Afraid of relationships?! huh?? Watch

Anonymous User
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Well, basically, Ive liked this girl for a while now and i asked her out, luckily she said yes and said she like me as well, and agreed to go out wit me...

That nite however she acted as if nothing has happened has happened which kinda confused me. I asked her about it and she said, while liking me (not jus in a friendship kinda way apprantly), she was scared of relationships, having not had one. And would wanna remain good friends.

I mean does this happen to other ppl? I can see the point of this as stepping into unknown waters, but if ur scared of relationships in general, then how are u ever gonna find any1?

Som1 shed som light on this please, this is really confusing.
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Poison Ivy
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Reassure her that you're not a bad person and show it, don't get too clingy though or you'll freak her out!
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Anonymous User
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lets see... after a year, my boyfriend decided to tell me that he was scared of our relationship. so that was fun.
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reggie_boy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
.........while liking me (not jus in a friendship kinda way apprantly), she was scared of relationships..... And would wanna remain good friends.
forget her move on. plenty more fish etc. sounds like she has loads of emotional baggage.
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Angel Interceptor
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, basically, Ive liked this girl for a while now and i asked her out, luckily she said yes and said she like me as well, and agreed to go out wit me...

That nite however she acted as if nothing has happened has happened which kinda confused me. I asked her about it and she said, while liking me (not jus in a friendship kinda way apprantly), she was scared of relationships, having not had one. And would wanna remain good friends.

I mean does this happen to other ppl? I can see the point of this as stepping into unknown waters, but if ur scared of relationships in general, then how are u ever gonna find any1?

Som1 shed som light on this please, this is really confusing.
Just be kind and considerate and listen to her feelings, and don't go too fast and reassure her that you'll take things at whatever pace she wants.
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Dekota
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, basically, Ive liked this girl for a while now and i asked her out, luckily she said yes and said she like me as well, and agreed to go out wit me...

That nite however she acted as if nothing has happened has happened which kinda confused me. I asked her about it and she said, while liking me (not jus in a friendship kinda way apprantly), she was scared of relationships, having not had one. And would wanna remain good friends.

I mean does this happen to other ppl? I can see the point of this as stepping into unknown waters, but if ur scared of relationships in general, then how are u ever gonna find any1?

Som1 shed som light on this please, this is really confusing.
Many people get confused like this; it's normal.

Basically you need to have made sure you allowed har time to think over things. You need to be friends for a while and take things from there. Keep seeing her and maybe go out when it seems right.

She likes you. Good luck.

--------------

(Original post by reggie_boy)
forget her move on. plenty more fish etc. sounds like she has loads of emotional baggage.
^^ Don't listen to this one.
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reggie_boy
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(Original post by V.P. Keys)
^^ Don't listen to this one.
Easy tiger, just giving my opinion, :cool:
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Poison Ivy
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(Original post by strawberrie)
ask her to open up and tell u how she really feels,

(maybe she isnt) but she could be using it as an excuse,

find out if she wants u and take it from there, if she doesnt and theres nothing u can do just let her go and stay friends...

uve done the hard part of asking her out so she knows how you feel now u just need to iron it out a bit i think,
Practice what you blimmin preach!!!
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Dekota
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(Original post by reggie_boy)
Easy tiger, just giving my opinion, :cool:
Easy Leopard, just giving my opinion on your opinion. :rolleyes:

Seriously; the OP chose this particular girl. Why? Something special surely ...
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sierraleone
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This may be off the mark, but she may not like you that much in a boyfriend capacity. I think it gets a bit blurred when you're good mates with someone, but give it your best shot anyway.

You might be better off as mates though.
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reggie_boy
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(Original post by V.P. Keys)
Easy Leopard, just giving my opinion on your opinion. :rolleyes:

Seriously; the OP chose this particular girl. Why? Something special surely ...
yeah you are right , and as they say love is blind, I just remember chasing girls who used those very words on me (long time ago ) if anything it made me fancy them more, still ended up looking a bit of an idiot in the long run
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Anonymous User
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Thanks for the replies, much appreciated
The thing is that she did tell me about her 'fear' b4, ages ago even before I was properly interested, I jus didnt take what she said at the time seriously.

I mean I think she said something to the effect that having never gone into a relationship, thats why she was afraid.

I guess im trying to reassure myself that this is still workable, so if anyone else had a genuine experience like this (as in the thing not being just an excuse), please enlighten me.
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Dekota
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(Original post by Anonymous)
....please enlighten me.
*pulls torch out*
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Anonymous User
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I can really relate to how this girl feels as I have had a similar situation with a boy in my halls. We have got on well from freshers week and spent loads of time together but mainly watching films, talking, making food, but not "dating". I have got feelings for him and we have cuddled and held hands and texted loads for quite a few weeks and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Now he would be surprised to know that this is what I want, and but somehow when he asked it made me back away and say I just wanted to be friends. Although I'm 18 I have never had a serious boyfriend before, I've just gone out with groups of friends (male/female) and I've never met anyone I've wanted to date exclusively. Anyway we parted from uni as friends and I'm already missing him much more than I thought I would, and can't stop thinking about him. Anyway, to get back to your problem, I just wanted to say that she might be feeling like me and if you really like her then don't give up. I'd say keep in contact over the uni break and you might find that she is feeling that same way I do - however, whether she will admit to it is another story! It does sound to me that she likes you from what you say, so it all depends on whether you think she is worth waiting for. If she replies to your texts/e-mails then I think you can read something into that, because if she was trying to distance herself from you then ignoring messages is the easy way to do it when you are away from each other. Good luck!
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comadeep
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, basically, Ive liked this girl for a while now and i asked her out, luckily she said yes and said she like me as well, and agreed to go out wit me...

