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How can I improve this sentence?

Power could also be used wisely as shown in the behaviour of King Duncan in the beginning of the play.

Could I replace 'shown' with 'portrayed'?
What could I replace 'behaviour' with?
Place a comma after wisely, showing that you have the ability to use various sentence types.
Original post by Mayhem™
Place a comma after wisely, showing that you have the ability to use various sentence types.

The whole sentence is ' Power can be used in an unjust manner, which is shown in the behaviour of Macbeth as the play progresses, however, it could also be used wisely, also shown in King Duncan before he is mercilessly murdered by Macbeth.
I feel like there's too much commas?
Original post by ohitsesther_
The whole sentence is ' Power can be used in an unjust manner, which is shown in the behaviour of Macbeth as the play progresses, however, it could also be used wisely, also shown in King Duncan before he is mercilessly murdered by Macbeth.
I feel like there's too much commas?


Oh right, swap the comma after wisely for the word 'as'.

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