Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Am i in the wrong?

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My family mean the world to me.
And his a family friend he proposed to me so I accepted it.
My family just wanted me to find someone.
They didn't force this engagement.
I just couldn't keep coming out to them.
And im 20.(nearly 21).

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

I chose to accept his proposal because he fancied me.
I couldnt tell him I'm gay.
My family just wanted me to find someone.
So it's not like you imagine it lol.

Reply 22

Xarao

Original post by Anonymous

You don't understand :frown:

I love my family dearly!!! I have tried telling them and they still told me I need to find someone so I knew my family friend liked me so I let him propose to me.
He is happy but i am not and I cannot tell him.im gay becayze hell end uo telling his parsnts and mine will probably disown me :frown:

You don't understand i have always been the 'loving' and caring daughter. I couldnf ever think of hurting my family.
It's so hard for me

That's probably one of the most stupidest thing I've read all day. You don't even need to tell your parents that you're gay until you're ready but rather say you're not ready for marriage/want to call off the engagement.

Your family doesn't come first, you do.

Also, you're marrying a complete stranger and willing to have children with them, just to keep your family "happy". I don't think it's a hard choice, you're just making it one. This sounds so forced, you need to read the above post and do something.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

Thank you for the replies.
Some people have got the wrong end of fhe stick!
I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I think i know what is best :smile:

Thank you

Reply 24

Xarao

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the replies.
Some people have got the wrong end of fhe stick!
I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I think i know what is best :smile:

Thank you

You clearly don't, but okay. Let us know what you tell your kids.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

I'm sorry but you have the wrong end of the stick!

And thank you.

Reply 26

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I'm sorry but you have the wrong end of the stick!

And thank you.

No, I think you got the wrong end of the stick. So will your kids in a years time, knowing how spineless you was just to please your family. Well, enjoy having a random husband that you know nothing about and have no love for at all, while living at his in-laws!

Reply 27

Surnia

Original post by Anonymous

I chose to accept his proposal because he fancied me.
I couldnt tell him I'm gay.
My family just wanted me to find someone.
So it's not like you imagine it lol.

You don't have to tell anyone you are gay, but you can say you aren't in love with your fiance, which is true. It will be even more of a mess if you go ahead with a sham marriage. How would you feel the other way round, if you married and found out your fiance was gay? You are lying, breaking their trust, and cheating them of their expected happy lifestyle, maybe even children.

Get out from under other people's control, including moving out if you haven't already, and live your own life.

Reply 28

Sammylou40

Original post by G1iybs

I made the assumption that the marriage is unavoidable and therefore encouraged her to see the positive side.

Why is it unavoidable?
it may be what her family wants but forced marriage is illegal in this country.
op. If you really don’t want this marriage then please get advice

https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/forced-marriages/

https://www.refuge.org.uk/our-work/forms-of-violence-and-abuse/forced-marriage/

https://forcedmarriage.campaign.gov.uk/

there are people who can help and support you
dont do it unless you really want to
this is your life and your choice. Not that of your family