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Red flag

is it a red flag if my BF of 9 months snaps and hangs out with other girls and go to bars, parties and clubs (in a group setting) without me?

these girls know he's in a relationship

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Nope.
It's a red flag if your bf lies to you.
Or is spending more time chatting with random girls/his exes on social media than he spends offline with you.
Tbh yes, if he is able to spend time with other girls, he should have time to spend quality time with you. Of course there might be a situation where he is just going with his friends and wants some quality friend time and his relationship with these girls are platonic and they have no feelings for him, I guess it isn't such a big problem. But this isn't very likely and there isn't a reason to go without you and to hangout with girls who AREN'T with him over you (I'm not saying men and women can't be friends but he should be keeping you one of his top priorities over other women because you're his gf), so this is 100% a red flag. Make sure to have a talk with him and try to resolve this, but if he doesn't corporate I think you should part way or atleast have a break from eachother.
Reply 3
No. Why do you think it is?
Original post by Anonymous
is it a red flag if my BF of 9 months snaps and hangs out with other girls and go to bars, parties and clubs (in a group setting) without me?

these girls know he's in a relationship

The question is besides having boundaries put into place or if this was of some insecurity to you even though you know that your boyfriend uses snap to send snaps to other girls, goes to bars and clubbing with them that too in a pile of group without asking you does that make you comfortable or uncomfortable? These girls knowing he’s in a relationship should respectfully be obedient to you okay I understand if your okay with him being friends with girls then that’s a different matter but to party in big groups as well as clubbing that is a red flag unless you ain’t okay and comfortable with it.
Reply 5
Original post by Surnia
No. Why do you think it is?

just wanted to get other opinions and advice

he seems close with them and has left me before to spend time with them
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
he has left me before to spend time with them

He's entitled to a social life and independent of you. It's only a problem if he's not keeping plans with you or wasting money on this.

What has your boyfriend said about it? You have discussed it with him, haven't you?
Original post by Surnia
He's entitled to a social life and independent of you. It's only a problem if he's not keeping plans with you or wasting money on this.

What has your boyfriend said about it? You have discussed it with him, haven't you?

Entitlement to it comes with respect and loyalty you don’t go clubbing, partying with a big group of people girls as stated by the OP leaving his girlfriend to feel jealous, insecure or hurt by his actions especially if his girlfriend isn’t invited and at the same time his so called girl “mates” knows he has a girl that doesn’t make sense…his girlfriend has feelings too
Reply 8
Original post by Mohammed_80
Entitlement to it comes with respect and loyalty you don’t go clubbing, partying with a big group of people girls as stated by the OP leaving his girlfriend to feel jealous, insecure or hurt by his actions especially if his girlfriend isn’t invited and at the same time his so called girl “mates” knows he has a girl that doesn’t make sense…his girlfriend has feelings too

Only if the girlfriend has reason to feel jealous, insecure or hurt. If, for example, it's because she doesn't have her own friends and social life, where does the issue lie?
Original post by Surnia
Only if the girlfriend has reason to feel jealous, insecure or hurt. If, for example, it's because she doesn't have her own friends and social life, where does the issue lie?

Actually having friends or not that too without the confidence to socialise doesn’t necessarily mean she can be jealous if it’s a genuine insecurity and it makes her uncomfortable or hurt it’s right and respectful for the OP to not only open up to her boyfriend and discuss about it although he should remain respectful throughout a trait of many needed in a relationship by avoiding big group gatherings unless his girlfriend present. And only talking to girls if his girlfriend comfortable with it
(edited 8 months ago)
Reply 10
Original post by Mohammed_80
Actually having friends or not that too without the confidence to socialise doesn’t necessarily mean she can be jealous if it’s a genuine insecurity and it makes her uncomfortable or hurt it’s right and respectful for the OP to not only open up to her boyfriend and discuss about it although he should remain respectful throughout a trait of many needed in a relationship by avoiding big group gatherings unless his girlfriend present. And only talking to girls if his girlfriend comfortable with it

That needed more punctuation.

There are occasions where you can socialise without your partner, because its your choice or the organiser's, and also occasions where you have to talk to the opposite sex.
Original post by Surnia
That needed more punctuation.

There are occasions where you can socialise without your partner, because its your choice or the organiser's, and also occasions where you have to talk to the opposite sex.

Yeah interesting use of work-related examples that’s reasonable but no way is her boyfriend clubbing or partying with a group of girls for work related purposes is he? :rolleyes:
(edited 8 months ago)
Reply 12
Original post by Mohammed_80
Yeah interesting use of work-related examples that’s reasonable but no way is her boyfriend clubbing or partying with a group of girls for work related purposes is he? :rolleyes:

Why can't he party or go clubbing with girls just because?

I'm waiting for more context from the OP...
Reply 13
Original post by Surnia
Why can't he party or go clubbing with girls just because?

I'm waiting for more context from the OP...

for some context, it's not work related parties or clubbing haha
Original post by Surnia
Why can't he party or go clubbing with girls just because?

I'm waiting for more context from the OP...


Did he takes OP feelings into perspective? Where’s the respect exactly in this? In large form of groups maybe I could understand a table of 4/5 friends yeah for a drinks and stuff but what’s the need for so many? Why can’t OP necessarily be there with him just so she’ll have her peace of mind, and why is there a need for him to go but without the OP?
Original post by Anonymous
for some context, it's not work related parties or clubbing haha


@Surnia you can’t tell me that’s not being disrespectful and that’s harsh on the feelings of OP
(edited 8 months ago)
Reply 16
to clear up a few things

it makes me uncomfortable

him hanging out with girls (partying and clubbing) isn't work related

i have my own friends (girls)
Original post by Anonymous
to clear up a few things

it makes me uncomfortable

him hanging out with girls (partying and clubbing) isn't work related

i have my own friends (girls)

@Surnia there you go a little more clarity and context. Clearly it does hurt the OP hence the questioning of why he isn’t being respectful? Or why doesn’t he take OP along. Or the insecurity or uncomfort behind him partying and clubbing with groups of girls
Original post by Anonymous
is it a red flag if my BF of 9 months snaps and hangs out with other girls and go to bars, parties and clubs (in a group setting) without me?

these girls know he's in a relationship


Were they friends before you came along? And is there a mixture of guys in the friend group?
(edited 8 months ago)
Original post by Mohammed_80
Did he takes OP feelings into perspective? Where’s the respect exactly in this? In large form of groups maybe I could understand a table of 4/5 friends yeah for a drinks and stuff but what’s the need for so many? Why can’t OP necessarily be there with him just so she’ll have her peace of mind, and why is there a need for him to go but without the OP?


Because he's allowed to have friends and a life outside of her Mohammed.
(edited 8 months ago)

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