Durham rethinking
I've had a bunch I issues with the lead up to uni this years from missing my firm by two marks to being placed into a catered accom rather than self-catered. And now I've been placed in a shared room which seems like a nightmare. Both of my parents are moving separately in the coming wicks but don't have places sit up yet and its making my feel sort of forced into going to uni even if it doesn't feel rig ht. If they weren't moving would consider simply commuting but feels as though I can't. 1 am a generally anxious person and all of this paired with the unis lack of communication is really making me rethink whether uni is right for mi this year. 1 really want to study this course but the general assignments and everything else is making mi reconsider, all % this alongside my worries about money
Original post by Hollymcmullan
I've had a bunch I issues with the lead up to uni this years from missing my firm by two marks to being placed into a catered accom rather than self-catered. And now I've been placed in a shared room which seems like a nightmare. Both of my parents are moving separately in the coming wicks but don't have places sit up yet and its making my feel sort of forced into going to uni even if it doesn't feel rig ht. If they weren't moving would consider simply commuting but feels as though I can't. 1 am a generally anxious person and all of this paired with the unis lack of communication is really making me rethink whether uni is right for mi this year. 1 really want to study this course but the general assignments and everything else is making mi reconsider, all % this alongside my worries about money
Hi, it sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety around change, which considering everything that's going on for you is really normal. Firstly, break it down into smaller things. Look at, what made you want to go to Durham firstly... was it the course itself? Secondly, our brains are wired to think of the worst case scenario.. which generally isn't as bad as we think it'll be. So.. positives of a catered accommodation, (you get to eat regularly meals and save on shopping trips) positives of sharing a room (it might help you make friends and give you a fun experience).. If however, its going to cause financial hardship for being in a catered accommodation you could perhaps email them and explain this.
I would write down pros and cons. It is a big decision and you shouldn't do anything you feel is too much right now.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, it sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety around change, which considering everything that's going on for you is really normal. Firstly, break it down into smaller things. Look at, what made you want to go to Durham firstly... was it the course itself? Secondly, our brains are wired to think of the worst case scenario.. which generally isn't as bad as we think it'll be. So.. positives of a catered accommodation, (you get to eat regularly meals and save on shopping trips) positives of sharing a room (it might help you make friends and give you a fun experience).. If however, its going to cause financial hardship for being in a catered accommodation you could perhaps email them and explain this.
I would write down pros and cons. It is a big decision and you shouldn't do anything you feel is too much right now.
I would write down pros and cons. It is a big decision and you shouldn't do anything you feel is too much right now.
Hiya, ive emailed botht the college and admissions and though admissions hasnt gotten back to me (i have to respond to the accom within a week) college has said they cant do anything, and dont seem to have any financial aid that pertains to my situation. Durham wasnt my first choice uni but the course is good. Though tbh i have been rethinking a lot of it, wondering if im rushing into it and if i want to actually study the specific degree. I dont want to begin uni then drop out and have the added weight of partial loans to pay back on top of when i do return, but i also dont want to not go simply because of anxiety if it ends up working out. But i do think that the whole accom issue will have a toll on me. Im really bad when i dont have control over things and simple stuff like npt being able to cook for myself and not having my own space i think is gonna be detrimental to my year. I knkw its only a year but still, just sont know what to do
You can always defer a year. Keep your place but have time to get yourself and everything sorted!
Original post by Hollymcmullan
I've had a bunch I issues with the lead up to uni this years from missing my firm by two marks to being placed into a catered accom rather than self-catered. And now I've been placed in a shared room which seems like a nightmare. Both of my parents are moving separately in the coming wicks but don't have places sit up yet and its making my feel sort of forced into going to uni even if it doesn't feel rig ht. If they weren't moving would consider simply commuting but feels as though I can't. 1 am a generally anxious person and all of this paired with the unis lack of communication is really making me rethink whether uni is right for mi this year. 1 really want to study this course but the general assignments and everything else is making mi reconsider, all % this alongside my worries about money
Hi Holly,
I'm so sorry to hear your situation hasn't been resolved, having anxiety over whether you're rushing into University is very normal and something I went through too. Ultimately, I did decide to take a year off and join Uni in the next year and that was the best option for me as it did allow me for time to think about what I want and grow as a person before starting University. That being said, I would suggest making a pros and cons list and going from there. If you feel that the cons of joining now outweigh the pros, then perhaps think about deferring your offer.
Maybe take some time to think about everything and what your next moves are if you decide to join this year or if you decide to take a year off.
I wish you the best of luck
-Ghala
(Official DU Rep)
Hi Holly
I'm sorry to hear that it has all been so stressful for you. My advice would be to think about the end point, ie if the end point is that you want to have studied for your degree at Durham, then make sure each small step you take takes you down that path.
