Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

"On a Break"

I've been with my current girlfriend for about a month and a half now, and for the first few weeks it was so great. We wanted to be in each other's company all the time. We would constantly call each other and were so happy together. Recently, however, she called me up crying and said it wasn't the same any more, and it's not as fun any more. I disagreed with her at the time but on reflection I think she's right. I know this is normal, but should the "spark" really only last for a month?

She also told me that she messes up every relationship she's been in and she's really scared she'll ruin this one. I went to see her the next day and we talked about it, and I suggested that I give her some space for a couple of weeks so she'd have some time to think (we'll still be seeing and talking to each other a bit, just cooling it down a lot).

The biggest problem is that she said she can't help but pick out little flaws in people that really she knows shouldn't matter. I told her that is more normal than she thinks but I'm pretty sure it went straight over her head. She's recently started almost bullying me for little things, and I know 99% of it is a joke but realised there must be something wrong as it became constant and was starting to get me down as she stopped saying anything nice to me. I decided to try and get her to talk to me about things that annoy her, and I'd decide if they were things I'm willing to change about myself (most of them were).

Rambling aside, I'm really wondering if what we've done is best. I've never been happier in a relationship, and I want to try and make this work if I can. Sometimes I wonder if we rushed things. From the start we were already seeing each other a lot and we were saying "I love you" quicker than I've ever got to that stage with anyone before. I also sometimes feel like I was sort of a disposable guy she used to find exciting. I'm not proud of the fact that when we first got together, she was in a relationship with a friend of mine. It feels like maybe she just jumps around from guy to guy looking for things new and exciting, and as I've said it makes me feel very disposable if true.

Sorry for a massive wall of text but I had a lot that I needed to say.

Reply 1

*Dreaming*

You need a break after a month relationship? Dude, it's barely even a relationship if you've been together only a month. I think you may need to accept that this isn't going to work if you already have these problems.

Reply 2

RubberRing

It's not a break so much in that sense though, it's just some time for her to clear her head and decides if she really wants/can cope with a relationship right now. It's not as though it's getting us down or anything. I just happened to type it out in a really stupid long winded way

Reply 3

a_t

inb4 friends references

on a break generally is the last step before break up

Reply 4

llamalad200

a woman bullying you?! backhand her to keep her in line :biggrin:

Reply 5

kat2pult

You've been together for a month and a half and you're already having problems? Don't just take a break from her, take a permanent break. It's not going to happen.