The Student Room Group

Inheritance

When I was 14 my mom died and it was an unexpected death . Her cash legacy was split between me, my sisters and her boyfriend . My dad and mom split up way before that but my dad some how got a share of the money .
I got 10k and it was stated in the documents. But I got to see that till this day . I am 18 and my dad is making threats saying he will kick me out of the house so now I am concerned, where did the money that was suppose to be for me go ?
I will like all of that back before I move out .
Is this possible ?
Till this day he hasn’t mentioned the money to me and I know he has no intention in giving it to me .
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous #1
When I was 14 my mom died and it was an unexpected death . Her cash legacy was split between me, my sisters and her boyfriend . My dad and mom split up way before that but my dad some how got a share of the money .
I got 10k and it was stated in the documents. But I got to see that till this day . I am 18 and my dad is making threats saying he will kick me out of the house so now I am concerned, where did the money that was suppose to be for me go ?
I will like all of that back before I move out .
Is this possible ?
Till this day he hasn’t mentioned the money to me and I know he has no intention in giving it to me .

If your parents weren't divorced then your Dad would get a share.

Who was the Executor of the will? They should know where the money is - contact Citizens Advice
(edited 4 months ago)
Reply 2
'Mom'.

We must assume you are living in the US then.
Reply 3
Original post by Muttley79
Original post by Anonymous #1
When I was 14 my mom died and it was an unexpected death . Her cash legacy was split between me, my sisters and her boyfriend . My dad and mom split up way before that but my dad some how got a share of the money .
I got 10k and it was stated in the documents. But I got to see that till this day . I am 18 and my dad is making threats saying he will kick me out of the house so now I am concerned, where did the money that was suppose to be for me go ?
I will like all of that back before I move out .
Is this possible ?
Till this day he hasn’t mentioned the money to me and I know he has no intention in giving it to me .

If your parents weren't divorced then your Dad would get a share.

Who was the Executor of the will? They should know where the money is - contact Citizens Advice


They were divorced
Reply 4
Original post by McGinger
'Mom'.

We must assume you are living in the US then.


No I live in the UK
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous #1
If your parents weren't divorced then your Dad would get a share.

Who was the Executor of the will? They should know where the money is - contact Citizens Advice


They were divorced
He still might have been entitled to some if she named him or if the divorce decree said so.

Who was/is the Executor - they are legally responsible for making sure the money goes where it should. [I've been an Executor and records have to be kept]
Reply 6
If you aren't sure on details, ask your sisters did they get their money and what information they have on who dealt with it.

'But I got to see that till this day'; what do you mean by this?
Reply 7
Yes, follow it up ask your siblings if they got their share. If not it will be better as you will all have a case against your dad
I am afraid I have form in this type of case, and I feel for you very deeply.

My parents were quite wealthy thanks to my mum investing wisely. My mum, who was in poor health, was always showing me where she kept some folders in the house. She said that one day I would come into quite a bit of money but I would be careful with it.

Then a few years later she died. My dad met someone three months later and married her. At the solicitor’s meetings I and my brother were invited but the solicitors did not bring the money up. I just assumed I would not get this until my father died.

Then ( I won’t go into the reasons why) my father and I fell out and we didn’t speak for years ( let’s say he had been treating me badly). As a single mum I carried on struggling for years, until out of the blue I got a phone call from my dad. I put the phone down but my peacemaker son phoned him back. He wanted to give me the share of the money my mum left me and that I was due for since 2006. You see, when money is left, the solicitors trust the parent ( in this case) to do the right thing and distribute the money as per the deceased parent’s wishes ( of course my brother got his money in 2006 and tried to guilt me out of accepting my share). My father has carried on with this taking control of the wills tactic with my aunt’s will ( she told my son she had seen a solicitor before she had died and had left him some money yet he and several grandchildren she was enormously fond of) got nothing. Solicitors should stop assuming the senior family member is honest and keep those in receipt of inheritance up to date ( if underage at the time, at least inform them when of age and ring fence the money so that the father cannot use it).

Now that your father is threatening you with eviction the situation has become urgent and you will need to do some homework. I wonder if there are any documents in the house that may indicate which solicitors he uses. If not, do what muttley says and go to the citizen’s advice bureau. I am willing to bet that this would have been drawn up by a solicitors in your local town.

Also the citizens advice bureau can help you with his threats to throw you out - your rights, where to go from here.

