Lost money. And gambling addiction.

So I'm recently 18. I've never had a job. I've spent over £10k in the last 2-3 years. A lot on sports gear, gadgets and musical instruments, but recently (last 8-10 months) I've just been consumed by gambling. Started with house games of poker for £5 here, £10 there. Now I've lost over £1,000 from gambling. I lie to my parents. I have £36.50 left, but ow a gambling friend £150 that he leant me this morning to play on pokerstars. My parents think I have £300+ also, I'm going to The Big Chill festival soon and will need money for that. I'm scared for my sanity. I still just really want to play poker as I am confident now that if i had $500+ to play with I could make a living from it if I learnt to discipline myself with some bankroll management. I'm not at a stage where I want to stop, I just can't imagine ever doing anything else other than playing poker for a living. I know it's sad, monotonous and geeky. I can't see a way out but am slowly aware I'm digging a hole. Doing maths at Bristol (grades permitting) as of October, but hate maths and have no motivation for the course, just want to get my hands on the student loan, and move out for the social side of uni. Is it legal to gamble your student loan?

Is it legal to gamble your student loan?

Now I've lost over £1,000 from gambling.

I do/have had some disposable income through music. And I am trying to train to be a professional poker player, it's all my mental energy ever goes into these days. I play a lot, read poker forums and blogs, look through my hand histories from day before at that start of the day.

As for tricks of the trade I recently discovered a website that lets you see statistics of poker usernames and shows if they are winning or losing players. Yesterday I deposited $150, worked it up to $450 playing 1 v 1 against only losing players. Then ran out of searches allowed for the day on the website (unless you pay to use the website) but couldn't stop myself playing and then lost the $450, playing higher stakes than I should have and against good players (although I did get hideously unlucky along the way), and now I'm super annoyed at myself because I have a free house all week next week and some poker friends are coming over and I know I can win if I don't play when I'm angry and focus - but now have no money.

And I'm annoyed because I lost most of the money when I was rubbish before I started thinking properly about decisions and understand poker more. Now I've improved a lot I'm out of money to play with.

And maths at uni can be bad! It's quite hard and I have no patience with it, although in the second year I can take lots of statistics and game theory modules which I would prefer.

And I can't imagine self banning myself, although I know it won't just go away. And I know it's a dangerous thing to get into, but really think I can do it, I maybe just need to save up some money (like £1k) and deposit it all at one time, then with $1.5k in my account I am not just going to go broke with one bit of bad luck and can hopefully win money in the long run if I continue to study my game and seek to improve.

Basically I am going to give this a proper shot (probably with my student loan), although am unsure if I am crazy of it is at all rational.

also, use the self ban tool they have, im not sure if they have it on pokerstars but they do on others like full tilt

whats the website called?
I'm the opposite to you I rate myself as a good player but if I win loads of money I want to quit and if I lose loads I'm so pissed of I don't feel like playing for a couple of weeks.