Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

How would you feel if you had a gay roommate in university?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 40

aneducation

I'd have an issue with the roommate being homophobic?

Reply 41

Anonymous #2

Original post by Kittyboy

Why are you asking us? It's going to be about whether your room-mate is homophobic or not :smile:

why is it homophobic to have an issue sharing with a gay man?

is it sexist for a woman to not want to share with a man?

Reply 42

alhassan1

If you behave its ok but if not prepare for something else :smile:

Reply 43

grassntai

Original post by alhassan1

If you behave its ok but if not prepare for something else :smile:

what counts as misbehaviour? And what is this 'something else' you're talking about?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 44

Juichiro

Original post by Moonstruck16

No I mean they came over like everyday :tongue:

Though she did share a bed withone of her mates often and I'm pretty sure they have something going on. That being said, they could have just been really good friends.

One of my other flatmates, however, had the experience of his roommate having sex whilst he was also in the room. They were both heterosexual though.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Still awkward though... :tongue:

Reply 45

alhassan1

I would have to stay up all night if you made a pass at me :smile:

Reply 46

Danny the Geezer

I find the whole room sharing thing very draconian, indeed I thought it was obselete in the UK.

Reply 47

alhassan1

Original post by grassntai

what counts as misbehaviour? And what is this 'something else' you're talking about?

posted from tsr mobile

am not a gay so i will be offended if a fellow has to stuck on me for a date :smile:

Reply 48

grassntai

Original post by alhassan1

am not a gay so i will be offended if a fellow has to stuck on me for a date :smile:

That's like saying just because you're friends with a girl you're automatically going to be sexually attracted to each other and have sexual intercourse.

Posted from TSR Mobile

happy

Original post by Juichiro

Still awkward though... :tongue:

Yeah I think in his case awkward is an understatement :wink:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 51

Juichiro

Original post by Danny the Geezer

I find the whole room sharing thing very draconian, indeed I thought it was obselete in the UK.

Certainly not in London, particularly in Central London unis like UCL.

Reply 52

Danny the Geezer

Original post by Juichiro

Certainly not in London, particularly in Central London unis like UCL.

Ahhhhh.

Reply 53

vis break

Original post by Roving Fish

Many people aren't actually offended. If you're mates then you have more banter about it. But then again it's down to the individual. My mates can banter until I let them know they crossed a line. :h:

No that's what I mean, if you just move in you're not mates. The problem with me is I will banter you if we are friends, but everyone has their own limit.

Reply 54

colourtheory

Original post by joey11223

tbh you don't have to exactly advertise your sexuality anyway, in that I'd probably find it more odd if my roommate introduced himself in the style of "Hi my name is X, I'm gay, hope that's okay" lol. Act as you would normally, when you discuss relationships at some point, you discuss your boyfriend, or if single, sexuality in general.

To be honest, sexuality is a big part of someone's identity. I'm gay and most of my friends are LGBTQIA+ and we spend a lot of time together. We talk about a lot of different things, but also problems that affect our community (such as equal marriage, societal mechanisms of oppression, intersectionality etc,). Sometimes it's even as simple as talking about having a crush on someone. I would rather be honest with my room mate (if I had one) because it's a matter of time until they find out, so there isn't any point avoiding the topic.

OP:
By talking about it openly with your room mate you can make alternative arrangements if they feel uncomfortable sharing a room with you. If they're uncomfortable with a gay room mate, then there's no point having that kind of un-harmonious energy around you in a place that is supposed to be your refuge from the stresses of university. It's one of those things that LGBTQIA+ people have to deal with (and I'm not saying it's fair at all; ideally everyone would just accept us for who we are). But as I say, it's something you have to be comfortable with too. If your room mate has an issue with it, then find someone who you'll get on with and who'll support you and make you feel good about who you are.

If there's an issue contact your accommodation services (they should be all to happy to help).

You have as much agency as your room mate. If they don't like you for who you are, then forget it and move on :smile:

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how welcoming most people are.

Reply 55

AvaAdore

I can think of nothing worse than having a roommate at uni who you didn't know before moving in, sexuality completely irrelevant though.

Reply 56

AvaAdore

Original post by alhassan1

I would have to stay up all night if you made a pass at me :smile:

Um why? In case they rape you in your sleep?! Grow up

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 57

TheCanuck

Had a gay roommate for a bit in Highschool, could not care less.

Reply 58

joey11223

Original post by colourtheory

I didn't say avoid the topic tbf, I just meant it would seem odd to me if it's thrown out when I first met them, as It would make me feel they have some sort of issue with their sexuality. "Hi I'm Ben....I'm gay, that's okay with you right?....right?...please say yes", lol. I mean the topic of boyfriends/girlfriends, pulling at clubs is likely to occur pretty soon after meeting anyway, so I'm not saying shrug them off, just, say it when you actually get to the topic. I wouldn't introduce myself as "hey I'm a heterosexual with a long term girlfriend, never been bi-curious, have kinks, though I don't want a golden shower, and you?". Sexuality is important sure, but it's not you in your entirety.

Though of course if you have a heterosexual roommate (likely), you're probably not as likely to keep striking up conversations about problems in the LGBT (and the others) community, especially oppression, as it'll make you seem a tad militant when the majority of this generation do not oppress homosexuals.