is she interested or am I bugging?
ok. explaining these things is never brief, so I'll break it up into bullet points so it's easier to read.
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
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Original post by Surnia
Ask her.
yeah i wish it was just that simple i really do but that isn't what im asking about
even if i was 1000% sure she was reciprocating the feelings i would never make this a topic of conversation, especially if it's the first thing i ever say to her. this post also would not exist if it was that simple, and if i could just do it like that. thanks anyway though, i can see the effort you put in to that answer
Original post by isuckatrevising
ok. explaining these things is never brief, so I'll break it up into bullet points so it's easier to read.
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
I'd say she isn't that into you
Original post by isuckatrevising
yeah i wish it was just that simple i really do but that isn't what im asking about
It is what you're asking in the title: is she interested. Only one way to find out, because no-one on here will know.
You can either spend weeks/months/years analysing every micro gesture trying to find a mythical 'risk free' approach, or just ask if they want a low key meetup or food/drink/bowling etc and find out straight away.
I know that seems unthinkable at 16, (it certainly did for me), but it is the only reliable way of finding out whether any feelings are reciprocated.
Otherwise you will waste a huge amount of time developing feelings where it is a compete waste, (and you'll be crushed when someone else just asks them out in the interim).
I know that seems unthinkable at 16, (it certainly did for me), but it is the only reliable way of finding out whether any feelings are reciprocated.
Otherwise you will waste a huge amount of time developing feelings where it is a compete waste, (and you'll be crushed when someone else just asks them out in the interim).
Original post by Kawasa
Girls give signs and would talk to you first if interested. How goodlooking are you? If she's over your league there's no way because she has tons of better options at her fingertips.
thanks for the reply 🙂
i would say we are equal in attraction from my view, but whether i am attractive or not all depends on preference and isn't for me to say really. i would never try to talk to someone who is out of my league as i barely have the confidence to talk to someone who is in my league..lol
Original post by Admit-One
You can either spend weeks/months/years analysing every micro gesture trying to find a mythical 'risk free' approach, or just ask if they want a low key meetup or food/drink/bowling etc and find out straight away.
I know that seems unthinkable at 16, (it certainly did for me), but it is the only reliable way of finding out whether any feelings are reciprocated.
Otherwise you will waste a huge amount of time developing feelings where it is a compete waste, (and you'll be crushed when someone else just asks them out in the interim).
I know that seems unthinkable at 16, (it certainly did for me), but it is the only reliable way of finding out whether any feelings are reciprocated.
Otherwise you will waste a huge amount of time developing feelings where it is a compete waste, (and you'll be crushed when someone else just asks them out in the interim).
hi, thanks for replying!
you're so right, ive said to myself that i need to just take a first step even if it's just small talk, because as you said she'll have someone else speak to her, or she could just lose interest. today at college at the end of the lesson she was kind of waiting for me to leave by packing her stuff up slowly and glancing over, but i was still doing the work and didn't think too much of it. but when she was leaving the lesson she opened the door and then turned her head back and looked at me for a good few seconds before leaving, almost like she acknowledged me without speaking? im still trying to decode that one right now. i just find it's so easy for me to be sitting at home thinking about a scenario where i go and just effortlessly talk to her, but then when it gets to the moment i think about how deranged i was to think it was that easy. hm. but yes thank you for what you said, it's all very helpful
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by isuckatrevising
hi, thanks for replying!
