The Student Room Group

class cliques at uni

I feel so out of place in my French class. I have anxiety but I try not to let it hinder my ability to converse in class. I have a decent accent for a British student, but nobody wants to talk to me. my uni has a posh stereotype and there is (sadly, but truly) a clique culture. they were in the same area for first year, some are housemates now, and they don't appear to want to talk to me because I said that I don't drink to get blackout drunk. they ignored me after I said it. I prefer live music and cocktail bars, just not getting too drunk. someone said I 'put in lots of effort' because I'm speaking in eng not French. I didn't au pair or do a gap year. most of them admitted they're just doing it for the uni experience, which I'm sure is great for them, but I'm here for the degree as a first-gen. all I want is for my parents to see me holding a certificate with a first and wearing a grad gown, but to do that I feel like I can't make any friends. I'm also vegan so I don't feel like I'm welcome in the French society... (that's fine though haha, it's nbd)

I have made one friend, but she's not in my classes this year. I do still see her but it's not the same as talking in class. it's like a lottery in hoping that there will be one or two people that will actually talk to you and not ignore you, and my friend said the same. i'm just glad there are no group projects, as I know that the work would all get put onto me (and I'd refuse it). it's a shame because I get the impression that it's like high school where they're probably nicer on their own than in a group, except we're 19/20/21 and not 12. it's also a shame because my other subject (I do joint hons) is just like a small community and is super lovely. I just feel like because I'm not fitting the mould of everyone else that all of a sudden I don't deserve to talk to anyone. how are you supposed to enjoy a class based on language learning and conversation when very few around you seem to care about it?

a disclaimer; I am not saying that every French student at my uni is like this, but it is an overwhelming majority of them and it is rather upsetting when you just want to be accepted in the class for who you are and not appear as an outcast purely because you have different intentions for your degree.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I feel so out of place in my French class. I have anxiety but I try not to let it hinder my ability to converse in class. I have a decent accent for a British student, but nobody wants to talk to me. my uni has a posh stereotype and there is (sadly, but truly) a clique culture. they were in the same area for first year, some are housemates now, and they don't appear to want to talk to me because I said that I don't drink to get blackout drunk. they ignored me after I said it. I prefer live music and cocktail bars, just not getting too drunk. someone said I 'put in lots of effort' because I'm speaking in eng not French. I didn't au pair or do a gap year. most of them admitted they're just doing it for the uni experience, which I'm sure is great for them, but I'm here for the degree as a first-gen. all I want is for my parents to see me holding a certificate with a first and wearing a grad gown, but to do that I feel like I can't make any friends. I'm also vegan so I don't feel like I'm welcome in the French society... (that's fine though haha, it's nbd)

I have made one friend, but she's not in my classes this year. I do still see her but it's not the same as talking in class. it's like a lottery in hoping that there will be one or two people that will actually talk to you and not ignore you, and my friend said the same. i'm just glad there are no group projects, as I know that the work would all get put onto me (and I'd refuse it). it's a shame because I get the impression that it's like high school where they're probably nicer on their own than in a group, except we're 19/20/21 and not 12. it's also a shame because my other subject (I do joint hons) is just like a small community and is super lovely. I just feel like because I'm not fitting the mould of everyone else that all of a sudden I don't deserve to talk to anyone. how are you supposed to enjoy a class based on language learning and conversation when very few around you seem to care about it?

a disclaimer; I am not saying that every French student at my uni is like this, but it is an overwhelming majority of them and it is rather upsetting when you just want to be accepted in the class for who you are and not appear as an outcast purely because you have different intentions for your degree.

** first para I meant speaking French not English !
Anon,

Keep your goal in mind and try not to be deterred by the people in class who are not so friendly. It's great when you get on well with people and when people are easy to talk to, but if they are not very nice people then you don't have to be friends with them!

It might be an idea to focus on the friendship you've made with the person who is not in your class this year and forming friendships on the other side of your joint honours. This will help you feel appreciated and valued.

It might also be possible to find other ways to practise your French skills. There might be international students who you could practise with. It might be an idea to find about events being run by the international office to see if it might be possible to meet some French-speaking students. You could even volunteer to help out at events. You could also see whether there is a Globe Cafe at your university.

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Look, you are doing joint honours so have some nice friends in the other degree subject. You have a close friend to confide in so it's not all doom and gloom.

Putting it into perspective, it's 6-8 hours a week when you will need to interact with the students taking French. As you state, all assessments are individual so no group work to worry about. Just enjoy the ride, attend classes and work your socks off, forget about the others; if all they want to do is to get smashed out of their faces then they are too immature for you.

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