Why would a guy be offended that I stalked his social media?

Firstly, I know it’s dumb. It is what it is, you live and you learn.

I basically saw this hot guy and at an event but never got to converse with him, we were flirting and holding eye contact… very strong eye contact throughout the event and in the next event he tried looking to find me. Unfortunately for us it was with men and women separate and we never got to see each other or talk. We were in our mid teens so yeah.

I never really felt anything that crazy in term of chemistry. I didn’t know his name but I did end up finding him through looking into mutual people we know and their friends list on Facebook. When I recognised him I found his name and from there a quick google search and his other socials were available. His Twitter included his instagram so I got my friend to add his instagram just so I could learn more about him.

Please note that this 3 years after I saw him as I was in relationships in between but often thought of him when I was lonely.

Long story short: I added him on my friends account, I found out he had a gf so nothing came of it. There was no interaction on either account apart from him watching my friend stories. After about 5-6 months I blocked and unblocked on his account so my friend or his account were no longer following each other and that was that. Now one day I’m walking into town and I feel a gaze on me, a very strong one and I know some dude is watching me. I look up and see him, I think he was confused on if it was me or not because it’s been a few years. So he was kind of glaring and confused trying to sue it out, I purposely ignored him as I didn’t recognise him right away and it was uncomfortable. I waited for him to look away and when he did I sneaked a glance and it was him. At this point he’s looking at my friend and he recognises her after a few seconds and turns his head away from us and looks pretty damn angry and offended. Pulling quite dramatic faces in anger.

He has told his brother and his brother is the closest person who knows of me (not personally but I see him every now and then) and he’s also giving me dirty looks.

So I’m asking, why is it a huge deal? He didn’t know my friend but still followed her and accepted her and there were other people he didn’t know either on his insta. Why am I getting named and shamed for it? Was he never interested in me? I mean I’m sure if he did like me he wouldn’t care right? Idk.

Reply 1

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

I think the key word here is 'stalked'. That's not desireable or flattering.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I don't see how this is such a big deal, its not like you attacked him or did anything to hurt him. And so what if you looked at his instagram or his socials. What about celebrities, they have big fans who look at their stories or posts and thats it, nothing else happens. So isn't it the same thing?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

I think the key word here is 'stalked'. That's not desireable or flattering.

Still not really a big deal, even if it’s embarrassing for people to find out

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I don't see how this is such a big deal, its not like you attacked him or did anything to hurt him. And so what if you looked at his instagram or his socials. What about celebrities, they have big fans who look at their stories or posts and thats it, nothing else happens. So isn't it the same thing?

Yep. It’s just embarrassing because I guess his brother found out I had an interest in him and got outed in a strange way since he just happened to be walking past one day.

I understand being shocked like he was but not the anger judgment that followed, his brother looks at me like I’m weird. Like, he wasn’t messaged or anything, didn’t even like his pics. Chill out.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I don't see how this is such a big deal, its not like you attacked him or did anything to hurt him. And so what if you looked at his instagram or his socials. What about celebrities, they have big fans who look at their stories or posts and thats it, nothing else happens. So isn't it the same thing?

I guess what’s hurtful about this for me is I guess they were kind of reacting to the fact that I liked him right? Since that’s the obvious conclusion based on why I would do that, and he just looked angry about it while his brother just looked like he was judging me and always watches me from a far.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

I think the key word here is 'stalked'. That's not desireable or flattering.

I think the issue is the fact that they found out I liked him, because why else would I get my friends to add his account. It would be because I had an interest in him, and the fact that this guy reacted in anger and so strongly disapproved was quite embarrassing. I think I would be able to let it go if it wasn’t for his brother knowing and staring at me from a far and listening in on convos when I talk to people around him, probably because he’s judging me

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

I think the key word here is 'stalked'. That's not desireable or flattering.

Also, you’re saying “stalked” as if I didn’t put it in the title..

