The Student Room Group

Has anyone ever not wanted to engage in anorexia treatment because of how their

Therapist looks?

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Reply 1
Why are you judgemental about how someone looks? That sounds like making an excuse not to engage in treatment.
Reply 2
Original post by Surnia
Why are you judgemental about how someone looks? That sounds like making an excuse not to engage in treatment.

No as in they are a thicc woman and their appearance and without sounding rude "looking fat" (which is my perception of things due to anorexia nervosa, is putting me off getting treatment.
*shrug** They're a therapist, not a fitness coach.
Hi, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with anorexia and that your therapist’s appearance is affecting your motivation to get treatment. Im sorry about the other people being judgemental about what you said .I want to let you know that you’re not alone and that there are many people who care about you and want to help you recover.

Anorexia is a serious mental health condition that can have severe consequences for your physical and emotional well-being. It’s not something that you can overcome by yourself, and it’s not a sign of weakness or failure to seek professional help. In fact, it’s a brave and important step towards healing and happiness.

Treatment for anorexia usually involves a combination of talking therapy and supervised weight gain. The aim of these treatments is to help you understand the causes of your eating problems, feel more comfortable with food, and reach a healthy weight. There are different types of talking therapies available, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults (MANTRA), specialist supportive clinical management (SSCM), or focal psychodynamic therapy. You can talk to your doctor or therapist about which one might suit you best.

Your therapist’s appearance should not be a barrier to your recovery. They are trained and experienced in helping people with eating disorders, and they are not there to judge you or make you feel bad about yourself. They are there to support you, listen to you, and guide you through the treatment process. They may have their own personal reasons for their weight or body shape, but that does not affect their ability or willingness to help you.

I know it can be hard to trust someone when you have anorexia, especially when it comes to food and weight. You may have a distorted image of your own body and of others, and you may fear gaining weight or losing control. But please remember that your therapist is on your side and wants the best for you. They are not trying to make you look like them or anyone else. They are trying to help you find a healthy balance between your mind and body, and to appreciate yourself for who you are.

I hope this helps you feel more comfortable with your therapist and more motivated to engage in treatment. You deserve to be happy and healthy, and you can achieve that with the right support and care. Please don’t give up on yourself or your recovery. You are strong and capable, and you can overcome this challenge.

If you need more information or support, you can visit the websites of eating disorders charities such as Beat (https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/) or NEDA (https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/). You can also call their helplines or chat online with their advisers. They are there to help you anytime you need them.

I wish you all the best in your recovery journey. Take care of yourself. đź’•
Reply 5
Original post by StriderHort
*shrug** They're a therapist, not a fitness coach.

They should at least look decent, I know it makes me come across as rude but due to my anorexia and my perception of things, I probably would never like a body unless they are looking anorexic themselves, or like I prefer hourglass figures on women which not everyone will have, and not be on the chubby side.
Original post by Anonymous
They should at least look decent, I know it makes me come across as rude but due to my anorexia and my perception of things, I probably would never like a body unless they are looking anorexic themselves, or like I prefer hourglass figures on women which not everyone will have, and not be on the chubby side.


No, they have no such obligation, that's in your head and is your problem to work through.
Reply 7
Original post by StriderHort
No, they have no such obligation, that's in your head and is your problem to work through.



A GP told me I may have anorexia and told me my BMI was 13, and she couldn't even sit on her chair and this isn't even due to my anorexia like she seriously couldn't sit on her chair herself so she's one to talk.

There are certain people I do want to look like so I would want to gain weight like my eating disorder psychiatrist who I wouldn't mind looking like or my dietician who I really like the look of and I even told her I want to look like her but the therapist is a put off.
Original post by Anonymous
My therapist was a thicc woman and she does have an hourglass figure but then she just looks big because she has a massive bum and breasts and she just looks "fat" because without sounding racist, she is also a black woman and certain ethnic backgrounds like Somali women or black women tend to have large breasts and bum.

A GP told me I may have anorexia and told me my BMI was 13, and she couldn't even sit on her chair and this isn't even due to my anorexia like she seriously couldn't sit on her chair herself so she's one to talk.

