Am I being egotistical

So... last year I attended Uni of Nottingham for the academic year 2022/2023 and let's just say, it's not what I expected.
When I applied to uni last year, I applied to all RGs bc I thought that guaranteed I'd be in a top top uni, surrounded by people on a similar level to me academically. On the open day, Notts looked really good, so I firmed .
But from the very first few weeks and esp after spending a year there, I've learnt that it is not the academic environment I was looking for. Moreover, I'm surrounded by people with mostly B's and C's, even D's and a few E's too (there are some A students here and there).. This is very much reflected in their attitudes too - all they seem to do is party. I'm all for having fun, but I need that balance too.
I may be imagining this part, but I feel the quality of the students there is reflected in the quality of the departments and the teaching, i.e. not so good.
It seems most of the people around me got in on very reduced offers or through clearing, which is a blow because I worked hard for my grades. I'm all for contextual offers bc people with great potential often have difficult circumstances (I've had a fair few myself), but to be surrounded mostly by people who don't seem to care much about their education and have gotten in on the bare minimum, sometimes well below it, is very disheartening. I know uni is what you make of it, but I get influenced very easily by those around me. If I stay in an env such as that, my education will suffer. In terms of the sports/friends/campus/place, I've been very happy. But my education is going to ****.

So, is it egotistical to say that I feel I could go somewhere better with my grades(A*AAB)?


Honest opinions, and please be harsh if need be

Follow your gut instinct. If it doesn't feel right don't do it.

I choose Aston back in the day because it was the only uni who had students from the course show us around and showed us not only the accommodation but also took us for a pint in the union. That was completely my bag and the right choice for me.

You need to decide what you are looking for in a "good" uni.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm a firm believer that, in education, one size does not equally fit all.

For you, it sounds like being surrounded by students having similar focus/priority/achievement with respect to academics is important. If that's a big part of your definition of what constitutes a "better" university, then it's not necessarily "egotistical to say that [you] feel [you] could go somewhere better with [your] grades." For example, if you have an unconditional at Durham, which has an average entry tariff of 185, it is statistically "better" in view of a factor important to you than Nottingham, which has an average entry tariff of 155. (This is true also for Bath and Warwick, which have average entry tariffs of 180 and 179, respectively.). Personally, I don't see anything wrong with wanting an educational environment that better matches what you were hoping to find, and which may be a better overall fit for you. If anything, I think you just fell victim to the great marketing that RG has done (and/or the global league tables, which focus primarily on postgrad+ level research, as opposed to factors that may be of more interest to, and more directly affect, undergraduates), which may have led you and/or adults advising you to assume (incorrectly, as you have discovered) that RG universities necessarily have, on average, the students who were the most academically accomplished per A-level results.

All of that said, I'm sure you could obtain a fine education at any of these universities. Whatever you choose (or have presumably chosen by now), best of luck.

Yes, this is self-centeredness and ego.

You've just had a fresher year and seem to be more concerned about what other people are doing and why they are doing it. Outside of Oxon and Cambs because of the close supervision, and Imperial for entirely different reasons, you are going to struggle to find another university in the country where first year doesn't involve people being relatively unconcerned about the course.

I think you might also need something of a dose of reality about what undergraduate study is really all about. The harsh truth is that outside of certain courses (the directly vocational ones like medicine or accountancy) very often undergraduate study isn't taken particularly seriously by the university or the lecturers, and are very often seen as a herd of annoying kids that pay the bills. It's postgrad - Masters where the sheep get sorted from the goats, and they really don't care that much about your grades - what they would be looking for on MA/MSc is the quality of your ideas and methods, and who can actually do research. Those are the people that they then look at to send to doctoral school and want to keep. How many As or Bs a person has in their A levels is of absolutely no consequence to a university once you have stepped through the door.

Nottingham is an all round excellent university and I have a feeling you're doing yourself and your contemporaries a disservice. Maybe half of them can go out two nights a week, play sports on Wednesday, go large on Wednesday night, have two girlfriends/boyfirends and academically outstrip you with ease. Just because you think you're working harder, doesn't mean you are a better student and you may be falling into the trap of using a very narrow metric with which to gauge education and university.