you're so right, ive said to myself that i need to just take a first step even if it's just small talk, because as you said she'll have someone else speak to her, or she could just lose interest. today at college at the end of the lesson she was kind of waiting for me to leave by packing her stuff up slowly and glancing over, but i was still doing the work and didn't think too much of it. but when she was leaving the lesson she opened the door and then turned her head back and looked at me for a good few seconds before leaving, almost like she acknowledged me without speaking? im still trying to decode that one right now. i just find it's so easy for me to be sitting at home thinking about a scenario where i go and just effortlessly talk to her, but then when it gets to the moment i think about how deranged i was to think it was that easy. hm. but yes thank you for what you said, it's all very helpful
you're so right, ive said to myself that i need to just take a first step even if it's just small talk, because as you said she'll have someone else speak to her, or she could just lose interest. today at college at the end of the lesson she was kind of waiting for me to leave by packing her stuff up slowly and glancing over, but i was still doing the work and didn't think too much of it. but when she was leaving the lesson she opened the door and then turned her head back and looked at me for a good few seconds before leaving, almost like she acknowledged me without speaking? im still trying to decode that one right now. i just find it's so easy for me to be sitting at home thinking about a scenario where i go and just effortlessly talk to her, but then when it gets to the moment i think about how deranged i was to think it was that easy. hm. but yes thank you for what you said, it's all very helpful
No worries. If it makes you feel any better, I guarantee you that nearly everyone makes the same mistake about fixating on these small little 'tells' rather than just talking to the other person.
Original post by isuckatrevising
ok. explaining these things is never brief, so I'll break it up into bullet points so it's easier to read.
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
context: there's a girl in my class (16) who I am interested in, and I'm not sure if it's mutual or not. I am 16 too. the desks are set out like this: |____| . the whiteboard is opposite the ____ line. the two | | rows of desks face each other. she is at the top left of the left | line, while I am at the right side of the ___ line.
Here is the chronological list of all that's happened!
• girl in my class who catches my eye after the first lesson.
•after a few days of having the lesson, we make eye contact for the first time. I look away immediately because I was just looking at her and feel like a weirdo for it.. lol
• 20 minutes or so later, I feel her looking at me. I check, and sure enough she is but I look down straight away.
• the next lesson, we exchange glances a bit more frequently. I can never hold them though, and tend to look away first because it would feel wrong to hold the gaze. at this point I feel that she is only looking at me because she feels me looking at her, and is checking to see if I am. that's not good.
• but, in the same lesson SHE holds the gaze and I do a bit too. she looks at me for longer than usual, but neither of us smile and I kick myself for not trying to
• lesson after this, we don't really look at eachother much at all despite my best efforts. it feels a bit hot and cold, like some lessons we will have good mini eye contacts and other lessons she doesn't really acknowledge me being there as much.
•one big turning point in my mind: a lesson where the task we are doing is fun and is as a class. when jokes are made, she looks at me smiling. I look back, also smiling, and she doesn't drop the smile or look away.i do though, and feel a bit uncomfortable so look away. I look back up a second later to see her still looking at me though, and she's still smiling. I hold the gaze for a bit longer and look down for a bit longer this time. I then think to look up one more time and she is still looking at me with a grin on her face. I think to talk to her after the lesson but she leaves fairly quickly and I don't want to be running after someone I've never spoken to before.
• the turning point feels like it was for nothing and is 'undone', because the next lesson it goes back to the phase of her not really taking much notice of me despite me trying to recreate that feeling from the last lesson.
that long list (sorry) brings me to now. It is still on the hot and cold phase, but in the most recent lesson I noticed she would keep her body facing towards me, even though it means she has to angle herself away from the board to do so. she also runs her fingers through her hair quite a lot in the lesson, but I don't want to be one of those guys who takes a basic human action the complete wrong way and thinks it's some super deep hint and I'm some egotistical prick who thinks it means something.. NO! but this is all coming from someone who is absolutely dreadful at taking hints and this kind of stuff in general. So, I guess my question is: is this a clear yes go talk to her chain of events?? or is it a no, don't get over your head kind of thing?
best thing to do is either just ask her out and you'll find out whether she's interested or not, or keep doing this dance until you've graduated and its too late.
just speak to her, you'll regret in the future if you don't.
Original post by cherryblossomed
best thing to do is either just ask her out and you'll find out whether she's interested or not, or keep doing this dance until you've graduated and its too late.
just speak to her, you'll regret in the future if you don't.
just speak to her, you'll regret in the future if you don't.
thanks for replying.
you're definitely right, i just struggle to find a good time to speak to her. the college i am at is so big, and i have barely seen her outside of the classroom. when i see her in the lesson - e.g. waiting outside to go in, she always goes straight to her friends who sit next to her and i don't think that would go down very well. i just need to find a right moment, but i'm struggling.
