Could anyone mark this essay and give me a mark out of 30, English Lit Paper 1 AQA

In, the play, An Inspector Calls, the presentation of Mr Birling is insinuated as someone that is actively involving himself as the mouthpiece of capitalism, injecting the plauge to the younger generation by giving his egotistical notions "of a man having to mind his own business" Priestly indefinetly highlights Mr Birling as an egotistical fiend, fueled by wealth and shunning the lower class, behaving like an Edwardian man, as wealthy Edwardian men only cared for their wealth as a cause of the capitalistic plauge.

In the exposition of the didatic play, Mr Birling's nature is deplored through his enormous desire for profit and that desire leading him to dislike Eva Smith, in his eyes she is that of a "wretched girl" Perhaps, this could suggest the dislike Mr birling witheld for Eva Smith and his workers who have caused him problametic outcomes by demanding for higher wages. We could also infer that Mr Birling may call anyone an enemy that inhibits his ability to gain wealth and power which was very common in Edwardian England as power would recieve respect and many other things that Mr Birling craved, perhaps, highlighting an insecure nature which could justify his acts of selfishness as he does not want to be seen as weak/vunreble. Another scripture which highlights the selfishness of upper class can be seen through the charcter of Scrooge, written in similar times, where both potray attitudes of selifhness, alluding to the damage of capitalism which has existed in our society for generations. Additionally, this quote couldimply to the hateful nature of not just Eva Smih but as of the lower class as a whole as Mr Birling strives to keep "wages lower". Perhaps, this quote could imply to his desire for wealth has not only blinded him from humanity but had caused him to feel no remorse, as the play continues. His worries were more towards their "being a public scandal." This clearly highlights the egotistical nature of Mr Birling, his profit is key to him and his reputation, he cannot have his reputation scarred as a cause of him being knighted and many more things. His profit is key to him so he can maintain "the pink and intimate lighting" shielding his family from the suffering of the lower class which had been the cause of upper class people. The pronoun "girl" could connote to the inequality encountered by Eva Smith as her name isn't being pronounced. This may expose a patriacal society presented by Priestly, as women in Edwardian England were seen as objects and a mans property as in 1912, women had not gained the right to vote causing formations of the suffragetes movements. Priestly may have implored the problamatic results of capitalism which results in violence and disagreements, juxtaposing the notion of socialism, where everyone is seen as equal. This is explained to us my Karl Marx as he belives a capitalistic society would revolt which we can clearly see through the suffragette movements. Mr Birling would not care for these problems, rather focus on his profit and his family. A contempory audience may not find this alienating as women just had gained the right to vote in 1928, however, a modern audeince would argue with the mistreatment of women as feminism has increased, for example Emma Watson, spreading the word for feminism by utilizing her influencial nature. Birling, clearly only cares for himself and his wealth, which causes him to mistreat women especially in the lower class. Therefore, some may say Mr Birling is presented as an egotistical fiend through him mistreating Eva Smith. Another way, Mr Birling has portrayed himself as selfish is through his argumentative nature towards the Inspector and his ironic statements.

Mr Birling believes that the titanic is "unsinkable, absoloutely unsinable" Perhaps, this quote could imply to the omnipotence of capitalism as the Titanic is the representation of capitalism as only upper class people resided in the cruise. Additionally, as the Titanic did sink it could insinuate the downfall of capitalism as the Titanic was symbolic for capitalism and Mr Birling. His downfall can be represented through the confrontation he recieves from the Inspector and the millions of John Smiths and Eva Smiths in society. Additionally, the noun "aboloutly" potrays an arrogant nature, he belives that he is better than everyone, therefore should be listened to and valued. However, we could also argue Mr Birling beliving himself to be God, as only God can certainly exclaim what will happen, therefore, it could suggest the capitalistic plauge has not only destroyed his morals but his religous views as well which is very common as in the Bible it says money is one of the roots of all the problems. Mr Birling says "I take no responsibility". The short sentance clearly implies his urgency to finish the conversation as he does enjoy confrontation and the Inspector shatterng the "pink and intimate lighting", converting it to "brighter and harder". This is very common as many bourgouseie families took advantage of proleteriats, utlizing their labour and making profit. Therefore, another way we can view Mr Birlings selfishness is through his argumentative nature.

Reply 1

riotdontdenyit

9

I think it is fine/good, you have some grammar issues which i don't think matter for lit much (capitalization mid sentence, also it's spelled didactic not didactic). Anyways, I think you can do so with more brevity when you draw upon the text like you did with the Titanic. You are explaining a bit too much, let what you say explain itself a bit, and allow the person reading to think a bit, you do not need to spell it out so much as it sounds quite verbose. You would benefit from a conclusion and perhaps better structuring as it is very all over the place.

Also, I am looking again now, you have a lot of basic punctuation and spelling errors. It wouldn't directly affect your mark but the quality of your writing is subpar. If I were an examiner seeing a year 11 who is putting forth good ideas but does not know where to put a full stop or how to spell the word 'sentence'. I would have a problem.

I am in no ways qualified to mark it, as you and I are in the same boat, but I would give it a 20/30.

Reply 2

Monam0

OP

7

Original post by riotdontdenyit

I think it is fine/good, you have some grammar issues which i don't think matter for lit much (capitalization mid sentence, also it's spelled didactic not didactic). Anyways, I think you can do so with more brevity when you draw upon the text like you did with the Titanic. You are explaining a bit too much, let what you say explain itself a bit, and allow the person reading to think a bit, you do not need to spell it out so much as it sounds quite verbose. You would benefit from a conclusion and perhaps better structuring as it is very all over the place.

Also, I am looking again now, you have a lot of basic punctuation and spelling errors. It wouldn't directly affect your mark but the quality of your writing is subpar. If I were an examiner seeing a year 11 who is putting forth good ideas but does not know where to put a full stop or how to spell the word 'sentence'. I would have a problem.

I am in no ways qualified to mark it, as you and I are in the same boat, but I would give it a 20/30.

Alrighty, I understand. I was typing this up and didn't have enough time, apologies for the terrible SPAG. However, how would I get to 25/26 marks based on AO1, AO2 and AO3. That information would help me very much.

Could anyone mark this essay and give me a mark out of 30, English Lit Paper 1 AQA

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