I'm also not sure what you are proposing here. If you think that Nottingham isn't up to your standard, what exactly is your solution? Why didn't you go to Cambridge? Where are you thinking of going instead? Bath? What if you go there and its the same story? How about a lower tier university that tells you whatever you want to hear? Then you really will be surrounded by people with Bs and Cs. What you are trying to do here is behave like a postgrad when you haven't even really started your undergrad.

Each to their own, but my advice would be to stop being so uptight and get over yourself. Make some friends, get some interests and do your degree. Spend time with other people and learn about them and their ideas. Unless you're reading Mechanical Engineering, your education experience isn't going to be in the library at 11pm - it's going to be in the cafes and bars and student houses, learning to talk to people and get along with them. Ultimately, outside of a relatively slim range of jobs, you won't be employed on the basis of what you know, but rather what you can do and your ability to function within the workplace and team - and I really don't think "I left Nottingham University in 2023 because I was better than it" is going to win you any prizes.

So... last year I attended Uni of Nottingham for the academic year 2022/2023 and let's just say, it's not what I expected.
When I applied to uni last year, I applied to all RGs bc I thought that guaranteed I'd be in a top top uni, surrounded by people on a similar level to me academically. On the open day, Notts looked really good, so I firmed .
But from the very first few weeks and esp after spending a year there, I've learnt that it is not the academic environment I was looking for. Moreover, I'm surrounded by people with mostly B's and C's, even D's and a few E's too (there are some A students here and there).. This is very much reflected in their attitudes too - all they seem to do is party. I'm all for having fun, but I need that balance too.
I may be imagining this part, but I feel the quality of the students there is reflected in the quality of the departments and the teaching, i.e. not so good.
It seems most of the people around me got in on very reduced offers or through clearing, which is a blow because I worked hard for my grades. I'm all for contextual offers bc people with great potential often have difficult circumstances (I've had a fair few myself), but to be surrounded mostly by people who don't seem to care much about their education and have gotten in on the bare minimum, sometimes well below it, is very disheartening. I know uni is what you make of it, but I get influenced very easily by those around me. If I stay in an env such as that, my education will suffer. In terms of the sports/friends/campus/place, I've been very happy. But my education is going to ****.

So, is it egotistical to say that I feel I could go somewhere better with my grades(A*AAB)?


Honest opinions, and please be harsh if need be

I understand where you're coming from, I really do. To be honest, I just feel I'm surrounded by people who don't want to be there. Like at least 5-10 people if not more that I know of dropped out. And then at least another 5-10 are transferring either to diff courses or diff unis. I honestly would not mind studying medicine at Nottingham, I think that I'd actually love it. But for non-med/dentistry/vet med/maybe nursing degrees, I feel it does matter where you go.
The thing is, if you have enough discipline and a strong enough character, you can succeed anywhere, even at notts, but for someone like me, I need that academic env or to be surrounded by people that work more because I get influenced wayyyyy too easily.
As for my plan, I would take the year out and apply to Bath/Warwick etc., if I don't get a place go back to notts. But if I do get a place and go there and things are the same (which idk I don't really think they will be, esp since they aren't party unis like notts), but even if they are the same, then it's something I'd be able to live with since I genuinely believed it was what was best at the time, and I'd be at a better ranked uni to boot.
Btw I think Nottingham is an amazing uni for postgrad/PhD, they have some really good research, academics etc. But for undergrad, I feel it's not really the place to be, at least for me. I would defo like to do postgrad/research there though.
In terms of asking why I didn't go somewhere else like oxbridge/others, first off, the deadline to apply for oxbridge is much earlier, and I didn't know anything about the process or such (my sixth form didn't really have any support at all for applying to uni). I was basically on my own for uni application, I got a reference but that was it. And as to why I chose Nottingham, it was partly family pressure, and largely the misguided notion that if a uni is RG, it will be attended by high achievers who are enthusiastic about their academics. Of course now I know that RG is not the be-all end-all, and that there are tiers in RGs.
Idk... I just feel I've made a big mistake and if I'd known back then, I would've gone to Warwick/Bath/Bristol/Durham etc.
Btw it's not that I think I'm working harder than others, because I'm definitely not. And that's the problem. I feel I'm surrounded by unmotivated individuals who did not even the bare minimum to get in (MAJORITY of the people I met got in through clearing with Bs/Cs/Ds, even some Es). Unlike other (admittedly few) unis where it's actually difficult to get in and people actually work hard and try their best to get a place. And being surrounded by these sorts of people is really harming my education, because I'm never doing any work. The peer pressure to not work is insane, and unless I literally keep to myself and have no friends, I don't see how I'll ever get any work done.

