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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre
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My boyfriend is home for 6 weeks in 2 days and I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!
naughtyhamster
My boyfriend is home for 6 weeks in 2 days and I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!
lucky !
Mine will come in a week and we 'll be together for four weeks ( 2 in Greece and 2 in England )
naughtyhamster
My boyfriend is home for 6 weeks in 2 days and I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!
2 days and then he's home for a month
Sooo happy!
I know its not the wisest thing to go straight into an LDR (more or less long) as a first relationship, but it just happened.
So I've been with my girlfriend for almost two months now, and when we're together everything is perfect, we love each other and we get along perfect, she lives ~2hours away and we try to see each other every week or fortnight.
However recently she's been very busy with her GCSE coursework, and I THINK I trust her on it, but I;m just getting too wound up about it and paranoid.
She doesn;t have much time to talk and we only get to have a short few words to each other or a text or two a day over the past week, and not as bad over the weeks before.
But just that I'm not a busy person, Im a less hard working one and in my A-levels and i'm always hoping to get to talk to her on msn or something, but it just doesn't happen and i take it badly.
Any insight as to my problems? Is it my trust? Is she in the wrong with communicating (ive mentioned it before seriously and we discussed that she is very busy and doesnt mean to be so sparce in communicating)
Just any advice or encouragement would be nice, its my first relationship and she seems too perfect ^_^;
So I've been with my girlfriend for almost two months now, and when we're together everything is perfect, we love each other and we get along perfect, she lives ~2hours away and we try to see each other every week or fortnight.
However recently she's been very busy with her GCSE coursework, and I THINK I trust her on it, but I;m just getting too wound up about it and paranoid.
She doesn;t have much time to talk and we only get to have a short few words to each other or a text or two a day over the past week, and not as bad over the weeks before.
But just that I'm not a busy person, Im a less hard working one and in my A-levels and i'm always hoping to get to talk to her on msn or something, but it just doesn't happen and i take it badly.
Any insight as to my problems? Is it my trust? Is she in the wrong with communicating (ive mentioned it before seriously and we discussed that she is very busy and doesnt mean to be so sparce in communicating)
Just any advice or encouragement would be nice, its my first relationship and she seems too perfect ^_^;
Hi Anon 80
My guy was my first proper relationship too (apart from a stupid fling that went wrong that only lasted a week) and we were in an international LDR from the start. We now live together and have been together for just over four years. It can work regardless of whether or not it is 'wise'!
I think any problems you're having are due to a combination of a lack of trust (let's face it - LDRs take effort, and she wouldn't be making said effort if she were playing away, would she?) and a lack of things to do. Think of something you've always wanted to do, and do it, whether it's learning to fence or rock climbing, learning a new language, joining a swimming pool or an orchestra... Then, not only will you have other sources of fulfilment in your life, you'll also have more to talk to her about when you do speak
Hope that helps
My guy was my first proper relationship too (apart from a stupid fling that went wrong that only lasted a week) and we were in an international LDR from the start. We now live together and have been together for just over four years. It can work regardless of whether or not it is 'wise'!
I think any problems you're having are due to a combination of a lack of trust (let's face it - LDRs take effort, and she wouldn't be making said effort if she were playing away, would she?) and a lack of things to do. Think of something you've always wanted to do, and do it, whether it's learning to fence or rock climbing, learning a new language, joining a swimming pool or an orchestra... Then, not only will you have other sources of fulfilment in your life, you'll also have more to talk to her about when you do speak
Hope that helps
help please? my boyfriend lives like 5 hours away, and ive had a countdown on for the day he comes home to see me again from university (next friday) but now hes going out like every night, and hes telling me he wont be home for longer cos his friend is giving him a lift home, save him bringing all his books on the train.
I trust him and i know that this is the truth, its been 3 years tomorrow since we first got together, and i love him with all of my heart.
you dont think hes going off me do you? i really hope not! its so hard being in an LDR.
strength to all of your relationships.x
I trust him and i know that this is the truth, its been 3 years tomorrow since we first got together, and i love him with all of my heart.
you dont think hes going off me do you? i really hope not! its so hard being in an LDR.
strength to all of your relationships.x
Anonymous
I know its not the wisest thing to go straight into an LDR (more or less long) as a first relationship, but it just happened.
So I've been with my girlfriend for almost two months now, and when we're together everything is perfect, we love each other and we get along perfect, she lives ~2hours away and we try to see each other every week or fortnight.
