Help needed. Brown kids only

Now, Im a 19 year old brown girl. I live in Canada recently moved from the middle east. No lets keep in mind, my dad is v strict and my mom can be strict but not always?
My mom found my vape for the fourth time I suppose. I'm not addicted, I adhere to everything she says. Ironcially, the vape had 0% nicotine, its an elf bar. I do it occassionnally when I'm really really bummed and stressed out.

Now shes calling me a liar and mad at me despite me explaining the situation. I know im wrong, yet I need her to understand me. What do I do?

Reply 1

souljav

10

Nothing more you can do right now tbh. Best to wait for her to calm down, and then try and explain again. Just remember to remain calm yourself and be respectful and honest with her, and hopefully she understands.

It’s fair to say she still might not understand or agree or be happy with you for doing it and/or lying about / hiding it but at least you tried to explain. There’s nothing you can do about her reaction and nothing more you can do to really change her mind imo.

Might be useful to stop vaping completely and finding other way to relieve your stress especially if you want to avoid more arguments and disappointment and if you’re not really addicted.

Or you can carry on. Since your 19, you’re grown up enough and not a kid, so if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it and she’ll just have to accept it.

Reply 2

skiDaddy

9

Try to understand your mom's perspective and acknowledge her feelings. It's possible that she is coming from a place of concern for your well-being and may be worried about the potential risks associated with vaping, regardless of whether it contains nicotine or not. Validating her feelings and showing empathy may help in building a bridge of understanding.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by souljav

Nothing more you can do right now tbh. Best to wait for her to calm down, and then try and explain again. Just remember to remain calm yourself and be respectful and honest with her, and hopefully she understands.

It’s fair to say she still might not understand or agree or be happy with you for doing it and/or lying about / hiding it but at least you tried to explain. There’s nothing you can do about her reaction and nothing more you can do to really change her mind imo.

Might be useful to stop vaping completely and finding other way to relieve your stress especially if you want to avoid more arguments and disappointment and if you’re not really addicted.

Or you can carry on. Since your 19, you’re grown up enough and not a kid, so if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it and she’ll just have to accept it.

The thing is she wont listen or talk to me despite whatever I do. I understand she has expectatios and in our culture its not preffered but im NOT addicted and wont be, I can control myself. The idea is how she assumes im a liar and a cheater, and How i manipulate her in everyway.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by skiDaddy

Try to understand your mom's perspective and acknowledge her feelings. It's possible that she is coming from a place of concern for your well-being and may be worried about the potential risks associated with vaping, regardless of whether it contains nicotine or not. Validating her feelings and showing empathy may help in building a bridge of understanding.

yes I do acknowledge her feelings. I dont know how to act upon it anymore, I really dont. She expects me to tell her everything when she cant understand my perspective either. I honestly dont knwo If i should run apologising to her or run after her.

Reply 5

areebah99

13

Original post by Anonymous

Now, Im a 19 year old brown girl. I live in Canada recently moved from the middle east. No lets keep in mind, my dad is v strict and my mom can be strict but not always?
My mom found my vape for the fourth time I suppose. I'm not addicted, I adhere to everything she says. Ironcially, the vape had 0% nicotine, its an elf bar. I do it occassionnally when I'm really really bummed and stressed out.

Now shes calling me a liar and mad at me despite me explaining the situation. I know im wrong, yet I need her to understand me. What do I do?

honelstly
give her space
from experience as a muslim girl (16)
my mum was aready suspicious since my older cousens vape
back 2 ur situation
-say u wanted to try it and regret it
-says it a friends and your never going to speak to them again
-say you found it n was curiouse ..
-try and make her forget the vape situation by focusing on your carrer or by saying things like i want to get married,or what degree should i do
this will help distract your mum or even things like cooking with your mum
hope this helps however try to quit i know ur not addicted but we dont need flavoured air but
i didnt know elf bars do not have nicotine im sure its 2 % nicotone

Reply 6

toxicgamage56

Universities Forum Helper

19

Ngl came here excitedly expecting a maths question because of the title but alas :redface:

Reply 7

Al_the_Pal

9

Original post by Anonymous

Now, Im a 19 year old brown girl. I live in Canada recently moved from the middle east. No lets keep in mind, my dad is v strict and my mom can be strict but not always?
My mom found my vape for the fourth time I suppose. I'm not addicted, I adhere to everything she says. Ironcially, the vape had 0% nicotine, its an elf bar. I do it occassionnally when I'm really really bummed and stressed out.

Now shes calling me a liar and mad at me despite me explaining the situation. I know im wrong, yet I need her to understand me. What do I do?

from one brown to another, stop vaping, and if you have to, get a friend to hold onto it or something, because your mother will not listen to you, wrong or otherwise.

Reply 8

StriderHort

21

Just my white adult opinion... but you do sound dishonest.. one minure you're not addicted... but you keep buying them. They are 0% nicotine but you use them for 'stress'?

This is in a par with claiming you have a hidden bottle if vodka just because you like the smell.

Reply 9

KingintheNorth31

10

Hi, I’m a white British guy from a western, Christian family who are not strict in any way, so I’m probably the complete opposite to what this question was aimed at, but realistically my answer would be the same regardless of my background. Give up vaping, I’ve seen countless people I know and care about have their lives ruined by addiction to smoking, gambling and drinking and its not pleasant at all. You say that you’re not addicted however realistically habits like vaping even if they do not contain nicotine will eventually catch up to you and start affecting your health. I would also say that your 19 years old and in Canada, I don’t know about your background but if you feel that you’re parents are being to strict towards you, perhaps you should sit down and have a conversation with them regarding your life and future and how you feel, at the end of the day regardless of your background vaping isn’t immoral, it’s just not that great for your health, so you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for it. Your 19 years old and I’m sure you’ve got a bright future ahead of you, best of luck!

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Now, Im a 19 year old brown girl. I live in Canada recently moved from the middle east. No lets keep in mind, my dad is v strict and my mom can be strict but not always?
My mom found my vape for the fourth time I suppose. I'm not addicted, I adhere to everything she says. Ironcially, the vape had 0% nicotine, its an elf bar. I do it occassionnally when I'm really really bummed and stressed out.
Now shes calling me a liar and mad at me despite me explaining the situation. I know im wrong, yet I need her to understand me. What do I do?