How long do I wait?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I’m not too sure why but my boyfriend hasn’t been online in a while and I don’t know what to do.

We’re in a long distance relationship, and until now he’s made the effort to talk to me as much as possible. He’s away at the minute and has kinda unreliable internet access, so it could be as simple as that, but he’s been away since the start of the month and so far has never been more than a day without speaking to me. It’s been four or five days now.

His dad was taken into hospital just under a week ago, but last time I spoke to him, he said he [his dad] was due home in an hour. I haven’t heard from him [boyfriend] since then so I’m quite worried.

The other thing is that last time he was away for a day, he cheated on me, so with such a long gap this time I’m a little nervous about him doing something, even though I do trust him and don’t think he’d make that mistake again.

I have no way of reaching him and I don’t know what to do. I’m really stressing, not knowing if he’s okay, or what’s happening, or when he’ll be back. How long do I wait for him? I’m scared he might not come back at all. Probably just my insecurity there but I’m not very patient
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Idk1092
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not too sure why but my boyfriend hasn’t been online in a while and I don’t know what to do.

We’re in a long distance relationship, and until now he’s made the effort to talk to me as much as possible. He’s away at the minute and has kinda unreliable internet access, so it could be as simple as that, but he’s been away since the start of the month and so far has never been more than a day without speaking to me. It’s been four or five days now.

His dad was taken into hospital just under a week ago, but last time I spoke to him, he said he [his dad] was due home in an hour. I haven’t heard from him [boyfriend] since then so I’m quite worried.

The other thing is that last time he was away for a day, he cheated on me, so with such a long gap this time I’m a little nervous about him doing something, even though I do trust him and don’t think he’d make that mistake again.

I have no way of reaching him and I don’t know what to do. I’m really stressing, not knowing if he’s okay, or what’s happening, or when he’ll be back. How long do I wait for him? I’m scared he might not come back at all. Probably just my insecurity there but I’m not very patient
girl it sounds as if he has cut you off, but why didn’t you leave him as soon as he cheated on you???
if he’s gone so long without speaking or updating you, there clearly is a major issue
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
(Original post by Idk1092)
girl it sounds as if he has cut you off, but why didn’t you leave him as soon as he cheated on you???
if he’s gone so long without speaking or updating you, there clearly is a major issue
I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as I know he’s very stressed and supposed to be on holiday, but I am pretty worried that he won’t come back. I don’t understand why though, he’s never hinted at being unhappy and told me last time we spoke how much he loves me etc.
Idk why I didn’t leave him when he cheated. I guess sometimes I’m too forgiving. I wasn’t particularly annoyed at him (kinda hurt though…) so I decided to just stay with him.
Thank you :hugs:
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Idk1092
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as I know he’s very stressed and supposed to be on holiday, but I am pretty worried that he won’t come back. I don’t understand why though, he’s never hinted at being unhappy and told me last time we spoke how much he loves me etc.
Idk why I didn’t leave him when he cheated. I guess sometimes I’m too forgiving. I wasn’t particularly annoyed at him (kinda hurt though…) so I decided to just stay with him.
Thank you :hugs:
bestie you have to stand up for yourself, he clearly isn’t caring about your emotions! Focus on your self!
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by Idk1092)
bestie you have to stand up for yourself, he clearly isn’t caring about your emotions! Focus on your self!
In his defence, his dad is very ill right now and I don’t think I’d be talking much either in his position… that said, I’d still check up on him.

It just kinda hurts cause I’m going through a lot as well, and I was hoping he’d be able to provide some comfort, but I feel very alone. I don’t want to leave him but I’m running out of patience
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
:bump:
Could do with a couple more opinions if anyone wants
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Alaska_Bear_25
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
In his defence, his dad is very ill right now and I don’t think I’d be talking much either in his position… that said, I’d still check up on him.

It just kinda hurts cause I’m going through a lot as well, and I was hoping he’d be able to provide some comfort, but I feel very alone. I don’t want to leave him but I’m running out of patience
I'm so sorry you're feeling that way and going through things but it'll be alright. From the sounds of it he's cutting you off or ghosting you. He might come back when he feels like he needs something from you again but he's taking advantage of the situation. You'll find better, trust me. Cut him off and move on okay? You deserve so much more, and things will get better.

I'd be worried if it went that long without a single message or update. You're gonna be okay and you're taking his defence.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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#8
(Original post by Alaska_Bear_25)
I'm so sorry you're feeling that way and going through things but it'll be alright. From the sounds of it he's cutting you off or ghosting you. He might come back when he feels like he needs something from you again but he's taking advantage of the situation. You'll find better, trust me. Cut him off and move on okay? You deserve so much more, and things will get better.

I'd be worried if it went that long without a single message or update. You're gonna be okay and you're taking his defence.
I’m kinda glad it’s not just me tbh, I thought I might be too clingy… the amount of stress he’s put me through, I have started to feel like I want to end things, but I’ll feel so guilty if he comes back and I’ve moved on. I’m also pretty scared of leaving him and being alone - I don’t like being single!
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rosy_posy
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#9
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#9
The fact he cheated on you is a red flag, he could be doing the same thing now
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
(Original post by rosy_posy)
The fact he cheated on you is a red flag, he could be doing the same thing now
I’m a little worried about that. I do mostly trust him, but not completely
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Alaska_Bear_25
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m kinda glad it’s not just me tbh, I thought I might be too clingy… the amount of stress he’s put me through, I have started to feel like I want to end things, but I’ll feel so guilty if he comes back and I’ve moved on. I’m also pretty scared of leaving him and being alone - I don’t like being single!
Don't worry its not just you. Its okay to be clingy it just shows you really care but he has put you through a lot and from all the ex's I've had, none of them have spent this long not messaging me or letting me know what is happening with them during long distance unless they were cheating on me (one of the guys, the others didn't ghost for this long). You wouldn't have to feel guilty cause if he came back then its because he wanted something from you again. Relationships work on mutual love and trust and communication, it works both ways. You're worrying about him and giving it your all and he seems to not want to let you know what's happening and is distancing himself, you don't have to feel guilty about wanting to end things, it would just be emotionally draining if this kept on.

I understand the not liking being single, I haven't stayed single long since I started dating and one of the reasons being not liking being alone, and having separation anxiety makes it worse. Don't worry about that, this isn't the man for you if he treats you this way, so you're better of trying again with someone else. You're not alone, you've got people who care about you. It'll be okay
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