There are certain people I do want to look like so I would want to gain weight like my eating disorder psychiatrist who I wouldn't mind looking like or my dietician who I really like the look of and I even told her I want to look like her but the therapist is a put off.



You are rude and arrogant, if someone wants to help you get better, then you should let them help you without any questions if someone's weight is very unhealthy, whether they are anorexic or obese, they should get immediately help from people, who are qualified to help them.


OP you are delusional and you need to get a grip on reality, I know this is rude, but if you can dish it out, then you should be able to take it as well because if you don't let people help you, then you could potentially die from your anorexia and that would be your fault, because you are resistant from help and have a "Know it all" attitude.


You talking about Black women's body parts is unnecessary and rude, you are just deflecting from your own problems, trying to blame someone else for the problems that you inflicted upon yourself. Who cares if black women have larger assets, as long as they are healthy and aren't obese or anorexic, then why do you care? You are deflecting and being racist, OP.


Why do you want to mock someone for the way they look? I don't think anybody wants to be obese, but nobody wants to be anorexic either. I'm sorry, but people aren't mood boards, so how can you expect them to meet your expectations of an "Ideal body" when you're anorexic and sickly? If you want an hour glass body try too get actually obtain and maintain healthy weight first, because an hourglass figure is hard to acquire and it takes time and dedication to achieve it.


You aren't smart OP and your post shows it, why did you spell thick as 'Thicc'? Do you chronically live online? You are just a hypocrite and who are you to talk about your GP in the way that you have, when you spelt thick as 'Thicc'?
Reply 9
Original post by IFeltHome
You are rude and arrogant, if someone wants to help you get better, then you should let them help you without any questions if someone's weight is very unhealthy, whether they are anorexic or obese, they should get immediately help from people, who are qualified to help them.


OP you are delusional and you need to get a grip on reality, I know this is rude, but if you can dish it out, then you should be able to take it as well because if you don't let people help you, then you could potentially die from your anorexia and that would be your fault, because you are resistant from help and have a "Know it all" attitude.


You talking about Black women's body parts is unnecessary and rude, you are just deflecting from your own problems, trying to blame someone else for the problems that you inflicted upon yourself. Who cares if black women have larger assets, as long as they are healthy and aren't obese or anorexic, then why do you care? You are deflecting and being racist, OP.


Why do you want to mock someone for the way they look? I don't think anybody wants to be obese, but nobody wants to be anorexic either. I'm sorry, but people aren't mood boards, so how can you expect them to meet your expectations of an "Ideal body" when you're anorexic and sickly? If you want an hour glass body try too get actually obtain and maintain healthy weight first, because an hourglass figure is hard to acquire and it takes time and dedication to achieve it.


You aren't smart OP and your post shows it, why did you spell thick as 'Thicc'? Do you chronically live online? You are just a hypocrite and who are you to talk about your GP in the way that you have, when you spelt thick as 'Thicc'?

I can actually spell thick you know. I studied up to AS Level and got top grades even despite health situation holding me back. Someone in this forum told me it's actually thicc in this instance for thicc women. Search it up on Google as well.
Reply 10
Original post by IFeltHome
You are rude and arrogant, if someone wants to help you get better, then you should let them help you without any questions if someone's weight is very unhealthy, whether they are anorexic or obese, they should get immediately help from people, who are qualified to help them.


OP you are delusional and you need to get a grip on reality, I know this is rude, but if you can dish it out, then you should be able to take it as well because if you don't let people help you, then you could potentially die from your anorexia and that would be your fault, because you are resistant from help and have a "Know it all" attitude.


You talking about Black women's body parts is unnecessary and rude, you are just deflecting from your own problems, trying to blame someone else for the problems that you inflicted upon yourself. Who cares if black women have larger assets, as long as they are healthy and aren't obese or anorexic, then why do you care? You are deflecting and being racist, OP.


