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Can anyone mark this Macbeth essay and give me a mark out of 30 please?

Hi, so i rewrote my essay to improve it, i was wondering what i would get out of 30 and how to improve it?


How does Shakespeare present Macbeth and Lady Macbeth's relationship?


Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth and Macbeth’s relationship as unstable. At the start of the play, they appear to be loving partners, however the constant power struggle Slowly deteriorates their relationship until it becomes one of convenience rather than love. Shakespeare uses the character of Lady Macbeth to explore the effect that power dynamics in a relationship have on mental state


At the start of the play, in the letter Macbeth sends to his wife, he regards her as "my dearest partner", The noun "partner" suggests Macbeth views his wife as his equal, it also has connotations of a collaboration or partnership implying that they are both devoted, and both contribute equally to their relationship. Macbeth also uses endearing language such as "dearest" towards his wife which displays their loving relationship. However, an alternative interpretation is that although Macbeth uses endearing language, Lady Macbeth does not seem to show any affection back. Although perhaps she shows it in another way, like trying to help Macbeth become king.


From this point on, Lady Macbeth takes charge and leads Macbeth as She thinks he cannot achieve it on his own. She is worried that he is. too "full with the milk of huma Kindness", "Milk" has connotation of nurture and motherhood, the colour White symbolizes innocence and purity, these are stereotypically female traits, Lady Macbeth. starts to grow frustrated with Macbeth's incompetence calling him a "Coward" and belittling him, this is perhaps because he serves as a reminder of her own feminine traits that are restricting her from achieving her ambition. This is further evidenced when she says, "unsex me here", Lady Macbeth wants to rid he self or feminine traits such as kindness and love and perhaps also wants to rid herself of the societal restrictions of being a woman as well. All of this leads to Lady Macbeth needing Macbeth to achieve her ambitions as he is a man, and it is therefore easier for him to carry out the deed. This is why lady Macbeth resorts to mockery and manipulation because she so desperately wants the crown, but Macbeth's kind nature is in the way.


At this point in the play, it is clear that the power has shifted to lady Macbeth as she commands her husband and orchestrates the murder, using language such demanding and assertive language such as "Give me” and "Go" to further assert dominance. When Lady Macbeth was in control of Macbeth, she was also in a way in control of herself. As the only thing that was keeping her sane, was the illusion of being in control, in act 2 scene 2, when Macbeth experiences guilt directly after the murder, many argue that Lady Macbeth. feels no guilt until the end, however when faced with Macbeth' guilt, lady Macbeth speaks in short abrupt sentences perhaps hinting at her panic it at being exposed to Macbeths open display of guilt that is at a reflection of her own. By telling Macbeth, "A little water clears us of this deed", she is also reassuring herself. That is why when Macbeth goes rogue ad and reclaims the power in their relationship, Lady Macbeth can no longer cope as the illusion of being in control falls and Lady Macbeth is left with unbearable guilt as she can no longer use Macbeth to escape herself. This eventually leads to her death.


Macbeth reclaims control in the relation as he acts out on his own. and makes the decision to kill Banquo without telling Lady Macbeth. When Lady Macbeth dies, Macbeth shows no emotion or care, this reaction marks the death of their once loving relationship.

Lady Macbeth and Macbeth had faced a tragic recent event before pursuing the throne, the death of their baby. Lady Macbeth says, "I have given suck" implying that she has breastfed a baby before, and recently because she still has milk. Shakespeare uses this to emphasize the tragedy of Macbeth and his downfall. Although the Jacobean audience at the time would feel no pathos for Macbeth as they are so horrified with the acts of regicide, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth evoke a feeling of pathos within the modern audience as they do not fear regicide but could perhaps empathize with Macbeth as both he and Lady Macbeth faced tragedy after tragedy until their deaths. Perhaps Shakespeare not only does this is to of course appeal to the king as it shows the consequences of disobeying the great chain of being but also to utilize their relationship and how they interact with each other to explore how different power dynamics have an effect on their relationship and psychology.
Original post by gompachirochan
Hi, so i rewrote my essay to improve it, i was wondering what i would get out of 30 and how to improve it?


How does Shakespeare present Macbeth and Lady Macbeth's relationship?


Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth and Macbeth’s relationship as unstable. At the start of the play, they appear to be loving partners, however the constant power struggle Slowly deteriorates their relationship until it becomes one of convenience rather than love. Shakespeare uses the character of Lady Macbeth to explore the effect that power dynamics in a relationship have on mental state


At the start of the play, in the letter Macbeth sends to his wife, he regards her as "my dearest partner", The noun "partner" suggests Macbeth views his wife as his equal, it also has connotations of a collaboration or partnership implying that they are both devoted, and both contribute equally to their relationship. Macbeth also uses endearing language such as "dearest" towards his wife which displays their loving relationship. However, an alternative interpretation is that although Macbeth uses endearing language, Lady Macbeth does not seem to show any affection back. Although perhaps she shows it in another way, like trying to help Macbeth become king.