I do realise that these are all 'me' problems, not Nottingham problems, but either way, my education and mental health are suffering, and I'm constantly plagued with regret and what-if. It just feels wrong for me.
It just feels like such a waste of my grades (which I'm not saying are extraordinary by any means) to go to Nottingham when there are unis ranked much better for my course.
But... I don't know anymore. You're kind of convincing me, largely because I don't want to lose out on 2 years of my life and be nearly 22 when I start uni (Sept 2024).
Btw, I really appreciate your honesty, and the fact you took the time out to reply. I do need to hear both sides and not just the the grass is greener perspective.

P.S - for reference, I struggle alottt with mental health, I have ADHD which already makes it difficult to work, as well as severe depressive episodes, and often boots of debilitating anxiety. Also, I'm just sooooo unsure about life and everything in general, don't know what to to study what I want to do as a job. I'm just...lost.

Unfortunately, I've still not chosen😭 I just really really don't know what to do and I'm so exhausted from feeling so stressed out.
With Durham, I think most likely I won't go. I already had my misgivings about the place, but also, I wanted to change my course that I applied for there. I wasn't allowed to do so for 2023 entry bc it's a smaller dept, and they are already oversubscribed (understandable). They said I'd have to reapply for 2024 entry if I want to study that course, and chances are I wouldn't be made an offer since they have oxbridge applicants and I'd have had so many gaps in my education that I would be a 'weak' applicant.
I have to lose out on another year, plus this year at notts, plus my gap year, so I'd be 3 yrs behind, nearly 4 bc my birthday's earlier so I'd be almost 22 at the time of enrolling next year in Sept.
I don't want to lose another year but I also feel I may regret not changing while I have the chance. But it will come at a cost.
I feel I'd really like Warwick/Bath since they still have that campus env, and good sports like notts, but they have the academic environment I'm looking for. But then there's no guarantee I'll get in if I reapply this year so I may just end up back at notts at this time next year, which would just be such a waste of a year.
My family are saying I've made the mistake so I need to try to make the best of it, and if I really want to take the year out and reapply, I have to be prepared to lose another year of my life (whether I get in or not, I've lost 2 years)
I just don't know what the right thing is to do... I don't like either option at all. In an ideal world, I'd have applied before the Jan deadline this year for 2023 entry and be going to Warwick/Bath etc. But I messed up. I wish I'd applied.
Idk anymore, I'm between a rock and a hard place. My fam thinks notts is the safer option since I have my place there and I don't have to lose any time... but I don't want to live with this regret.

First off, I'm very sorry to hear about your mental health challenges, and I hope you're getting whatever medical attention you require.

At this point, and particularly given your anxiety concerns, my guess is that applying to other unis would take up way more of your head space in the coming year than you want. It's likely to negatively impact your focus on classes and your experiences with friends.

I still maintain that there's nothing wrong with wanting an educational environment that fits you, and if what fits is being surrounded by students who generally have focused on their academics, then so be it. But given that you're now going to be at notts for another year (and the impact of that on your prospects for switching), I do think it's getting more difficult to make the case for trying to switch. I'm sure this will be difficult for you to do, but I think you need to change your focus from yesterday and tomorrow to the here and now. Similarly, it sounds like you need to worry less about how you are perceived by others. Life is rarely the linear path that people envision; fretting about the what-ifs is not going to change anything; and the university from which you graduate will likely not have the outsized impact you may be imagining. I would wager that it's the uncertainty that causing you the most angst, and that your anxiety will nosedive once you've committed to a decision and making the best of whatever you choose. It sounds like you have supportive family members who have offered advice but will support whatever decision you make. My advice would be to heed their advice.

