you are growing up
Original post by Middle_child
you are growing up
When will my negative thoughts stop ? and i forgot to mention im 16
just turned 16 too, it depends on the person, mine have not stopped yet
I hope you are doing ok, I will be here if you ever need to talk
I hope you are doing ok, I will be here if you ever need to talk
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by Middle_child
just turned 16 too, it depends on the person, mine have not stopped yet
I hope you are doing ok, I will be here if you ever need to talk
I hope you are doing ok, I will be here if you ever need to talk
Thanks. imma try to listen to some of my favourite music to see if it helps me
I'm sorry to hear that 
In the midst of the unknown, all of us are also confused what life would be in the future. However, you're just being self-conscious and that's normal for everybody. It means you're maturing to be a successful adult.
The cliché thing is, 'It's life,' yet it's true. It's a mystery, scary, unknown. But it can be much more! I see that you're revising for your studies and that's great! that effort will sooner or later be reflected in the future, because you have to at least interact 'life' to have something different. Right now, we all don't know what's going to happen as schools are reopening and lockdown will be lifted in couple of weeks.
Nonetheless, it takes time. Yes, time! Everything takes time. You just have to at least go out from your comfortable zone to make changes and I guarantee that it will be rewarding (but don't go too far). We all have our troubles and it is not what we want, we have to do something to make it right and find gaps to lead our own. Yet, it takes time! Again, it's not magic, nonono, it's reality, with you and everyone in it. We have to make our own life with our own efforts and strength (and maybe with a sprinkle of support).
I hope you're feeling well and hope this helps
! Stay strong and keep on the good work 
!
In the midst of the unknown, all of us are also confused what life would be in the future. However, you're just being self-conscious and that's normal for everybody. It means you're maturing to be a successful adult.
The cliché thing is, 'It's life,' yet it's true. It's a mystery, scary, unknown. But it can be much more! I see that you're revising for your studies and that's great! that effort will sooner or later be reflected in the future, because you have to at least interact 'life' to have something different. Right now, we all don't know what's going to happen as schools are reopening and lockdown will be lifted in couple of weeks.
Nonetheless, it takes time. Yes, time! Everything takes time. You just have to at least go out from your comfortable zone to make changes and I guarantee that it will be rewarding (but don't go too far). We all have our troubles and it is not what we want, we have to do something to make it right and find gaps to lead our own. Yet, it takes time! Again, it's not magic, nonono, it's reality, with you and everyone in it. We have to make our own life with our own efforts and strength (and maybe with a sprinkle of support).
I hope you're feeling well and hope this helps
! Stay strong and keep on the good work !Original post by Chumter
I was doing revision in the morning but then suddenly stopped and thought what am i doing , why am i doing this . I am currently not happy in my life; i have only 1 ok friend i talk to , he gets jealous really easily, other than him i have no-one else to talk to other than my family (3 people ) i want to go places with my "friends" but dont even have any and the only friend i have doesnt even want to go anywhere or do anything . i only talk to him about work and that's it . I feel like i'm trapped in a unescapable place and just want to go somewhere else where i can make friends and go places and experience something . I feel like school is making me a very boring person and i feel nothing ... i dont want to do anything and my head just pains me by thinking about this , it also makes me want to cry . I see other people , they have friends and go out and do stuff and there's me doing the same thing every single day of my life and i feel very depressed . i spent all of day after i stopped revision self reflecting on what i want from my life :
-Want to have real friends
-Want to experience things with other people than my family
-Feel happy
-Have fun other than forcing myself to play ps4 when i dont want to
-choosing the right career path
-Living in a sociable neighbourhood
-Being self -confident
-Being true to myself
i have school tomorrow and i feel very lethargic and am even struggling to write this post . i feel like the early part of my life has been wasted
i want to go places and do things but have no-one to do it with ....
am i realising the problems i have in my life currently .
my idea of fun is hanging out the beach , exploring different places , talking to people , playing pool or any other sport with people i relate to and like.
What is happening to me ?
-Want to have real friends
-Want to experience things with other people than my family
-Feel happy
-Have fun other than forcing myself to play ps4 when i dont want to
-choosing the right career path
-Living in a sociable neighbourhood
-Being self -confident
-Being true to myself
i have school tomorrow and i feel very lethargic and am even struggling to write this post . i feel like the early part of my life has been wasted
i want to go places and do things but have no-one to do it with ....
am i realising the problems i have in my life currently .
my idea of fun is hanging out the beach , exploring different places , talking to people , playing pool or any other sport with people i relate to and like.
