Why do people care what other people do?
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I think people have a natural desire to assert their own values as true. To a certain extent, I think people rely on validation from others, and others acting contrary to one's values provides the opposite of validation, and can be felt as if it were criticism. People naturally dislike it when others don't agree with their values, and their reaction to it can range from mild discomfort to outrage, causing them to feel impelled to intervene in a discussion.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
You can't smell at all? Does that affect taste as well?
I can smell, but It takes effort. I think my tastes ok? I do really like strong flavours though so who knows.
Original post by redferry
I can smell, but It takes effort. I think my tastes ok? I do really like strong flavours though so who knows.
That's raelly sad it's from smoking
Everyone in this thread complaining is doing almost exactly the same thing to justify their complaints.
The answer is simple: humans by nature are judgemental and sceptical of others, especially those that are different or do things that differentiate from the norm.
The answer is simple: humans by nature are judgemental and sceptical of others, especially those that are different or do things that differentiate from the norm.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Why would you even spend time thinking about it? 
I'm just a really reflective person.
Original post by redferry
but why would you attack them for it?
I wouldn't, personally. I'm just suggesting that it might be a situation in which people could reasonably be irritated by vegetarianism, even if it's only mild irritation.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
It makes sense, I guess I'm weird because I genuinely don't feel that? 
My mum doesn't either, we've discussed this before and we both really struggle with how some people seem to like it when bad things happen to other people.
I mean, I wouldn't even want something bad to happen to people I dislike
I think it's insecurity as too
My mum doesn't either, we've discussed this before and we both really struggle with how some people seem to like it when bad things happen to other people. I mean, I wouldn't even want something bad to happen to people I dislike
I think it's insecurity as too
It's not wanting bad things to happen to people.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Made this after seeing a few comments in threads. Perticularly along the lines of stay at home mums are lazy (even when she's supporting herself/wealthy enough not to work and not on benefits), vegetarians are stupid (wow, I don't even), people who dress as goths are attention seekers (what are we, 12?), girls who don't shave are "gross"... and it got me thinking...why do people care what other people do if it doesn't affect them? As long as they're not involving me or hurting anyone, I don't give a toss what people want to do 
I'm genuinely curious
I'm genuinely curious
People don't care but that doesn't mean we cant have an opinion about them. I don't care what religious people do so long as it isn't violence or extremist behaviour but I still reject the concept of belief and think religion on a whole is bad.
Similarly, everyone else has their own opinions about anything and everything and they are entitled to it. The great thing about having differing opinions is that you can debate/discuss topics with other people and get to know them, this is the best way to socialise instead of casual chit chat, you actually get to know the person/people.
There are certain things and actions that are good and certain ones that are bad and the only way you can find the difference is through caring/talking and discussing.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous Coward
It's not wanting bad things to happen to people.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
Again though I don't feel this. If someone I knew won the lottery, I'd genuinely be happy for them. It's lovely they'll have a lavish life and be able to do all the things. Why would I be jealous? I don't understand
Would being jealous or nasty make ME a better person? No. So I just carry on doing what makes ME happy and let them do what makes them happy. I think a lot of people are very nasty :/
Original post by Birkenhead
What a load of ****!
You decided you found me annoying, hypocritical, pretentious and generally a pathetic narcissistic emotional leech 2 weeks ago. You now seek to create some distance between your opinion and mine.
I respond to your attack in a desperate attempt to protect my ego from the possibility you may be right.
Original post by Ignorant
People don't care but that doesn't mean we cant have an opinion about them. I don't care what religious people do so long as it isn't violence or extremist behaviour but I still reject the concept of belief and think religion on a whole is bad.
Similarly, everyone else has their own opinions about anything and everything and they are entitled to it. The great thing about having differing opinions is that you can debate/discuss topics with other people and get to know them, this is the best way to socialise instead of casual chit chat, you actually get to know the person/people.
There are certain things and actions that are good and certain ones that are bad and the only way you can find the difference is through caring/talking and discussing.
Similarly, everyone else has their own opinions about anything and everything and they are entitled to it. The great thing about having differing opinions is that you can debate/discuss topics with other people and get to know them, this is the best way to socialise instead of casual chit chat, you actually get to know the person/people.