So... last year I attended Uni of Nottingham for the academic year 2022/2023 and let's just say, it's not what I expected.
When I applied to uni last year, I applied to all RGs bc I thought that guaranteed I'd be in a top top uni, surrounded by people on a similar level to me academically. On the open day, Notts looked really good, so I firmed .
But from the very first few weeks and esp after spending a year there, I've learnt that it is not the academic environment I was looking for. Moreover, I'm surrounded by people with mostly B's and C's, even D's and a few E's too (there are some A students here and there).. This is very much reflected in their attitudes too - all they seem to do is party. I'm all for having fun, but I need that balance too.
I may be imagining this part, but I feel the quality of the students there is reflected in the quality of the departments and the teaching, i.e. not so good.
It seems most of the people around me got in on very reduced offers or through clearing, which is a blow because I worked hard for my grades. I'm all for contextual offers bc people with great potential often have difficult circumstances (I've had a fair few myself), but to be surrounded mostly by people who don't seem to care much about their education and have gotten in on the bare minimum, sometimes well below it, is very disheartening. I know uni is what you make of it, but I get influenced very easily by those around me. If I stay in an env such as that, my education will suffer. In terms of the sports/friends/campus/place, I've been very happy. But my education is going to ****.

So, is it egotistical to say that I feel I could go somewhere better with my grades(A*AAB)?


Honest opinions, and please be harsh if need be

In that case, I really struggle to see how this isn't just all about your own confusion.

If you really think that these are "me" problems - and that Notts is a perfectly fine university.....then what does it matter if 5, 10, 20 people you know are leaving and everyone else is going out all the time? How does that affect your own personal study mode?

Put it like this - I would get it if the situation were reversed. Say you went to some other university and you said "it's really boring here, no one ever wants to socialise, there are no sports or social facilities and I have no friends" I would get it. You could got to another university that was more lively and better equipped. But where you are - I can't see how other people's behaviour affects you given the information that you've provided.

Granted - moving university might work. You could go somewhere else and the very act of making the change might be enough. Funnily enough, I do know people who left Nottingham, but that was for very different reasons that they knew would be remedied by the change. As it stands, though - do you really have enough information to know that the change will improve things? You can't predict what next years cohort of people will be like. What if you go to Warwick and it's the same story? Are you going to keep changing until you are happy? These are really expensive decisions to make.

From what you describe as your personal issues, it sounds to me as though your various neuroses are the problem. Of course, environment might play a part in agitating those - but nowhere do you mention that environment is the problem.

Do you have a picture in your mind of what you actually want as a "perfect" scenario? If so - what is it, and do you think there is a realistic prospect of it actually existing somewhere? Did you think that is what Nottingham would be like?

Also look to the future. At some point you will probably have to find employment. Are you confident that you will be equipped by then to deal with a workplace, colleagues, partners and potentially clients who may not fit an idealised picture of what you think is best for you and your mental health?

I would spend some time wondering around NTU or any other 'bad' university to get a fresh perspective of where you really are.

I don't know know if it's an issue of me trying to look for 'better', like the grass is greener on the other side. But idk, I felt I really was wasting my grades in a way by being there. I had a wonderful time there, but my focus was not on my education at all for the entire time I was there.
I don't know if it's a 'me' problem as in I'M undisciplined and unfocused, or if it's a thing of having made similar mistakes in the past and having an obsession with trying to make things perfect.
In the here and now, I would be losing out on an entire 2 years of my life and re-enter uni as a mature student if I dropped out and reapplied (I'd be nearly 22 in Sept of 2024), and there's no guarantee I'll get an offer from the kind of place I'm interested in with all these gaps in my education plus dropping out of notts.
Do I just get on with it and live with this mistake I made? Or do I try to correct it but at a great cost?

To mirror what you have just told me. You are unmotivated and undisciplined. And chances are, the reason for that is because you have no direction. So if you have no direction, there is absolutely no point in doing something as forming as a degree if there is no point to it or no end goal. It is just a waist of money, time and opportunity. But you as an individual are not unmotivated or undisciplined. I used to think I was until 17 years after graduation when I finally got my calling to go into teaching. Turns out I'm totally motivated and totally committed.

So take some time out. Figure out what you want to do and then work backwards in terms of what you need to do to achieve that goal.

Good luck!

