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    (Original post by C_B_C)
    An hour is NOTHING. You could be in the same city and take that long to see each other.
    About the skype thing... there's no rule to it. It's not a balance. Just play it by ear! If you feel like seeing him on skype, text him and ask if he has half an hour to spare. If your both busy, I'm sure you'll be seeing eachother a few days later (if that!).
    At an hour away, you'll end up spending a lot of nights together. You'll def. make friends, and he'll meet them when he comes over to see you.

    Yeah, you'll change. You'll change for the better. And there's no reason you'll end up breaking up with him or anything.

    Uni's fu*king awesome, you'll love it.
    I know it's only an hour- I mean it takes an hour to see him at the moment, but I have free bus travel and occasionally get lifts from my Dad (and it's 1/2 an hour by car which isn't too bad). It just feels different because we no longer live in the same place. It's weird... If he's paying for trains, he won't be able to come up nearly as much.

    Thank you for the vote of confidence/
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    (Original post by skunky x)
    I'm going to Uni in October and thus will be leaving my darling man (who has already completed uni and his Masters). Thankfully we're not as far away as some of you guys, it's only an hour on the train and the trains are quite regular.

    I'm just scared! I really do adore him but everyone always says that university changes people and I don't want to be so changed that he feels we can't be together any more.

    How often do you recommend we Skype/FaceTime and talk on the phone? I'd love to be able to talk to him constantly, but I don't want to a) have no friends at uni or b) suffocate the relationship. I'm just really nervous. He's been so helpful with getting me ready for uni and I kinda feel guilty that I'm leaving him...
    That's basically a short distance relationship tbf. See each other on the weekend and keep in touch a bit throughout the week. And yeah you might change but I can speak as someone who also has a mister who's done his masters and so on and say you'll probably just be closer if you work at it since he's been through it all as well and it's something to bond over.
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    Both my boyfriend and i are going to uni this september (im going to wales and he's in notts) so we probably wont be able to see eachother much but we are still going to try
    One teenie problem--My parents don't know i'm in a relationship with him (they dont really know him-met him once while drunk- but still think he's not right for me), i've been with him for 6 months now by just sort of not quite telling them exactly who i'm in town with/sleeping over with (yes i hate lying but if you met my parents you'd get it) so i'm just wondering will it be easier or worse once i'm in uni???
    Does anyone else have very controlling parents? Did it get better once you were living somewhere else??
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    (Original post by IsabelleMarie)
    Both my boyfriend and i are going to uni this september (im going to wales and he's in notts) so we probably wont be able to see eachother much but we are still going to try
    One teenie problem--My parents don't know i'm in a relationship with him (they dont really know him-met him once while drunk- but still think he's not right for me), i've been with him for 6 months now by just sort of not quite telling them exactly who i'm in town with/sleeping over with (yes i hate lying but if you met my parents you'd get it) so i'm just wondering will it be easier or worse once i'm in uni???
    Does anyone else have very controlling parents? Did it get better once you were living somewhere else??
    Surely your parents won't know you've gone to see him whilst you're at uni? In any case it would be easier and uni will give you the confidence to be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do
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    (Original post by IsabelleMarie)
    Both my boyfriend and i are going to uni this september (im going to wales and he's in notts) so we probably wont be able to see eachother much but we are still going to try
    One teenie problem--My parents don't know i'm in a relationship with him (they dont really know him-met him once while drunk- but still think he's not right for me), i've been with him for 6 months now by just sort of not quite telling them exactly who i'm in town with/sleeping over with (yes i hate lying but if you met my parents you'd get it) so i'm just wondering will it be easier or worse once i'm in uni???
    Does anyone else have very controlling parents? Did it get better once you were living somewhere else??
    Surely your parents won't know you've gone to see him whilst you're at uni? In any case it would be easier and uni will give you the confidence to be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do
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    I've asked this in the main relationship rooms but tends to get ignored/idiots posting. while i have got 1 good reply i would like to know from the experts.

    I met a girl on-line a month or so ago, we started out sending PM's back and forth, then onto MSN and now pretty much text each other everyday. we've added each other on facebook and I can see she isn't fake.