If you decide to proceed this year, try to bear in mind that most people seem to end up loving the college in which they are placed and equally most seem to find advantages in terms of in-built friendship about sharing a room. I know several people who thought they wanted self catering who found the catered option to be helpful in being a time saver (no need to be shopping for groceries / prepping / washing up). The thought may be worse than the reality, but in the end only you can decide if you are willing to give it a go. If not, you have the choice to ask if you can defer (may or may not be agreed) or withdraw and go through UCAS again with results in hand.
If you defer to 2024, there would be no guarantee that the accommodation allocation would be any different next year because there is an element of random allocation about it. If you would be happy to take your chances and be happy (resigned) if the allocation was no better next year, then that could be an OK decision for you, provided you have / can find something to do this year as otherwise you might feel that you are marking time until September 2024.
You have a lot of changes going on in your life and that is difficult for anyone, but you have done well do have got through your A Levels and be an offer holder for course you want to do at Durham; you should be proud of yourself.
Good luck!
I'm sorry to hear that it has all been so stressful for you. My advice would be to think about the end point, ie if the end point is that you want to have studied for your degree at Durham, then make sure each small step you take takes you down that path.
If you decide to proceed this year, try to bear in mind that most people seem to end up loving the college in which they are placed and equally most seem to find advantages in terms of in-built friendship about sharing a room. I know several people who thought they wanted self catering who found the catered option to be helpful in being a time saver (no need to be shopping for groceries / prepping / washing up). The thought may be worse than the reality, but in the end only you can decide if you are willing to give it a go. If not, you have the choice to ask if you can defer (may or may not be agreed) or withdraw and go through UCAS again with results in hand.
If you defer to 2024, there would be no guarantee that the accommodation allocation would be any different next year because there is an element of random allocation about it. If you would be happy to take your chances and be happy (resigned) if the allocation was no better next year, then that could be an OK decision for you, provided you have / can find something to do this year as otherwise you might feel that you are marking time until September 2024.
You have a lot of changes going on in your life and that is difficult for anyone, but you have done well do have got through your A Levels and be an offer holder for course you want to do at Durham; you should be proud of yourself.
Good luck!
This all sounds really stressful. So your options seem to be:
1. Proceed with Durham and try to make the best of it
It sounds like you really don't want to do this, given the financial position and the accommodation
2. Ask Durham if you can defer for a year for financial reasons, so you can request self-catering accommodation at the same or different college
Is this an option, for Durham, or for you? Do you think it's where you want to be if the accommodation was right? Could you live at home for a gap year? Would you have the motivation to do something productive with the time?
3. Withdraw and reapply in January
Will your parents each have moved and be settled by January? Could you apply to a university that allowed you to live at home and commute?
I don't know whether clearing is still open and if you'd consider that for this year, because presumably you got good grades to get into Durham.
Best of luck for the coming days, while you're exploring what's possible and deciding what's best.
1. Proceed with Durham and try to make the best of it
It sounds like you really don't want to do this, given the financial position and the accommodation
2. Ask Durham if you can defer for a year for financial reasons, so you can request self-catering accommodation at the same or different college
Is this an option, for Durham, or for you? Do you think it's where you want to be if the accommodation was right? Could you live at home for a gap year? Would you have the motivation to do something productive with the time?
3. Withdraw and reapply in January
Will your parents each have moved and be settled by January? Could you apply to a university that allowed you to live at home and commute?
I don't know whether clearing is still open and if you'd consider that for this year, because presumably you got good grades to get into Durham.
Best of luck for the coming days, while you're exploring what's possible and deciding what's best.
Just wanted to let whoever wants to know know, i decided to apply to defer for a year, just need to hear back from durham to get it all accepted but they said it should all be fine. I feel better than i have all month in the run up but i wanted to thank everyone for the advice cos it really helped
i am happy for you, Holly
Original post by Hollymcmullan
Just wanted to let whoever wants to know know, i decided to apply to defer for a year, just need to hear back from durham to get it all accepted but they said it should all be fine. I feel better than i have all month in the run up but i wanted to thank everyone for the advice cos it really helped
Hiya,
I'm glad you were able to work things out!
I wish you the best of luck!
-Ghala
(Official DU Rep)
Original post by Hollymcmullan
Just wanted to let whoever wants to know know, i decided to apply to defer for a year, just need to hear back from durham to get it all accepted but they said it should all be fine. I feel better than i have all month in the run up but i wanted to thank everyone for the advice cos it really helped
Then that probably means you have made the right decision.It is good to reach out and get different ideas of how to proceed.I think a year out will really help you,the A levels are really stressful and so is applying to Cambridge and holding an offer I hope you can now celebrate your success at your still stellar A levels.A gap year will give you time to breathe.Have Durham agreed to guarantee self catered next year?This would be useful to know to pass on to others.
Glad you are feeling better having made the decision.
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