What is happening to me ?
Hey,
I somehow clicked on this thread Bec of the title but it glad I did. Have a few things to say. Almost all of what you've said are things I went through a few years later, but didn't realise until only recently. Its really good you have this self-awareness about the things important to you. As another commented, this is all part of growing up - hopefully as you continue to grow, you make better use of your time, where it goes and who to give it to. First thing to appreciate is the error signals you're getting - at least you're alerted to the things that don't seem right. Thats the first step to getting things in order.
2nd thing is to show gratitude for everything you already have. Very easy to lose sight of things and people around us when we want more.
3rd, that the things you want in place take time and with current times, there are less opportunities to do so. Make use of what you can, but don't be harsh on yourself if things take time.
4th, I can understand it sucks, but keep yourself busy. Things like this can pop up often when we have not much to do. Start learning something, hobbies, workouts water to keep you busy and involved.
The things you want for yourself are really good things im still working on - its almost continuous thing you'll work on as depending on the person, there really is no endpoint. So one may always feel this ...but there is great meaning to be found in just surviving.
OK man, seems like your unhappy right now and did some much needed contemplation. You said you came up with:
-Want to have real friends
-Want to experience things with other people than my family
-Feel happy
-Have fun other than forcing myself to play ps4 when i dont want to
-choosing the right career path
-Living in a sociable neighbourhood
-Being self -confident
-Being true to myself
Well let's go through these right, I'm going to colour code them to make it easier to understand., first of all being true to yourself, in your opinion, means what? Being honest with how you feel, being able to articulate your thoughts? Being able to have discipline over yourself? You need to make this more specific, as right now it doesn't much. And once you've figured it out, chase it. Force yourself to be honest with how you feel, meditate if you have to, force yourself to be disciplined and wake up at X time or eat X food or say no to certain things you don't like until it's who you are. Hopefully for the better than the worse.
Now secondly, you'll have to do some more thinking into what this means too man, I mean whats happy? You feel happy for a bit when you buy yourself something new, but you also feel happy when watching a peaceful sunset, when with friends and when you have an 'aha' moment in school. They're all different types of happiness and to be honest none of them are really for the long term, what people call happiness with themselves is called being content. Maybe you want to be proud in who you are, be confident in your abilities or so fourth, but thats not happiness. Happiness is kind of short lived to be honest. Being content brings that euphoria of happiness, but also the confidence and the longevity of it.
Now this is kind of difficult, and for that I'm not gonna talk too much about it, but that's more of a long term goal and for that there's not much you can do other than maximise your options to get into the position where you can choose a neighbourhood for you -- and to do that you'll need good grades which gives you that option. This goal also allows us to realise that not everything is short term completable, and that some things are easier to fix than others.
Confidence is a hard one man, because for some it's naturally just so much easier, and for that it could take you more work. o be honest, it comes with charisma right, so you can't reaaally be one without the other. Now when building either, it's important to know that a lot of people built their confident on the foundations of nothing - simply a fake it till you make it approach. The more you practise being confident in yourself and what you can do, as well as confidence speaking to others, the more it will naturally stick with you.
I think the first two on the list come together, and you need to make more friends before you can have good experiences with them. Now you're almost in college, so that's a clean slate you to mingle. You need to practise in your school right now how to make friends, because honestly man (and I'm sorry to be blunt) if you have only a few friends in Year 11 then you're already behind, which is sometimes just what you need to hear to up the game. Go talk to people when you go back, ask them whats up, join their conversations. It might feel strange and unnatural to do this, but it's also gonna contribute to that confidence you need to build. Practise makes perfect!
Well if you've got nothing to do other than play the PS4, then I'd say force yourself outside instead man, go find a park or a skatepark near you and talk to whoever is there, again confidence building. People at skateparks are some of the most down to earth people you'll meet, go up to talk to them and you'll find out. Maybe you'll even pick up the skating or just chill and watch people and have convos. You'll never know if you don't try -- and if you don't want to go to a park, try a club man. I'm not a fan of clubs, I think they're cheesy, but if it's what you have to do then it's what has to be done -- or maybe pick MMA or boxing, any form of physical defence sport should come with confidence gain too as you see your body and discipline improve.