Why do you want to mock someone for the way they look? I don't think anybody wants to be obese, but nobody wants to be anorexic either. I'm sorry, but people aren't mood boards, so how can you expect them to meet your expectations of an "Ideal body" when you're anorexic and sickly? If you want an hour glass body try too get actually obtain and maintain healthy weight first, because an hourglass figure is hard to acquire and it takes time and dedication to achieve it.


You aren't smart OP and your post shows it, why did you spell thick as 'Thicc'? Do you chronically live online? You are just a hypocrite and who are you to talk about your GP in the way that you have, when you spelt thick as 'Thicc'?

I am never going to get an hour glass figure because I have something that stops me from developing properly and don't use this to insult me. My breasts develop but my bum will never grow despite getting to a healthy weight (if I ever did). I also won't grow that much either and it impacts my weight too much because of the thing that I have that stops me from developing properly. I am only 4 ft 8. I can't get beyond 30kg without problems without
Reply 11
Original post by IFeltHome
You are rude and arrogant, if someone wants to help you get better, then you should let them help you without any questions if someone's weight is very unhealthy, whether they are anorexic or obese, they should get immediately help from people, who are qualified to help them.


OP you are delusional and you need to get a grip on reality, I know this is rude, but if you can dish it out, then you should be able to take it as well because if you don't let people help you, then you could potentially die from your anorexia and that would be your fault, because you are resistant from help and have a "Know it all" attitude.


You talking about Black women's body parts is unnecessary and rude, you are just deflecting from your own problems, trying to blame someone else for the problems that you inflicted upon yourself. Who cares if black women have larger assets, as long as they are healthy and aren't obese or anorexic, then why do you care? You are deflecting and being racist, OP.


Why do you want to mock someone for the way they look? I don't think anybody wants to be obese, but nobody wants to be anorexic either. I'm sorry, but people aren't mood boards, so how can you expect them to meet your expectations of an "Ideal body" when you're anorexic and sickly? If you want an hour glass body try too get actually obtain and maintain healthy weight first, because an hourglass figure is hard to acquire and it takes time and dedication to achieve it.


You aren't smart OP and your post shows it, why did you spell thick as 'Thicc'? Do you chronically live online? You are just a hypocrite and who are you to talk about your GP in the way that you have, when you spelt thick as 'Thicc'?

*Without problems with constipation and my digestive system.
Reply 12
Original post by IFeltHome
Who cares if you got top grades in school for your A levels? You still come across as ignorant, arrogant, condescending and delusional. Get a grip.


If you were really smart, then you wouldn't be saying horrible things about the people who want to help you, this isn't even about their health, that's a separate issue, it's about your health.

People say think about other peoples health and invalidate my feelings so that's what I am doing. I always talk about other people, not to people specifically like not my friends or anything anymore because someone told me off for that and it's rude and judgemental but I just think things to myself and if you talk about yourself in a conversation then you come across as selfish and entitled, in a conversation you are supposed to think of other people, ask them questions and don't say anything about yourself until people ask but speaking about yourself too much would make people invalidate your feelings saying think of other people's health (which is none of my business, it's irrelevant and it's not my concern without sounding selfish, and that doesn't mean my health isn't important just because others have it worse but that's what people say if you speak about yourself too much).
Original post by Anonymous
I am never going to get an hour glass figure because I have something that stops me from developing properly and don't use this to insult me. My breasts develop but my bum will never grow despite getting to a healthy weight (if I ever did). I also won't grow that much either and it impacts my weight too much because of the thing that I have that stops me from developing properly. I am only 4 ft 8. I can't get beyond 30kg without problems without


So why did you say that you want to achieve a hour glass figure if you can't achieve that? Are you sure that's the case, if so, how do you know?


What do you mean that you can't get beyond 30kg without any problems? I don't understand.
Reply 14
Original post by IFeltHome
Who cares if you got top grades in school for your A levels? You still come across as ignorant, arrogant, condescending and delusional. Get a grip.


If you were really smart, then you wouldn't be saying horrible things about the people who want to help you, this isn't even about their health, that's a separate issue, it's about your health.