    The other day she told me she wanted to be with me and I said I wanted to be with her too. She lives about an hour and half drive away I suggested meeting up soon to get to know each other better. She told me she is a bit wary since she's never met someone she found on-line and I admitted I felt the same way, she also has trust issues due to past boyfriends and is worried I won't feel the same when I meet her which has resulted in not setting a date.

    Is there any advice anyone can give us about meeting and also how I could make her feel more at ease about this new situation?
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    (Original post by bob2008uk)
    I've asked this in the main relationship rooms but tends to get ignored/idiots posting. while i have got 1 good reply i would like to know from the experts.

    I met a girl on-line a month or so ago, we started out sending PM's back and forth, then onto MSN and now pretty much text each other everyday. we've added each other on facebook and I can see she isn't fake.

    The other day she told me she wanted to be with me and I said I wanted to be with her too. She lives about an hour and half drive away I suggested meeting up soon to get to know each other better. She told me she is a bit wary since she's never met someone she found on-line and I admitted I felt the same way, she also has trust issues due to past boyfriends and is worried I won't feel the same when I meet her which has resulted in not setting a date.

    Is there any advice anyone can give us about meeting and also how I could make her feel more at ease about this new situation?
    do you guys ever talk on the phone? that can help SO much
    you feel better trust in someone when you're talking to them, and you get confidence around them and makes the first meet that little bit less awkward
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    we've never talked on the phone, is that bad? i suppose we have got so comfortable texting each other that it's never really beein brought up
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    no no, it's not bad at all... but maybe it's something you should think about before meeting, it would help a lot..

    really make you feel at ease
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    it is a good idea, i think it will put us more at ease with each other, guess we are thurther away from meeting than i thought. Just wamt her to trust me that i'm not going to get with her then act like her ex's and ingor her
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    i sent you an inbox msg!
    i honestly think it would help. i know it prob feels/seems like a big deal, but it really will help! and as for the 'and is worried I won't feel the same when I meet her which has resulted in not setting a date' she probably just needs a bit of reassurance too.. that's what all females are like sometimes lol
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    (Original post by bob2008uk)
    I've asked this in the main relationship rooms but tends to get ignored/idiots posting. while i have got 1 good reply i would like to know from the experts.

    I met a girl on-line a month or so ago, we started out sending PM's back and forth, then onto MSN and now pretty much text each other everyday. we've added each other on facebook and I can see she isn't fake.

    The other day she told me she wanted to be with me and I said I wanted to be with her too. She lives about an hour and half drive away I suggested meeting up soon to get to know each other better. She told me she is a bit wary since she's never met someone she found on-line and I admitted I felt the same way, she also has trust issues due to past boyfriends and is worried I won't feel the same when I meet her which has resulted in not setting a date.

    Is there any advice anyone can give us about meeting and also how I could make her feel more at ease about this new situation?
    I met my current boyfriend on here (entirely accidently, we were just revising biology/chemistry for our exams together) :awesome:
    we firstly started texting, then added one another on facebook (coincidentally having some mutual friends haha), then we would spend weeks chatting night after night on msn with the microphones and webcams until the early hours of the morning (I practically turned nocturnal hehe)... this continued for like a month until we finally met up in London, had an ace time and we have been seeing eachother as much as possible since. he has stayed over mine a few nights/met my family and friends etc and vice versa.
    my one bit of advice to you is to make sure you speak on the phone and if possible get a webcam/mic so you guys can actually have a proper conversation if you want anymore advice or someone to talk to just message me!
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    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    Surely your parents won't know you've gone to see him whilst you're at uni? In any case it would be easier and uni will give you the confidence to be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do
    Yeah thats what i'm thinking! And tbf i kinda already do what i want, just in secret
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    (Original post by bob2008uk)
    I've asked this in the main relationship rooms but tends to get ignored/idiots posting. while i have got 1 good reply i would like to know from the experts.

    I met a girl on-line a month or so ago, we started out sending PM's back and forth, then onto MSN and now pretty much text each other everyday. we've added each other on facebook and I can see she isn't fake.