From this point on, Lady Macbeth takes charge and leads Macbeth as She thinks he cannot achieve it on his own. She is worried that he is. too "full with the milk of huma Kindness", "Milk" has connotation of nurture and motherhood, the colour White symbolizes innocence and purity, these are stereotypically female traits, Lady Macbeth. starts to grow frustrated with Macbeth's incompetence calling him a "Coward" and belittling him, this is perhaps because he serves as a reminder of her own feminine traits that are restricting her from achieving her ambition. This is further evidenced when she says, "unsex me here", Lady Macbeth wants to rid he self or feminine traits such as kindness and love and perhaps also wants to rid herself of the societal restrictions of being a woman as well. All of this leads to Lady Macbeth needing Macbeth to achieve her ambitions as he is a man, and it is therefore easier for him to carry out the deed. This is why lady Macbeth resorts to mockery and manipulation because she so desperately wants the crown, but Macbeth's kind nature is in the way.


At this point in the play, it is clear that the power has shifted to lady Macbeth as she commands her husband and orchestrates the murder, using language such demanding and assertive language such as "Give me” and "Go" to further assert dominance. When Lady Macbeth was in control of Macbeth, she was also in a way in control of herself. As the only thing that was keeping her sane, was the illusion of being in control, in act 2 scene 2, when Macbeth experiences guilt directly after the murder, many argue that Lady Macbeth. feels no guilt until the end, however when faced with Macbeth' guilt, lady Macbeth speaks in short abrupt sentences perhaps hinting at her panic it at being exposed to Macbeths open display of guilt that is at a reflection of her own. By telling Macbeth, "A little water clears us of this deed", she is also reassuring herself. That is why when Macbeth goes rogue ad and reclaims the power in their relationship, Lady Macbeth can no longer cope as the illusion of being in control falls and Lady Macbeth is left with unbearable guilt as she can no longer use Macbeth to escape herself. This eventually leads to her death.


Macbeth reclaims control in the relation as he acts out on his own. and makes the decision to kill Banquo without telling Lady Macbeth. When Lady Macbeth dies, Macbeth shows no emotion or care, this reaction marks the death of their once loving relationship.

Lady Macbeth and Macbeth had faced a tragic recent event before pursuing the throne, the death of their baby. Lady Macbeth says, "I have given suck" implying that she has breastfed a baby before, and recently because she still has milk. Shakespeare uses this to emphasize the tragedy of Macbeth and his downfall. Although the Jacobean audience at the time would feel no pathos for Macbeth as they are so horrified with the acts of regicide, Lady Macbeth and Macbeth evoke a feeling of pathos within the modern audience as they do not fear regicide but could perhaps empathize with Macbeth as both he and Lady Macbeth faced tragedy after tragedy until their deaths. Perhaps Shakespeare not only does this is to of course appeal to the king as it shows the consequences of disobeying the great chain of being but also to utilize their relationship and how they interact with each other to explore how different power dynamics have an effect on their relationship and psychology.


Very good. I would say 19/30
Original post by propergoodman
Very good. I would say 19/30


Thank you!!! :biggrin:
Also could anyone please give some feedback so i can improve my essay? :h:
Reply 4
@gompachirochan
Hi, I'm not sure what the marking scheme is so I can’t give you a specific grade, but these are my two cents regarding your essay. I am by no means an expert in English or literature.


General Comments:
-Fix punctuations, and grammar (running it through a grammar-checking website should help)
-Identify the technique used in quotes
-Mention what act and scene your quotes are in, brackets with line numbers

First paragraph:
-Not sure if your school requires it, but a brief summary or introduction to Macbeth could help. A hook can be added if needed as well to lure the reader (examiner) and is a great addition to show your abilities in writing.

-In your thesis, you should state your points since without mentioning your points it makes the overall structure of your essay confusing (it’s hard to keep track of your essay’s progression and how it all connects)

-The focus should not only be on Lady Macbeth (as your research question is about their relationship, which should be both sides of the story)

Second paragraph:
-Start with a thesis statement (point of the paragraph)

-The close analysis/zooming in on the words is great!

-The scene was also contextualised well

- I like how you start the paragraph, it’s a subtle transition

-Quote was embedded nicely

- You use a lot of “like” and can benefit from using other transition words, something like however/although "such as" could be substituted in sparingly

-“However, an alternative interpretation is that although Macbeth uses endearing language, Lady Macbeth does not seem to show any affection back. Although perhaps she shows it in another way, like trying to help Macbeth become king.” This should be backed up with evidence, especially where you mentioned that “Lady Macbeth does not seem to show any affection back.” Quite a weak analysis here, but should be better when a quote is embedded and an analysis is given based on the quote

Third paragraph:
-Again, the quote is embedded nicely, and great analysis and zooming in

-A link to how 11th century Scotland was at the time and gender roles would be beneficial since the question was about their relationship.

-"White symbolizes innocence and purity, these are stereotypically female traits, Lady Macbeth." Elaboration on stereotypical female traits.

- "...Lady Macbeth wants to rid herself of feminine traits such as kindness and love and perhaps also wants to rid herself of the societal restrictions of being a woman as well. " Specifying said societal restrictions would be great.

