Labour to Outlaw April Fool Jokes

a spokesperson for the Labour Party who would only give their name as
Diane has confirmed that once Sir Starmer is in power they will set up a
Parliamentary Commission on April Fool "Jokes".

"This outdated tradition is heading for the dustbin of history.
Our kids deserve better than silly pranks from adults" said Diane.

A former member of the Party who asked us to call them Jez added
"humour has no place under a Labour Government. Stalin was not a
humorous guy. three decades of Tory mismanagement is not a laughing
matter"

Gove bans laughing gas, Starmer bans jokes.
Bring back Boris is all I can say.

I have decided that at my age, I should now become a Conservative. Next step is to apply for a safe seat in the glorious landslide that awaits my new party in the forthcoming general election.

... Or UK water companies actually ever being properly punished for flushing sewage into our rivers and seas.

they are just going through the motions

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I feel a little flushed reading that.