    The other day she told me she wanted to be with me and I said I wanted to be with her too. She lives about an hour and half drive away I suggested meeting up soon to get to know each other better. She told me she is a bit wary since she's never met someone she found on-line and I admitted I felt the same way, she also has trust issues due to past boyfriends and is worried I won't feel the same when I meet her which has resulted in not setting a date.

    Is there any advice anyone can give us about meeting and also how I could make her feel more at ease about this new situation?
    I have met two guys from online in real life and one of them is my current boyfriend To make her (and you) more comfortable, there are two key things:

    1. DEFINITELY chat over webcam (video and voice). That way you can see each other move an interact in real life and get a sense of each others' behavior, mannerisms, speech, etc. It's practically like being together in real life and will make the transition so much easier for both of you.

    2. When you do meet, it's really, really important that you be yourself. The first guy I met was really different in real life compared to how he acted online. Online he was smart, funny witty, and talkative. In real life he was just so shy, quiet, withdrawn, and not funny at all. I'm sure he was just nervous but it was a huge turn off and it honestly made things really awkward. I know it will be hard since it is pretty awkward meeting someone you met online, but you have to try your best to act normal, be yourself, and try to avoid awkwardness as much as you can! It will make both of you feel so much better.

    Finally, I will say that it's perfectly fine to wait a few more weeks before meeting. Use the extra time to talk on webcam a lot. I actually waited years before meeting either of the two guys in real life. It gave me plenty of time to get comfortable with the idea and know exactly who I was meeting.

    Good luck!
    • #328
    #328

    Hi all, I hope this thread is still active a lot.

    So I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with someone who I'm sooooo into. There is also complete trust on both sides (there have been a lot of situations that have shown me that she can be completely trusted). HOWEVER, this probably says more about me than it does about my gf, but does anyone else ever get that paranoia? About the fact that I'm not there, she might forget about me, she might meet someone new and close by. I trust that she wouldn't cheat on me, but I'm more scared than anything that she might find a connection with someone else. Does anyone else ever get that? I do trust her, I really do, but I just have that evil little voice in the back of my head burrowing doubt into my brain. It makes me feel horrible because I interpret things according to that belief and I get all angsty about it :/

    Also, how do you cope with the periods in between seeing each other? I'm starting to get the paranoia all the time rather than warm fuzzy feelings I'm about to go gap year travelling as well for about 2 months (planned before I started dating her). I don't know how I'm going to cope!!! Can someone please allay my fears please? I'm sure someone will have calming words for me... :/
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    Miss my girlfriend so much, she's off on holiday half way accross the world for a month.... Didn't think it would hit me this soon, daymn it bad mood tonight!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all, I hope this thread is still active a lot.

    So I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with someone who I'm sooooo into. There is also complete trust on both sides (there have been a lot of situations that have shown me that she can be completely trusted). HOWEVER, this probably says more about me than it does about my gf, but does anyone else ever get that paranoia? About the fact that I'm not there, she might forget about me, she might meet someone new and close by. I trust that she wouldn't cheat on me, but I'm more scared than anything that she might find a connection with someone else. Does anyone else ever get that? I do trust her, I really do, but I just have that evil little voice in the back of my head burrowing doubt into my brain. It makes me feel horrible because I interpret things according to that belief and I get all angsty about it :/

    Also, how do you cope with the periods in between seeing each other? I'm starting to get the paranoia all the time rather than warm fuzzy feelings I'm about to go gap year travelling as well for about 2 months (planned before I started dating her). I don't know how I'm going to cope!!! Can someone please allay my fears please? I'm sure someone will have calming words for me... :/
    I don't post to this topic usually, even though I am, and have been, in an LDR for about a year and 2 months now. And I am a complete stranger to you but for what its worth, you're not the only one who has those kinds of thoughts and Im hoping this helps some. I can sympathize with you.

    I am in the US(American) and he is Turkish and lives there. And probably like many here, I also have some days where I am incredibly depressed it feels like, for missing him. Especially lately since we can't chat online as much as we used to, due to changes in his life. So there's sometimes a few days or so between. And in those periods, I try not to let myself get to paranoid because that is only adding stress and anxiety to my life. Of course as you know, easier said than done. And having known him for long as ı have now, I feel like ı can trust him when he says "love always". Little things like words you remember they say might help you to be reassured.