Original post by Admit-One
No worries. If it makes you feel any better, I guarantee you that nearly everyone makes the same mistake about fixating on these small little 'tells' rather than just talking to the other person.
Yes, I overthink every interaction I have with her it's a joke! I can't stop just randomly thinking both extremes - like she definitely likes me because she did x y and z this day, or thinking that she didn't meet my gaze so she hates me now.. lol
I said this to someone else too, but I just struggle with finding the right time to possibly try and speak to her. Because she made friends with the girls who sit next to her in the lesson early on into the year, they are the only people she goes to speak to/stand with before we go in to the classroom - which is the only time i feel is fitting to try and talk to her, and i definitely don't think i should talk to her with her friends there because that just feels wrong.
she likes you for sure
Original post by Anonymous
she likes you for sure
thanks for the reply - you think so? i am hoping that's the case, but i just don't know how to determine whether its just that she either likes the attention or is only looking at me because she knows im looking, and is merely checking how often i look at her. but what is it that makes you so sure? thanks
Original post by I am Christine
I'd say she isn't that into you
ok, thanks for the reply, you think it's just me overthinking it all? i kind of do that alot with things like this
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by isuckatrevising
thanks for the reply - you think so? i am hoping that's the case, but i just don't know how to determine whether its just that she either likes the attention or is only looking at me because she knows im looking, and is merely checking how often i look at her. but what is it that makes you so sure? thanks
a lot of people tend to stare at their crush a lot and its true that when jokes are made people look at their crush to see their reaction.
Original post by isuckatrevising
thanks for replying.
you're definitely right, i just struggle to find a good time to speak to her. the college i am at is so big, and i have barely seen her outside of the classroom. when i see her in the lesson - e.g. waiting outside to go in, she always goes straight to her friends who sit next to her and i don't think that would go down very well. i just need to find a right moment, but i'm struggling.
you're definitely right, i just struggle to find a good time to speak to her. the college i am at is so big, and i have barely seen her outside of the classroom. when i see her in the lesson - e.g. waiting outside to go in, she always goes straight to her friends who sit next to her and i don't think that would go down very well. i just need to find a right moment, but i'm struggling.
do you have any way to contact her? i had a similar situation where i was like the girl you're talking about and the only way i was able to talk to him alone was by messaging him
Original post by Anonymous
a lot of people tend to stare at their crush a lot and its true that when jokes are made people look at their crush to see their reaction.
that's true,
but i just had the lesson about 10 minutes ago, and she didn't look at me once - and was making sure she didn't look at me, so i feel like any interest she had has just completely dissolved over the weekend so i don't know whether i should even bother now :/ she might have looked me when i wasn't aware but i doubt it from how we didn't make eye contact at all
Original post by cherryblossomed
do you have any way to contact her? i had a similar situation where i was like the girl you're talking about and the only way i was able to talk to him alone was by messaging him
yes i do but it's on a platform the whole college use, and while you can privately message on it i can just imagine not knowing what to say, and if i did know i am almost certain she would screenshot or show it to her friends and that would be so embarrassing..
i also literally 10 minutes ago just had the lesson, and she didn't look at me once despite my efforts for us to make eye contact. it was like over the weekend her apparent interest just disappeared, and i guess it was 8:30am on a monday morning so that could affect it a bit, but it was like i didn't exist. whether she looked at me when i wasn't aware i have no idea, and she might have laughed at something i said to the class but i didn't want to risk looking over in the fear she wouldn't be laughing or whatever. do you have any clue as to why she's suddenly just gone all cold on the whole idea? its so deflating and feels like im back at square 1, and that everything that had just happened meant nothing :/
edit: i forgot this bit, but basically someone told me that she lives in a village which ill call abcd... i literally live there too and i get the train to college, so there's a chance ill see her at abcd station where she would definitely be on her own, which would be such a good time to talk to her - but it's been 10 weeks of me getting the train into college now and ive never seen her there
(edited 1 year ago)
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