-"All of this leads to Lady Macbeth needing Macbeth to achieve her ambitions as he is a man, and it is, therefore, easier for him to carry out the deed." I’m not sure this is entirely correct. It might be correct, but she also does mention that she didn’t do it herself because Duncan looked like her father (when sleeping?). We’re not sure if she’s lying, but this could be taken into consideration when rewriting this sentence.

-"This is why Lady Macbeth resorts to mockery and manipulation because she so desperately wants the crown, but Macbeth's kind nature is in the way." Your point for this paragraph could be more about how their relationship deviates from the regular relationships at the time and how Lady Macbeth is more dominant over Macbeth. Their relationship challenges societal norms.

-Shorten your sentences, as mentioned before multiple punctuation errors could be corrected to convey clarity. Rewording some sentences would also improve your paragraph.

-Overall, this paragraph has good quotes and some valid points, but the analysis could be directed towards another way (stereotypical relationship) so that it better fits your research question

Fourth paragraph:

-You use “At this point”, but it would be helpful if you provided a summary of what point of the play

-I think the "give me" and "go" are good quotes but as mentioned, a bit more context would help.

“At this point in the play, it is clear that the power has shifted to Lady Macbeth as she commands her husband and orchestrates the murder, using language such demanding and assertive language such as "Give me” and "Go" to further assert dominance.” this should be in the previous paragraph as it is still showing Lady Macbeth’s dominance.

-I don’t think "many argue that Lady Macbeth. feels no guilt until the end "needs to be mentioned, as it’s your essay.

-"Lady Macbeth speaks in short abrupt sentences perhaps hinting at her panic at being exposed to Macbeth's open display of guilt that is a reflection of her own." Please embed a quote here to support your point. “Perhaps” is also a weak choice of diction.

-“By telling Macbeth, "A little water clears us of this deed", she is also reassuring herself.” There might be stronger quotes, but this paragraph can be entirely rewritten. If you were to use this quote though, you can zoom in on “little”, or on how water is linked to guilt and how they each face guilt. But that quote here doesn’t have a lot to do with their relationship dynamic as a whole.

-"That is why when Macbeth goes rogue ad and reclaims the power in their relationship," [going] rogue” is not entirely correct, he wanted to hold on to his power and was afraid of being found guilty

-“Lady Macbeth can no longer cope as the illusion of being in control falls and Lady Macbeth is left with unbearable guilt as she can no longer use Macbeth to escape herself. This eventually leads to her death.” Also not entirely correct.

-All in all, I’m not sure what the point of this paragraph is, since your last paragraph also mentions how the power is in Lady Macbeth’s hands.

Fifth paragraph:
-This is a strong example of how their relationship is changing. This is where Macbeth keeps things from Lady Macbeth where Macbeth now does things without Lady Macbeth, unlike earlier scenes. You could compare and juxtapose these two moments and the shift in power dynamics and who is making the decisions. You can also look at how Macbeth withholds information from Lady Macbeth.

-Please quote from this part of the play and do a close analysis, a lot can be expanded on here. This can be developed into an entire paragraph.

Sixth paragraph:
-The last paragraph also says she had a baby, but it is not confirmed and is only implied in the play. There is no sign of a child in the play, maybe it died but we are not told anything. I’m also not sure of how much this shows in their relationship.

-You mentioned “appeal to the king” and “Jacobean audience”, but since there hasn’t been any or sufficient mention of historical context, it seems sudden to add that in. I don't know what's the point of effect on the audience and it's not supporting your point of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s relationship.

-"No pathos for Macbeth" specifying the exact emotions that were evoked in the audience would be better. If you were to mention the tragic events, it should be more focused on how certain tragic events affect Macbeth (since Lady Macbeth doesn’t really appear much in the middle of the play) How does Lady Macbeth’s death affect Macbeth?

-Use of "perhaps" again, and I would recommend you use something else like “exemplify”, “such as” etc.

- A summary of your essay is needed for your conclusion. Although the last sentence does seem like a conclusion, it’s not specific enough.

Some extra stuff that you may want to consider:
-At the feast after Banquo died, Macbeth hallucinates Banquo’s ghost. It was also Lady Macbeth who pulled Macbeth out. Maybe something could be expanded on there.

-There are also more direct quotes where Lady Macbeth orders and manipulates Macbeth which you might want to check out.

- Guilt and effects of the murders committed by Macbeth (and indirectly Lady Macbeth) could be mentioned, but there isn’t a direct correlation to their relationship

-You can also look at marital estrangement, lack of affection, and physical separation as opposed to earlier when they greet each other after Macbeth returns from battle and how they plan the murder together

Personal Conclusion:
Overall, you have a good foundation for your essay. It would help if you sustained the close analysis you did in the second and start of the third paragraph. Make sure you stick closer to your thesis/RQ since you tend to stray a bit far with some of your points. You can do this by rewording some of your sentences so they link back to your main idea of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s relationship. You have also provided good contextualisation for your second paragraph, so you should continue to do that in the rest of your paragraphs to introduce your points since some paragraphs lack this setup. The punctuations in your essay should also be fixed. Hope this helps!
(edited 9 months ago)
@Wormington
Thank youu soo much, this really helped with finding my weaknesses and it helped me improve a lot !!! :grin:

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