    I don't know the full extent of your situation but really the only way you're going to get reassurance while you are traveling is if you can stay in regular contact with her. Or at least some contact (even if only letters sent by post) so hopefully you can ignore that little nagging voice of paranoia. She may be worried also, during the tımes that you can't communicate, so she may also appreciate the reassurance that you are always thinking of her.

    When you don't have the luxury of always being around someone you love with all your life, then even the little things done to show you love, can mean a huge deal. Best of success to you and her in life.
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    (Original post by Zebracolors)
    I don't post to this topic usually, even though I am, and have been, in an LDR for about a year and 2 months now. And I am a complete stranger to you but for what its worth, you're not the only one who has those kinds of thoughts and Im hoping this helps some. I can sympathize with you.

    I am in the US(American) and he is Turkish and lives there. And probably like many here, I also have some days where I am incredibly depressed it feels like, for missing him. Especially lately since we can't chat online as much as we used to, due to changes in his life. So there's sometimes a few days or so between. And in those periods, I try not to let myself get to paranoid because that is only adding stress and anxiety to my life. Of course as you know, easier said than done. And having known him for long as ı have now, I feel like ı can trust him when he says "love always". Little things like words you remember they say might help you to be reassured.

    I don't know the full extent of your situation but really the only way you're going to get reassurance while you are traveling is if you can stay in regular contact with her. Or at least some contact (even if only letters sent by post) so hopefully you can ignore that little nagging voice of paranoia. She may be worried also, during the tımes that you can't communicate, so she may also appreciate the reassurance that you are always thinking of her.

    When you don't have the luxury of always being around someone you love with all your life, then even the little things done to show you love, can mean a huge deal. Best of success to you and her in life.
    props to you for being apart for so long..

    it's been 3 weeks for me, and thats a killer.. counting down the days for this weekend mind!
    before this we've seen each other a couple of times over the summer, but before that monthss.. that seemed a lifetime, so can't imagine what over a year would be like, so well done :P
    • #328
    #328

    (Original post by Zebracolors)
    I don't post to this topic usually, even though I am, and have been, in an LDR for about a year and 2 months now. And I am a complete stranger to you but for what its worth, you're not the only one who has those kinds of thoughts and Im hoping this helps some. I can sympathize with you.

    I am in the US(American) and he is Turkish and lives there. And probably like many here, I also have some days where I am incredibly depressed it feels like, for missing him. Especially lately since we can't chat online as much as we used to, due to changes in his life. So there's sometimes a few days or so between. And in those periods, I try not to let myself get to paranoid because that is only adding stress and anxiety to my life. Of course as you know, easier said than done. And having known him for long as ı have now, I feel like ı can trust him when he says "love always". Little things like words you remember they say might help you to be reassured.

    I don't know the full extent of your situation but really the only way you're going to get reassurance while you are traveling is if you can stay in regular contact with her. Or at least some contact (even if only letters sent by post) so hopefully you can ignore that little nagging voice of paranoia. She may be worried also, during the tımes that you can't communicate, so she may also appreciate the reassurance that you are always thinking of her.

    When you don't have the luxury of always being around someone you love with all your life, then even the little things done to show you love, can mean a huge deal. Best of success to you and her in life.
    Thank you for hearing me, and your words. *kind stranger*
    • #344
    #344

    This time next month my bf and I would have been together after a year of international LDR IF he had not dumped me on my birthday.(on my birthday to make it worse =/)
    He hasn't told me why he dumped me and he's being unfairly rude.. he even told me he doesn't love me anymore and he asked me to **** off.
    I have NO idea why he dumped me. I have no idea why he's being so rude. Two weeks ago, he told me he was happy beyond belief that we were finally going to be living in the same city after a horrible year of international long-distance.
    Please, can someone help me understand why all this has happened? he refuses to talk to me. I'm so confused and hurt.
    I would really like some views.. thanks guys
 
 
 
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