerate in a spouse.

Then get to know single guys looking to get married and check that they are compatible with all your dealbreakers.
In terms of their: ambitions, body appearance, citizenships, employment & personal backgrounds, health, habits, income, religious beliefs, standard of living, values and work ethic.
Take your time and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Above all- stick to your marriage dealbreakers and do not allow anyone to bully or try to humiliate you for any of your dealbreakers.
Good luck!

Walaykum aslaam, I have prayed Istikhara a couple of time and still feel like unhappy. I accepted the marriage proposal as all my family told he’s a good guy and what not. Now I’m not sure if I’ve made the right choice.

Cancel the proposal. Your family will have to cry in their pillow and get over it. It's your life.

It’s Islam mate, you should know by know that a lot of them aren’t allowed to make their own choices.

I understand thank you, I am going to tell my mum family I would like to meet up with him and have a face to face conversation rather than on messages and over the phone but thank you for your advice.

Hi, so I have recently had a marriage proposal the guy is a few years older than me. He comes from a good hard working family, he’s educated, has a good job but I feel like my heart not in it. My whole family has said he’s good, and that I’ll be happy so I said yes to the proposal also had an engagement but I still don’t feel happy or content. I feel like I’m missing out and because f our age gap I’m 22 and he’s 29.

It’s Islam mate, you should know by know that a lot of them aren’t allowed to make their own choices.