However recently she's been very busy with her GCSE coursework, and I THINK I trust her on it, but I;m just getting too wound up about it and paranoid.
She doesn;t have much time to talk and we only get to have a short few words to each other or a text or two a day over the past week, and not as bad over the weeks before.
But just that I'm not a busy person, Im a less hard working one and in my A-levels and i'm always hoping to get to talk to her on msn or something, but it just doesn't happen and i take it badly.
Any insight as to my problems? Is it my trust? Is she in the wrong with communicating (ive mentioned it before seriously and we discussed that she is very busy and doesnt mean to be so sparce in communicating)
Just any advice or encouragement would be nice, its my first relationship and she seems too perfect ^_^;
So I've been with my girlfriend for almost two months now, and when we're together everything is perfect, we love each other and we get along perfect, she lives ~2hours away and we try to see each other every week or fortnight.
However recently she's been very busy with her GCSE coursework, and I THINK I trust her on it, but I;m just getting too wound up about it and paranoid.
She doesn;t have much time to talk and we only get to have a short few words to each other or a text or two a day over the past week, and not as bad over the weeks before.
But just that I'm not a busy person, Im a less hard working one and in my A-levels and i'm always hoping to get to talk to her on msn or something, but it just doesn't happen and i take it badly.
Any insight as to my problems? Is it my trust? Is she in the wrong with communicating (ive mentioned it before seriously and we discussed that she is very busy and doesnt mean to be so sparce in communicating)
Just any advice or encouragement would be nice, its my first relationship and she seems too perfect ^_^;
You should definately talk to her about this, what exactly is she so busy with?
Im sure she can find at least 1 hr every day to spend with you on phone/online
I really believe communication is vital in a LDR, to make sure you are both still a part of each others lives.
angelil, thanks a lot for the advice, I'll take it on board ^_^,
but to have to ask again, just had a reply from her to a long-winded nice email
On top of having barely talked at all recently, she basically ignored all I had said in my email and replied bluntly with something else T_T
She knows well that I can't travel anywhere in the next few weeks and she replied saying that we should meet 'soandsowhere' next weekend and that it'd be nice and that shes in a bad mood from work right now
Is this a sign of anything bad? Or am I just being completely paranoid?
Its jsut you mentioned 'her putting in the effort' but it doesn't seem like it any more, especially with this.
Sorry again, but i;m probably looking too deep
but to have to ask again, just had a reply from her to a long-winded nice email
On top of having barely talked at all recently, she basically ignored all I had said in my email and replied bluntly with something else T_T
She knows well that I can't travel anywhere in the next few weeks and she replied saying that we should meet 'soandsowhere' next weekend and that it'd be nice and that shes in a bad mood from work right now
Is this a sign of anything bad? Or am I just being completely paranoid?
Its jsut you mentioned 'her putting in the effort' but it doesn't seem like it any more, especially with this.
Sorry again, but i;m probably looking too deep
az08
You should definately talk to her about this, what exactly is she so busy with?
Im sure she can find at least 1 hr every day to spend with you on phone/online
I really believe communication is vital in a LDR, to make sure you are both still a part of each others lives.
Im sure she can find at least 1 hr every day to spend with you on phone/online
I really believe communication is vital in a LDR, to make sure you are both still a part of each others lives.
Her GCSE coursework =_=
Yeah, i'm not going to post anon any more.
I think exactly the same way about there must be some time but... I just don't know...
Guy-kun
Her GCSE coursework =_=
Yeah, i'm not going to post anon any more.
I think exactly the same way about there must be some time but... I just don't know...
Yeah, i'm not going to post anon any more.
I think exactly the same way about there must be some time but... I just don't know...
How long does GCSE coursework even take?
I don't actually remember, but it can't be that long!
like, a week or two... I really can't remember and I just can't rest inside with all this worrying constantly >_>
Guy-kun
angelil, thanks a lot for the advice, I'll take it on board ^_^,
but to have to ask again, just had a reply from her to a long-winded nice email
On top of having barely talked at all recently, she basically ignored all I had said in my email and replied bluntly with something else T_T
She knows well that I can't travel anywhere in the next few weeks and she replied saying that we should meet 'soandsowhere' next weekend and that it'd be nice and that shes in a bad mood from work right now
Is this a sign of anything bad? Or am I just being completely paranoid?
Its jsut you mentioned 'her putting in the effort' but it doesn't seem like it any more, especially with this.