In a conversation with an advisor I would always speak about other peoples situations like my siblings situation and not my own situation or my neighbours situation, I always think of others.
Reply 15
Original post by IFeltHome
So why did you say that you want to achieve a hour glass figure if you can't achieve that? Are you sure that's the case, if so, how do you know?


What do you mean that you can't get beyond 30kg without any problems? I don't understand.

I didn't say I want to achieve an hour glass figure. Due to my perception of things with anorexia, I also see hour glass figure as being fat so I wouldn't want it on myself, I said I prefer it but I didn't say I want it on myself because of how critical I am on myself. I do like to imagine it though, like yes I think people look fat but it still looks good.

I have a rare genetic growth disorder which means I don't grow well and as you can imagine it impacts my height as well as weight but it impacts my weight a lot. I can't get above 30kg without issues and it doesn't matter if I change my diet, it doesn't change the way my body is built. Like when I was younger when I was 7 I was 19.1kg and if you have asymmetry with my condition your BMI can be as low as 13 and symmetry your BMI could be higher. I do have asymmetry and I am sure I can survive on a BMI of 13.
Original post by Anonymous
People say think about other peoples health and invalidate my feelings so that's what I am doing. I always talk about other people, not to people specifically like not my friends or anything anymore because someone told me off for that and it's rude and judgemental but I just think things to myself and if you talk about yourself in a conversation then you come across as selfish and entitled, in a conversation you are supposed to think of other people, ask them questions and don't say anything about yourself until people ask but speaking about yourself too much would make people invalidate your feelings saying think of other people's health (which is none of my business, it's irrelevant and it's not my concern without sounding selfish, and that doesn't mean my health isn't important just because others have it worse but that's what people say if you speak about yourself too much).


Huh? You said you were smart, but your post literally makes no sense.



How about this? Stop focussing on other people's weight and health, and just focus on their own, they are responsible for their life choices and if they make the wrong ones that's on them, but if you see a loved one suffering from curable health condition or you work in the medical industry, then I would hope someone would intervene and help open their eyes, rather than ignore the problem and enable them, but ultimately an individual is responsible for their own life choices.
Reply 17
Original post by IFeltHome
Your way of thinking is nonsensical because you are not addressing your own problems, you are making a hypothetical situation, even though your health concerns are real, it's just so stupid to remove yourself from your own narrative.


Listen, you either take the advice or not, that's up to you, but don't expect people to be considerate of you, when you aren't this way for other people.


I used to think that I was the dumb one, which I probably still am, but your responses are genuinely disgusting and shocking, it feels like you're a lost cause that cannot be helped.

I don't insult people to their face or even to anyone if that's what you are implying. I meant with a work advisor I wouldn't speak about whether I am able to work, I would speak about my siblings or neighbours.
Reply 18
Original post by IFeltHome
Your way of thinking is nonsensical because you are not addressing your own problems, you are making a hypothetical situation, even though your health concerns are real, it's just so stupid to remove yourself from your own narrative.


Listen, you either take the advice or not, that's up to you, but don't expect people to be considerate of you, when you aren't this way for other people.


I used to think that I was the dumb one, which I probably still am, but your responses are genuinely disgusting and shocking, it feels like you're a lost cause that cannot be helped.

So you are saying I should be selfish and talk about myself, think about myself (whilst others see this as a flaw), and I shouldn't be caring and asking people questions, thinking about them and showing sympathy for them for what they are going through (whether health or whatever issues they may have), ask them if they are okay and take an interest in their lives by asking them questions?
Original post by Anonymous
Therapist looks?


Hi, I can't answer the question but I have seen your comments and they're quite blunt, it might be worth withholding information we don't need to know, such as the fact the woman is black; the correlation you are stating with reference to ethnicity & specific body types does not matter in this case.

I can't answer your initial question, sorry, but in my opinion it's worth being honest about your feelings to your therapist. They've had the most representative view of what people like you may feel and might be able to help you through your perception of others; withholding information like this may prevent the therapist from being able to help in the way that best suits you. I cant give very good advice just thought id give this perspective. Good luck

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