That nite however she acted as if nothing has happened has happened which kinda confused me. I asked her about it and she said, while liking me (not jus in a friendship kinda way apprantly), she was scared of relationships, having not had one. And would wanna remain good friends.

I mean does this happen to other ppl? I can see the point of this as stepping into unknown waters, but if ur scared of relationships in general, then how are u ever gonna find any1?

Som1 shed som light on this please, this is really confusing.
i asked out a girl who said no because shes scared of relationships
she was a lying witch
now she's left me scared of relationships
if you want my advice she's either had some really bad experiences with guys in the past or shes lying to you because she doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the real truth...
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Harv616
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Its what some girls do

They do it so they can still stay friends with you but dont have to go out with you :rolleyes:

your better off finding somebody else
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MagicNMedicine
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Yes Im afraid the warning bells ring for me on this one as well. "Im scared of a relationship" can mean that she's scared to add the harsh truth of "with you" on at the end of it. Don't be surprised if she finds someone else and suddenly "isn't scared of a relationship any more"
I once split up with a girl who told me she would rather be single. A few months later she had a new fella and was "really in love with him"
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mini_mad
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Relationships terrify me mainly cz of stuff that has happened with my mum and dad. Started going out with a guy and told him relationships scared me. We went out for eight months and then stuff at home wznt so great for me and i cldnt spend as much time wiv him, and i explained bt he gt annoyed. We argued about it and i had to break it off cz he cldnt cope wiv me nt spending the time wiv him i loved him and i truely believed he loved me bt i refused to go back out with him until things at home gt better he tld me he loved me and that he missed me bt i knew that if the same thing happened he'd get annoyed and then he'd feel bad for being annoyed anyways he tried to convice me to go out with again a few weeks ago cz he wz still in love with me and then a week later gt a new girlfriend. So now I think relationships scare me even more
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Anonymous User
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I can really relate to how this girl feels as I have had a similar situation with a boy in my halls. We have got on well from freshers week and spent loads of time together but mainly watching films, talking, making food, but not "dating". I have got feelings for him and we have cuddled and held hands and texted loads for quite a few weeks and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Now he would be surprised to know that this is what I want, and but somehow when he asked it made me back away and say I just wanted to be friends. Although I'm 18 I have never had a serious boyfriend before, I've just gone out with groups of friends (male/female) and I've never met anyone I've wanted to date exclusively. Anyway we parted from uni as friends and I'm already missing him much more than I thought I would, and can't stop thinking about him. Anyway, to get back to your problem, I just wanted to say that she might be feeling like me and if you really like her then don't give up. I'd say keep in contact over the uni break and you might find that she is feeling that same way I do - however, whether she will admit to it is another story! It does sound to me that she likes you from what you say, so it all depends on whether you think she is worth waiting for. If she replies to your texts/e-mails then I think you can read something into that, because if she was trying to distance herself from you then ignoring messages is the easy way to do it when you are away from each other. Good luck!
Thanks again for the replies!
Yea this is kinda like my situation, its nice to see this from a girls perspective.

She has returned my email, and i called her and we talked quite well and she did ask for my phone number so she could call me back (donno if she will though, she really is quite shy).
I jus donno what to do now, i miss her soo much (lol sad i know but). I could call her again like 1ce or twice a week but that might jus seem needy and annoy her. And im trying to take it slow, as in not leading the convo in that direction, but i donno how slow to take it next term.

I really want this to work, ahh life's such a pain.

(Original post by wannabeavethelp)
Relationships terrify me mainly cz of stuff that has happened with my mum and dad. Started going out with a guy and told him relationships scared me. We went out for eight months and then stuff at home wznt so great for me and i cldnt spend as much time wiv him, and i explained bt he gt annoyed. We argued about it and i had to break it off cz he cldnt cope wiv me nt spending the time wiv him i loved him and i truely believed he loved me bt i refused to go back out with him until things at home gt better he tld me he loved me and that he missed me bt i knew that if the same thing happened he'd get annoyed and then he'd feel bad for being annoyed anyways he tried to convice me to go out with again a few weeks ago cz he wz still in love with me and then a week later gt a new girlfriend. So now I think relationships scare me even more
Jus read this 1, omg didnt realise there r soo many ppl in this situation. I mean ages ago, she did tell me bout somethin in her family that happened b4 that scared her...
I jus didnt realise that this could do so much to som1.
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