And finally. your career. That's very personal to you, what do you enjoy, what can you make a job out of and most importantly what do you want to be focusing yourself on for the next 6 years? Going into a study you don't like but has good pay sets you up for failure, and going into a study that's useless also sets you up for bad job security. Consider everything and read everything related to figuring out who you are and what career is for you. Nothing more too it man, it's going to keep you awake at night, it's going to stress you as you get closer to finalising, but that's what life is man, stressful short periods followed by long relaxed periods, if you do it right. Good luck man.
-Want to have real friends
-Want to experience things with other people than my family
-Feel happy
-Have fun other than forcing myself to play ps4 when i dont want to
-choosing the right career path
-Living in a sociable neighbourhood
-Being self -confident
-Being true to myself
Well let's go through these right, I'm going to colour code them to make it easier to understand., first of all being true to yourself, in your opinion, means what? Being honest with how you feel, being able to articulate your thoughts? Being able to have discipline over yourself? You need to make this more specific, as right now it doesn't much. And once you've figured it out, chase it. Force yourself to be honest with how you feel, meditate if you have to, force yourself to be disciplined and wake up at X time or eat X food or say no to certain things you don't like until it's who you are. Hopefully for the better than the worse.
Now secondly, you'll have to do some more thinking into what this means too man, I mean whats happy? You feel happy for a bit when you buy yourself something new, but you also feel happy when watching a peaceful sunset, when with friends and when you have an 'aha' moment in school. They're all different types of happiness and to be honest none of them are really for the long term, what people call happiness with themselves is called being content. Maybe you want to be proud in who you are, be confident in your abilities or so fourth, but thats not happiness. Happiness is kind of short lived to be honest. Being content brings that euphoria of happiness, but also the confidence and the longevity of it.
Now this is kind of difficult, and for that I'm not gonna talk too much about it, but that's more of a long term goal and for that there's not much you can do other than maximise your options to get into the position where you can choose a neighbourhood for you -- and to do that you'll need good grades which gives you that option. This goal also allows us to realise that not everything is short term completable, and that some things are easier to fix than others.
Confidence is a hard one man, because for some it's naturally just so much easier, and for that it could take you more work. o be honest, it comes with charisma right, so you can't reaaally be one without the other. Now when building either, it's important to know that a lot of people built their confident on the foundations of nothing - simply a fake it till you make it approach. The more you practise being confident in yourself and what you can do, as well as confidence speaking to others, the more it will naturally stick with you.
I think the first two on the list come together, and you need to make more friends before you can have good experiences with them. Now you're almost in college, so that's a clean slate you to mingle. You need to practise in your school right now how to make friends, because honestly man (and I'm sorry to be blunt) if you have only a few friends in Year 11 then you're already behind, which is sometimes just what you need to hear to up the game. Go talk to people when you go back, ask them whats up, join their conversations. It might feel strange and unnatural to do this, but it's also gonna contribute to that confidence you need to build. Practise makes perfect!
Well if you've got nothing to do other than play the PS4, then I'd say force yourself outside instead man, go find a park or a skatepark near you and talk to whoever is there, again confidence building. People at skateparks are some of the most down to earth people you'll meet, go up to talk to them and you'll find out. Maybe you'll even pick up the skating or just chill and watch people and have convos. You'll never know if you don't try -- and if you don't want to go to a park, try a club man. I'm not a fan of clubs, I think they're cheesy, but if it's what you have to do then it's what has to be done -- or maybe pick MMA or boxing, any form of physical defence sport should come with confidence gain too as you see your body and discipline improve.
And finally. your career. That's very personal to you, what do you enjoy, what can you make a job out of and most importantly what do you want to be focusing yourself on for the next 6 years? Going into a study you don't like but has good pay sets you up for failure, and going into a study that's useless also sets you up for bad job security. Consider everything and read everything related to figuring out who you are and what career is for you. Nothing more too it man, it's going to keep you awake at night, it's going to stress you as you get closer to finalising, but that's what life is man, stressful short periods followed by long relaxed periods, if you do it right. Good luck man.
(edited 3 years ago)
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