I hope you can find your independence without this awful father ( as I have done). Years later my father (86 today) is still up to his own tricks, snubbing me from family events and laughing about it , and making my equally obnoxious brother sole executor of his will ( which I am pretty sure will cut me out)

All the best to you and please know that however dark your life may seem right now, there will someday be life at the end of the tunnel.
(edited 4 months ago)
Reply 9
Original post by McGinger
Then stop using daft Americanisms like 'Mom'.

Some people in this country refer to their mother as 'mom'. It is a matter of personal choice and probably depends upon the way that they were brought up.

The OP's mother has died so your comment might seem insensitive.
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by McGinger
Then stop using daft Americanisms like 'Mom'.

Please… do you not think this person has gone through enough, only to have herself or himself corrected for their grammar?
(edited 4 months ago)
Reply 11
Original post by Oxford Mum
I am afraid I have form in this type of case, and I feel for you very deeply.

My parents were quite wealthy thanks to my mum investing wisely. My mum, who was in poor health, was always showing me where she kept some folders in the house. She said that one day I would come into quite a bit of money but I would be careful with it.

Then a few years later she died. My dad met someone three months later and married her. At the solicitor’s meetings I and my brother were invited but the solicitors did not bring the money up. I just assumed I would not get this until my father died.

Then ( I won’t go into the reasons why) my father and I fell out and we didn’t speak for years ( let’s say he had been treating me badly). As a single mum I carried on struggling for years, until out of the blue I got a phone call from my dad. I put the phone down but my peacemaker son phoned him back. He wanted to give me the share of the money my mum left me and that I was due for since 2006. You see, when money is left, the solicitors trust the parent ( in this case) to do the right thing and distribute the money as per the deceased parent’s wishes ( of course my brother got his money in 2006 and tried to guilt me out of accepting my share). My father has carried on with this taking control of the wills tactic with my aunt’s will ( she told my son she had seen a solicitor before she had died and had left him some money yet he and several grandchildren she was enormously fond of) got nothing. Solicitors should stop assuming the senior family member is honest and keep those in receipt of inheritance up to date ( if underage at the time, at least inform them when of age and ring fence the money so that the father cannot use it).

Now that your father is threatening you with eviction the situation has become urgent and you will need to do some homework. I wonder if there are any documents in the house that may indicate which solicitors he uses. If not, do what muttley says and go to the citizen’s advice bureau. I am willing to bet that this would have been drawn up by a solicitors in your local town.

Also the citizens advice bureau can help you with his threats to throw you out - your rights, where to go from here.

I hope you can find your independence without this awful father ( as I have done). Years later my father (86 today) is still up to his own tricks, snubbing me from family events and laughing about it , and making my equally obnoxious brother sole executor of his will ( which I am pretty sure will cut me out)

All the best to you and please know that however dark your life may seem right now, there will someday be life at the end of the tunnel.

My father is also an absolutely useless parent too, for many reasons. In certain ways, I think that I have experienced something slightly similar. My grandparents always said that we could have a share of the inheritance when they died. They left it to their two sons who didn't share a thing. There was nothing in the will to say otherwise, though, so c'est la vie in my case and par for the course (sister was angry). Then my father initially split his money three ways between his current partner and my sister and me, but changed it to all go to his partner. One way of looking at it is that, if he dies before her, then she dies without spending it, my grandparents' money effectively goes to her kids. His money, his choice, and you can't choose your family. His partner probably won't even tell me if he dies. It does show how priorities change when one person in a relationship dies or a couple separate.
I have been thinking recently about this in relation to how to protect my daughter financially if I should die (not that I am planning on it for some time), bearing in mind that a person's priorities may change after a partner dies, whatever may be said whilst one is alive. I am afraid that verbal assurances mean nothing as far as I am concerned.

OP, as advised above, I would get advice on where you stand from Citizens Advice. Shelter can give advice on housing options.
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Cote1
My father is also an absolutely useless parent too, for many reasons. In certain ways, I think that I have experienced something slightly similar. My grandparents always said that we could have a share of the inheritance when they died. They left it to their two sons who didn't share a thing. There was nothing in the will to say otherwise, though, so c'est la vie in my case and par for the course (sister was angry). Then my father initially split his money three ways between his current partner and my sister and me, but changed it to all go to his partner. One way of looking at it is that, if he dies before her, then she dies without spending it, my grandparents' money effectively goes to her kids. His money, his choice, and you can't choose your family. His partner probably won't even tell me if he dies. It does show how priorities change when one person in a relationship dies or a couple separate.
I have been thinking recently about this in relation to how to protect my daughter financially if I should die (not that I am planning on it for some time), bearing in mind that a person's priorities may change after a partner dies, whatever may be said whilst one is alive. I am afraid that verbal assurances mean nothing as far as I am concerned.