Sorry again, but i;m probably looking too deep
but to have to ask again, just had a reply from her to a long-winded nice email
On top of having barely talked at all recently, she basically ignored all I had said in my email and replied bluntly with something else T_T
She knows well that I can't travel anywhere in the next few weeks and she replied saying that we should meet 'soandsowhere' next weekend and that it'd be nice and that shes in a bad mood from work right now
Is this a sign of anything bad? Or am I just being completely paranoid?
Its jsut you mentioned 'her putting in the effort' but it doesn't seem like it any more, especially with this.
Sorry again, but i;m probably looking too deep
Times will come where you are both busy, but there's always a spare half an hour in the day to talk. Both parties need to be making an effort to make the relationship work and overcome any rough patches. At certain points in a relationship everyday communication and regular visits may not be possible, but trust and knowing how your other half feels about you will get you through those.
She may be stressed with GCSE coursework. I remember feeling under such pressure to do well and she may be feeling the same. Support her, tell her you're there for her, and tell her to give herself regular breaks and to talk to you if she needs to.
But ultimately if you're unhappy you need to talk to her and make her aware of your concerns and give her the opportunity to tell you how she feels about the situation. I hope things work out.
Guy-kun
like, a week or two... I really can't remember and I just can't rest inside with all this worrying constantly >_>
Have you tried talking to her about it?
Maybe she's upset about something?
@both
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
Guy-kun
@both
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
Maybe she doesn't do phone calls/MSN?
My ex didn't, and it was like talking to a brick wall (it's a bit depressing when you get a message saying just "Haha"). But when we were together, that was when I knew it was the right thing...and then he turned into an idiot, but that's another story
Don't "confront" or "accuse" her, just ask her if there's anything you can do to sort this out? Make a set time to call her?
Guy-kun
@both
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
I really don't know If i should confront her again about it though, should I?
Early on in the relationship we didn't get enough communication (more than now though) and I voiced my concerns and in the end I ended up agreeing to be less persistant (lol), but i don't feel she made the same change to anything, now that its gotten worse, is it right for me to, in effect, accuse her of not putting the effort in?
She doesn't seem to even have the half hour to talk, and if I told her and she did take it into account, if she wasn't happy with it, would I want to be forced-talking to her?
You don't need to accuse her or be confrontational, but I do think that you need to voice your concerns. If there's no communication in a relationship, especially one that is long distance, then there's no real relationship.
There's always a spare half an hour for a phone call. If she doesn't have that then perhaps something is up with her. Perhaps she's working too hard? Or perhaps she has other concerns. The only way you're going to get answers and get issues resolved is by talking to her. If anything, it'll put your mind at rest.
Well just, should I ignore the fact that she ignored me more-or-less and say if theres anything i can do? =/
I just got all my questions ignored in my email, I asked about plans for next week etc, how I'd wait for her till she was less busy, but she just came on, replied with a 'i love you, feeling bad and we should meet' (not exactly like that) and not even on msn or anything T_T
What do i doooo~
I just got all my questions ignored in my email, I asked about plans for next week etc, how I'd wait for her till she was less busy, but she just came on, replied with a 'i love you, feeling bad and we should meet' (not exactly like that) and not even on msn or anything T_T
What do i doooo~
Guy-kun
Well just, should I ignore the fact that she ignored me more-or-less and say if theres anything i can do? =/
I just got all my questions ignored in my email, I asked about plans for next week etc, how I'd wait for her till she was less busy, but she just came on, replied with a 'i love you, feeling bad and we should meet' (not exactly like that) and not even on msn or anything T_T
What do i doooo~
I just got all my questions ignored in my email, I asked about plans for next week etc, how I'd wait for her till she was less busy, but she just came on, replied with a 'i love you, feeling bad and we should meet' (not exactly like that) and not even on msn or anything T_T
What do i doooo~
Don't be overbearing! Maybe back off a little? Maybe she feels a little suffocated?
miniaturexhero
Don't be overbearing! Maybe back off a little? Maybe she feels a little suffocated?
Just ignore being ignored then?
Its just that from last time I did back off, from our first discussion of this, but it just didnt solve anything...
Guy-kun
Just ignore being ignored then?
Its just that from last time I did back off, from our first discussion of this, but it just didnt solve anything...
Its just that from last time I did back off, from our first discussion of this, but it just didnt solve anything...
If she feels suffocated, backing off could be the only thing that works!
LDRs are anything but easy y'know :/
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