There are certain things and actions that are good and certain ones that are bad and the only way you can find the difference is through caring/talking and discussing.
You can have opinions on things, but being judgemental because someone disagrees with you is ridiculous
Original post by Anonymous Coward
It's not wanting bad things to happen to people.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
I kind of disagree with this mindset, this sounds like something only weak-minded individuals would come up with. Personally Id be happy for the dude that won the lottery but I would know its not an "achievement" just dumb luck.
As for the brother scenario, I would curse myself for not striving to be the best that I can be and would use my brother as an example to go and achieve something of a similar or an even bigger magnitude.
Original post by Anonymous Coward
It's not wanting bad things to happen to people.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
It's not hoping someone breaks their leg or loses a family member, or anything.
It's hoping that nobody else goes beyond the usual mundane/up-down lifestyle that everyone else has.
Eg. wins the lottery.
How many people would be genuinely happy if someone they knew (not a family member) won enough to live a lavish life? Not most. They'll be very jealous more than likely. They'll grin and smile, but deep inside they wouldn't really mind if that ticket got lost somewhere never to be found. They'd probably laugh if that happened
They don't want something bad to happen to them, but why should they be living a good life when everyone else has the typical (struggle to get by) lifestyle?
If one brother went to an average University and got a 2.2, and the other brother gets a 1st from Cambridge, the 2.2 brother is likely to feel insecure to an extent. Unless he has other things more noteworthy to flaunt, he's the 'lesser' brother.
Now does he wish for his brother to lose a limb? No.
But would he rather his brother hadn't achieved much more and overshadowed him? Yes.
So in other words, the happiness and success of a different person, an Other, can be regarded as a threat to the self.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
That's raelly sad it's from smoking
I'm pretty lucky thats all I got given she didn't give up when she was pregnant.
Original post by TimmonaPortella
I'm just a really reflective person.
I wouldn't, personally. I'm just suggesting that it might be a situation in which people could reasonably be irritated by vegetarianism, even if it's only mild irritation.
I wouldn't, personally. I'm just suggesting that it might be a situation in which people could reasonably be irritated by vegetarianism, even if it's only mild irritation.
My question was why would you attack vegetarianism not why would you be mildly irritated by it
Personally Ill eat meat if someone serves me it.
People are ****. Human nature is of a very jealous character. They care about what you do only if they think you're better than them.....If you're not, they don't give a ****. And this leads to them putting you down because they have no other defense mechanism. That's the first human reaction to jealousy. I'll tell you what helps. If it's bothering you, just think of these people as insecure products of the vile side of human psychology- like a science experiment. It's rather fun, I do it all the time. 
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
You can have opinions on things, but being judgemental because someone disagrees with you is ridiculous
You cant not judge someone, its hard-wired in to the brain, if you are walking the street at night and see 2 tall hooded men walking on the same pathway towards you, would you not cross the road? You could choose to walk the same path but crossing would be a instinctive option that everyone would think up.
Everybody has a right to freedom of expression BUT that also means your opinion can be criticised in fact if it couldn't be criticised It would be dangerous. The criticising of peoples opinions is the only way for a moral, just society. Some opinions are just plain wrong and that is why they must be broken down objectively so that we can come together to find the most appropriate action.
Naturally there are some things where having opinions doesn't effect society like how hot a certain actor/actress is, it really doesn't matter what people think in that case and thus there is no reason to care.
If on the other hand you are devising laws for society then opinions matter and some are better than others. People have this weird idea that their opinions have to be respected which is crazy imo. Your opinion is personal to you and I can think whatever I like about it. I can judge whoever I like because that's the freedom that is given to us, you can't have it both ways, you can't expect to voice an opinion and then expect people to respect it and not criticise it, that''s just not fair.
It's always about offence, "but judging people is offensive!" well so what? as if being offended gives you extra rights?
Original post by Riku
So in other words, the happiness and success of a different person, an Other, can be regarded as a threat to the self.
Yep definitely, in my opinion.
Which would make you feel a bit crappier?