OP, I would get advice on where you stand from Citizens Advice. Shelter can give advice on housing options.

Yes my father has said that if he dies first, the bulk of his money goes to my step mother. However it is of no use to her at all, as she has dementia so is not aware of anything at all.

For years he has bragged about his money and spending it like water but now because of the dementia he is grounded.

Tbh I have made my own happy life and have happy successful children so the money is neither here nor there to me either.

However op is still young and needs to make his/her own way in life.
(edited 4 months ago)
Reply 13
Original post by Oxford Mum
Yes my father has said that if he dies first, the bulk of his money goes to my step mother. However it is of no use to her at all, as she has dementia so is not aware of anything at all.

For years he has bragged about his money and spending it like water but now because of the dementia he is grounded.

Tbh I have made my own happy life and have happy successful children so the money is neither here nor there to me neither

I imagine that he may well be reassessing the situation now she has dementia. It's good that you have a happy life and that your sons are doing well.
Executors have a legal duty to distribute the funds as laid out in the will. They can be imprisoned if they do not - it's the Executors duty not the person to who the money was left.

To change a will you have to apply for a deed of variation which needs a solicitor - some comments on this thread sound as if fraud has been committed.

You can get copies of wills and that is what I would do if you are concerned about how funds have been distributed.
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Oxford Mum
I am afraid I have form in this type of case, and I feel for you very deeply.

My parents were quite wealthy thanks to my mum investing wisely. My mum, who was in poor health, was always showing me where she kept some folders in the house. She said that one day I would come into quite a bit of money but I would be careful with it.

Then a few years later she died. My dad met someone three months later and married her. At the solicitor’s meetings I and my brother were invited but the solicitors did not bring the money up. I just assumed I would not get this until my father died.

Then ( I won’t go into the reasons why) my father and I fell out and we didn’t speak for years ( let’s say he had been treating me badly). As a single mum I carried on struggling for years, until out of the blue I got a phone call from my dad. I put the phone down but my peacemaker son phoned him back. He wanted to give me the share of the money my mum left me and that I was due for since 2006. You see, when money is left, the solicitors trust the parent ( in this case) to do the right thing and distribute the money as per the deceased parent’s wishes ( of course my brother got his money in 2006 and tried to guilt me out of accepting my share). My father has carried on with this taking control of the wills tactic with my aunt’s will ( she told my son she had seen a solicitor before she had died and had left him some money yet he and several grandchildren she was enormously fond of) got nothing. Solicitors should stop assuming the senior family member is honest and keep those in receipt of inheritance up to date ( if underage at the time, at least inform them when of age and ring fence the money so that the father cannot use it).

Now that your father is threatening you with eviction the situation has become urgent and you will need to do some homework. I wonder if there are any documents in the house that may indicate which solicitors he uses. If not, do what muttley says and go to the citizen’s advice bureau. I am willing to bet that this would have been drawn up by a solicitors in your local town.

Also the citizens advice bureau can help you with his threats to throw you out - your rights, where to go from here.

I hope you can find your independence without this awful father ( as I have done). Years later my father (86 today) is still up to his own tricks, snubbing me from family events and laughing about it , and making my equally obnoxious brother sole executor of his will ( which I am pretty sure will cut me out)

All the best to you and please know that however dark your life may seem right now, there will someday be life at the end of the tunnel.

If the Solicitors were the Executors and have not complied with the will [you can get a copy] then they have broken the law. They can't pass on the responsibility as you describe ...
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Muttley79
If the Solicitors were the Executors and have not complied with the will [you can get a copy] then they have broken the law. They can't pass on the responsibility as you describe ...

In most of these cases there was probably sadly only a verbal agreement and trust that the surviving parent/offspring would distribute the money to the grandchildren or whomever. Otherwise I don't understand how somebody could break the law without a penalty.

Btw, it's possible that @McGinger was only pointing out the possibility that the OP might specialist advice based on the American legal system in which case British law would be pointless.
Reply 17
Original post by BreadForce
In most of these cases there was probably sadly only a verbal agreement and trust that the surviving parent/offspring would distribute the money to the grandchildren or whomever. Otherwise I don't understand how somebody could break the law without a penalty.

Btw, it's possible that @McGinger was only pointing out the possibility that the OP might specialist advice based on the American legal system in which case British law would be pointless.

Yes very likely McGinger was attempting to ascertain if the OP was American for that reason.

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