Taking a week to respond

I need a bit of advice. My ex and I agreed to be friends after we broke up. We had gone for a period of no contact whilst we were getting over it. However I’m still not over them and still care for them a lot from a distance.

They always initiate messaging however they take 5-7days to respond to any message, even though they are active on social media all the time. This is now upsetting me a fair amount and I find myself getting annoyed. I assume they are doing it to distance themselves but equally I’m getting more hurt by that. They haven’t been horrible at all and are genuinely lovely when they do message, but I’ve got to the point where I can’t see the point of responding as I then feel anxious awaiting their reply or wondering if they will actually reply. What are peoples thoughts on this? It’s the last thing I want to do but it’s like being dangled with a bit of hope and then slamming the door in my face.

Reply 1

Surnia

20

It sounds like you agreed to be friends without thinking through the implications of not being over your ex. The options are speak with him out of courtesy and cut him off completely or accept that he's your ex, you are just friends and he can spend as much time on social media as he likes and doesn't have to make you a priority.

It's not healthy to be clinging on to hope of rekindling things.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

It sounds like you agreed to be friends without thinking through the implications of not being over your ex. The options are speak with him out of courtesy and cut him off completely or accept that he's your ex, you are just friends and he can spend as much time on social media as he likes and doesn't have to make you a priority.

It's not healthy to be clinging on to hope of rekindling things.

No I know it’s not and I said I wanted to cut contact, but he’s initiated trying to be friends multiple times but also said he wants to leave the door open for a relationship for later down the line. So that’s why I’m a bit confused, if that makes sense? They also flirt a fair amount as well.

I’m not expecting it to be the same relationship as before, but even with other friends in my life, they take a day to respond at the latest - so in that sense I’m struggling to see how it is even friends.

Reply 3

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

No I know it’s not and I said I wanted to cut contact, but he’s initiated trying to be friends multiple times but also said he wants to leave the door open for a relationship for later down the line. So that’s why I’m a bit confused, if that makes sense? They also flirt a fair amount as well.

I’m not expecting it to be the same relationship as before, but even with other friends in my life, they take a day to respond at the latest - so in that sense I’m struggling to see how it is even friends.

If he wanted a relationship with you he'd have one now; this 'further down the line' is an excuse to explore his options. Don't be anyone's back-up plan; you're worth more than that and can be someone else's no 1.

Reply 4

Zarek

21

The answer unfortunately is to distance yourself and focus on recovery and other interests. Friendship won’t work until the dust settles. As to rekindling the relationships, leave the ball in his court

Taking a week to respond

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