Reply 8

Rakas21

21

Once again, I weep for this coming generation.

You clearly want to sleep with him and he probably does too, be direct and speak to him.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rakas21

Once again, I weep for this coming generation.

You clearly want to sleep with him and he probably does too, be direct and speak to him.

Lol, I’ll accept criticism because what I did was stupid. I know that now and I won’t be doing it again to anyone, I just learnt the hard way.

If he was into me why would he be angry and tell his brother?

Reply 10

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

Still not really a big deal, even if it’s embarrassing for people to find out

But they get to decide whether it’s a big deal to them.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Admit-One

But they get to decide whether it’s a big deal to them.

I guess everyone is different. If its me and I found a guy was stalking me on social media or instagram, I wouldn't mind very much. They're not hurting or doing anything to hurt me so why would I care? Its just like normal people viewing your stories/posts. It's thats how they want to spend their time and have some satisfaction, then go ahead. I don't see any reason to be offended.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

But they get to decide whether it’s a big deal to them.

Sure, but it doesn’t make any real sense regardless considering he adds people he doesn’t know all the time. It’s not like he is super private about his life. They do get to be upset about it, I’m just trying to make sense of why because other guys like my cousin who had girls online stalk him literally don’t care.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I guess everyone is different. If its me and I found a guy was stalking me on social media or instagram, I wouldn't mind very much. They're not hurting or doing anything to hurt me so why would I care? Its just like normal people viewing your stories/posts. It's thats how they want to spend their time and have some satisfaction, then go ahead. I don't see any reason to be offended.

I can’t help but feel it’s because it’s me. Like maybe he was just grossed out with the fact that I wanted him? It’s probably my insecurities talking but I know he did want me a few years ago. Maybe I’m just not his type anymore, or he found my friend prettier than me

Reply 14

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

I guess everyone is different. If its me and I found a guy was stalking me on social media or instagram, I wouldn't mind very much. They're not hurting or doing anything to hurt me so why would I care? Its just like normal people viewing your stories/posts. It's thats how they want to spend their time and have some satisfaction, then go ahead. I don't see any reason to be offended.

But it’s not you. And they can decide whether to be offended or not.

Note that you entitled the thread “Why would a guy be offended that I stalked his social media?” and not “Why would a guy be offended that I behaved perfectly normally online?”.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

But it’s not you. And they can decide whether to be offended or not.

Note that you entitled the thread “Why would a guy be offended that I stalked his social media?” and not “Why would a guy be offended that I behaved perfectly normally online?”.

Lol, I’m the OP. That user you’re responding to is someone else.

Reply 16

Rakas21

21

Original post by Anonymous #1

Lol, I’ll accept criticism because what I did was stupid. I know that now and I won’t be doing it again to anyone, I just learnt the hard way.

If he was into me why would he be angry and tell his brother?

Probably because he's getting mixed messages. You've blocked, unblocked, ignored, surveyed.

Many men like myself dislike women who are not straight with them.

If you like the guy, just say hello.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rakas21

Probably because he's getting mixed messages. You've blocked, unblocked, ignored, surveyed.

Many men like myself dislike women who are not straight with them.

If you like the guy, just say hello.

Well after about 30 mins of walking past him and being confused with his reaction my friend decides to tell me she sent another request from her account and declined it… this was a month before we saw him. So it looks like I did want to add him again… cuz he’s going to assume that was me.

I guess that could also be supporting mixed messages though. I unblocked and unblocked so our accounts werent following each other. So the block was for 2 seconds before I unblocked again and he probably hadn’t noticed my friend wasn’t following him or he wasn’t following her until she resent the request a month before we saw him.

We will see what happens in the future, im going to be hesitant to talk to him after his reaction and telling his brother about it

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Rakas21

Probably because he's getting mixed messages. You've blocked, unblocked, ignored, surveyed.

Many men like myself dislike women who are not straight with them.

If you like the guy, just say hello.

Sent another request from her account and He* declined it.