Hey everyone. I've been reading this thread for the last few weeks, ever since my 2 year relationship turned into an LDR. There's some really helpful advice on here, thank you
But I'm finding this new LDR situation a lot harder than I was expecting. I hope you don't mind a long post, but I kind of just want to articulate what I'm feeling right now.
We've been seeing each other for 2 years now, and for the past year/year and a bit, we've been pretty much living together, and also spent a couple of months travelling together. Now we've both started university, with me studying abroad, we've gone from spending pretty much all our time together to, well, an LDR. And I'm just really worried about our relationship now - we're only 3 weeks in, but I already feel like it's becoming strained. I went back to the UK and spent the weekend with her, but it wasn't all I'd been looking forward to for the past 3 weeks. We had a couple of arguments, which we don't normally have, one quite a serious one. It was all fine in the end, and we had a really lovely time, but it's left me feeling so worried that we might not make it through.
I love this girl, so much, and I've always known she felt the same way about me. Now I'm not so sure. We always talked about spending the rest of lives together, now we talk about taking one step at a time. I'm finding it really difficult to adjust to this LDR, and I've missed her so much it's been painful, but I feel like I've found the transition incredibly hard, but that she hasn't. Or at least, I feel like I'm missing her more than she's been missing me.
I think one of the issues is that she's settled into uni more than I have. She's already found a close group of friends, whilst I'm feeling lost. I've made friends here, and I get on really well with my flat mates at halls, but I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. Seeing her this weekend, settling in really well, coping well with work, already having really close friends, made me feel really upset about my own uni life and feeling like I didn't want to go back. But this is completely awful, because then I worry that I'm making her feel bad for settling in more than I have, which would be completely wrong of me. There's other things too though. I feel like communication was going to be important part of this new LDR, and that, whilst it was important for us to lead new independent lives, it was important for us to make time to talk to each other regularly. That hasn't really happened. She says this is because she doesn't really like her halls house too much, so she's been spending a lot of time with her group of friends at other halls which has meant she couldn't use skype. I don't want to make skyping me a chore, but at the same time I want to talk to her every day!
I feel like being in an LDR is an incredibly hard balancing act. I also feel now that perhaps I can't talk to her about how I'm feeling and what I'm worrying about, as they might push her away from me, whereas before it would always be her I'd talk to.
I guess I'm just upset that it's been even harder than I'd ever imagined, and upset that only 3 weeks in and it's strained things so much. We're already talking about our future in a different way to how we were. I guess I just want to know it might get better. Again, really sorry about the length of the post, but I had to get this off my chest.