Hearing:
You know Joe from school? Yeah, he won £22 million pounds on Saturday.
or
You know Joe from School? Yeah, he got married on Saturday.
Hearing someone else (who was like you) is now going to (potentially) live a life with wealth 99% of people can only dream of - It'll make you feel a bit crap wont it, when you're just getting by like the next man.
Imagine you then heard constant updates on their successful new businesses and further earnings.
I do believe that we like people to do what we do, and get the results that we get. 'Misery loves company'.
We don't want other people to suffer big time just for giggles and kicks.
But if Lucy (to take a random name) and her friend were always 'fat' together, and the only reason they felt okay about it was because they were both as fat as each other.
Will Lucy truly be happy if suddenly her best friend loses a ton of weight and gets complimented by everyone on it? Not a chance.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Ignorant
You cant not judge someone, its hard-wired in to the brain, if you are walking the street at night and see 2 tall hooded men walking on the same pathway towards you, would you not cross the road? You could choose to walk the same path but crossing would be a instinctive option that everyone would think up.
Everybody has a right to freedom of expression BUT that also means your opinion can be criticised in fact if it couldn't be criticised It would be dangerous. The criticising of peoples opinions is the only way for a moral, just society. Some opinions are just plain wrong and that is why they must be broken down objectively so that we can come together to find the most appropriate action.
Naturally there are some things where having opinions doesn't effect society like how hot a certain actor/actress is, it really doesn't matter what people think in that case and thus there is no reason to care.
If on the other hand you are devising laws for society then opinions matter and some are better than others. People have this weird idea that their opinions have to be respected which is crazy imo. Your opinion is personal to you and I can think whatever I like about it. I can judge whoever I like because that's the freedom that is given to us, you can't have it both ways, you can't expect to voice an opinion and then expect people to respect it and not criticise it, that''s just not fair.
It's always about offence, "but judging people is offensive!" well so what? as if being offended gives you extra rights?
Everybody has a right to freedom of expression BUT that also means your opinion can be criticised in fact if it couldn't be criticised It would be dangerous. The criticising of peoples opinions is the only way for a moral, just society. Some opinions are just plain wrong and that is why they must be broken down objectively so that we can come together to find the most appropriate action.
Naturally there are some things where having opinions doesn't effect society like how hot a certain actor/actress is, it really doesn't matter what people think in that case and thus there is no reason to care.
If on the other hand you are devising laws for society then opinions matter and some are better than others. People have this weird idea that their opinions have to be respected which is crazy imo. Your opinion is personal to you and I can think whatever I like about it. I can judge whoever I like because that's the freedom that is given to us, you can't have it both ways, you can't expect to voice an opinion and then expect people to respect it and not criticise it, that''s just not fair.
It's always about offence, "but judging people is offensive!" well so what? as if being offended gives you extra rights?
I don't agree that opinions should always be respected but I think you're getting the wrong end of it. What I mean is, why would anyone judge someone when it doesn't affect them? Like for not wanting to eat meat?
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Made this after seeing a few comments in threads. Perticularly along the lines of stay at home mums are lazy (even when she's supporting herself/wealthy enough not to work and not on benefits), vegetarians are stupid (wow, I don't even), people who dress as goths are attention seekers (what are we, 12?), girls who don't shave are "gross"... and it got me thinking...why do people care what other people do if it doesn't affect them? As long as they're not involving me or hurting anyone, I don't give a toss what people want to do
I'm genuinely curious
I'm genuinely curious
Well if you're attracted to girls and see a growing number of them not shaving, which you find "gross", you're going to feel threatened by this.
The question of what affects people is far too ambiguous as well. For instance, the spread of Islam may not impact upon you directly, but if you disapprove of it and see more and more people converting than it does. People naturally feel threatened by things that challenge their worldview.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
haha nice 
I'm just curious what makes others think like this. I find humans interesting, but I can't fathom this one out, other than possible bitterness towards the group they're attacking
I'm just curious what makes others think like this. I find humans interesting, but I can't fathom this one out, other than possible bitterness towards the group they're attacking
Original post by Precious Illusions
Basically, people are ********s. You can't just be realising this now surely 
HolyHell, you two look the same. I always wished for two wives, that looked the same.
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