gcse english langauge paper 1 q2

hey, can someone mark my answer and let me know how I can improve please. asap and thanks.(I have a mock coming up)

"June 2017 paper 1
Q2 -"Rosabel looked out of the windows; the street was blurred and misty, but light striking on the panes turned their dullness to opal and silver, and the jewellers' shops seen through this were fairy palaces. Her feet were horribly wet, and she knew the bottom of her skirt and petticoat would be coated with black, greasy mud. There was a sickening smell of warm humanity - it seemed to be oozing out of everybody in the bus - and everybody had the same expression, sitting so still, staring in front of them. Rosabel stirred suddenly and unfastened the two top buttons of her coat... she felt almost stifled. Through her half-closed eyes, the whole row of people on the opposite seat seemed to resolve into one meaningless, staring face." how does the writer use language here to describe rosabels bus journey home?
The writer uses pathetic fallacy to describe Rosabel's bus Journey home. Thuss This is apparent in dullness" has connotation of unpleaseatness which is reflected in ler bos journey. This gives the reader a insight of what her bus journey wastike.
and imagery language and The reader includes senses to describe Rosabels bus journey home. This is The phrases" feet were horribly wet, Sickening smell", "felt almost stifled, looked The writer describe in detail her surroundings and what she saw, felt, smelt. This alugues the reader to put themselves in Rosabels shoes and be cube to sympathise with her, and almost experience the bus journey themsekes.
The writer uses an oxymoron to describe Rosabels bus journey home. For instance "sickeni Smell of warm humanity' This condradicts. sickening and the adjective worm' and 'human- that have positive connotations. The warmness repres he destination which is home then sickening fapt The writer usese sickening to resemble hen bus joumey home. The's gives the reader the effect of experiencing a unpleasant journey. or a greater reward at the end.