Hi,

I feel all of the things you've said are very well-made points. I've always underachieved and never reached my full potential. On the outside, others may say my grades are great, but I KNOW I've underachieved. Not in a self-deprecating manner, but more so in the sense of perpetually not doing my best. I feel this has been as a result of various factors including mental health issues, the environment around me etc. And I feel that I'm putting myself in a position to continue on this streak by being at Nottingham.
I feel that with Nottingham, the environment is not right for me (in terms of the people I'm surrounded by), however I do understand this is a possibility at any university. The difficulty with Nottingham is that going there was a decision I dove into headfirst, in a bullheaded and uninformed manner, whilst also motivated by outside pressures. When one makes a decision after careful deliberation and believing truly that it's the best decision, if things go wrong, (I believe) it's easier to come to terms with and live with than decisions made in haste and for the wrong reasons.
This is why I'm struggling to come to terms with this. If I had genuinely believed Nottingham was right for me at this time last year, then right now, despite things going wrong, I'd potentially be able to come to terms with it and live with my decision. However I wasn't so I'm struggling to do so.
Having said that, I have to be very honest and say that right now, I can't say for sure whether reapplying is right. I need more information. As to how I'd react if things went wrong in a similar way at one of the other institutions, I would hope that I'd be able to live with it as I made the decision based on a multitude of factors and real knowledge, not baseless assumptions and external pressures.

Also, I completely understand where you're coming from with your final two points. It's very true that I can't obsessively try to control factors that are external to me, especially when they are things I'm obliged to persevere with. This is definitely an opportunity to learn and understand that things won't ever usually go how I want them to. The thing I'm more struggling with is that Nottingham felt wrong from the get-go, from even before I went there. I was looking through some old emails, and I saw one where I emailed Warwick on the 9th of September last year, and asked if I could change my choice to them (this was well past the deadline). I tried to change unis even before starting Nottingham because I realised I was letting a very good uni (Warwick) go without any solid reasons, and that I was choosing the other uni because it felt easy. Even at that point, I felt I'd made a mistake. (Warwick said no for entry last yearas their courses were full and it was too late, advised me to reapply). I had my misgivings around Nottingham even before starting. I honestly rushed into it because I was being pressured not to take another gap year, on top of which I did not want to take a year out either. Who knows, perhaps if I'd chosen a different uni, I'd be feeling the same way for a different reason.
Btw, I recognise I have alot of shortcomings and ultimately I put myself into this difficult spot. This is why I'm trying to be as transparent as possible about everything.
Another thing of note - a reason I didn't choose Warwick last year was because I thought that as Nottingham is RG as well, the quality difference between then couldn't be that different, and that they'd be quite similar as they're both RGs, however I wouldn't have to commute after first year (in Warwick second and further years live in leam or cov which is a 30-40min commute to uni daily). Also they had catered accom and Warwick didn't. I used all of these superficial reasons to sway myself towards notts esp since I was so paralysed with regards to decisions, and family pressure was pushing me towards notts. I just chose notts because it seemed like the 'easy' thing to do. I felt wrong at Nottingham from so early on - and I knew I'd chosen it for all the wrong reasons. So then when these issues like academic environment - or lack thereof - came to light, it just added to my initial feelings of having chosen wrong.

Btw, I appreciate everything you've said, and these are all very true things (esp with regards to employment etc.). Thing is, right now, things like the uni I go to etc. are in my control (well... in these circumstances, kinda...), so should I strive for what is best whilst I still can?
(I do realise that what I feel is best or better may well not be, and that my own ego may be getting in the way or perhaps other factors are subconsciously motivating me...)

If you don't mind my asking, what were the reasons of the people you know for leaving? And when they were in their new unis, how did they know it was more right? (Only if you don't mind disclosing this, please tell me if it's an inappropriate question or one you'd rather not answer)

This is exactly right. I have no idea what I want to do even at this age, like 18yr old are already in uni and getting on with things. Meanwhile I have this obsession with needing everything to be perfect before I can even think about starting.
And yeah, taking the time out sounds right, problem is I can't just let the years pass by with nothing to show for them. If I can't figure what I want, I need to at least still be doing SOMEthing right?
Question is, do I get over myself and just stick with this uni? Or go to a uni I feel is better for me? I just don't know... honestly I hate myself.

The people I knew left Notts because they didn’t like town and didn’t want to live there for 2nd and 3rd year.